The Weight of the World
by Shoshanna33
Summary: Draco and Hermione find themselves hitting low points in their life in the years following the war. Neither one of them are happy and both have inner demons to face. What happens when they meet up again and decide to share those demons with each other? Hermione finds herself acting very out of character but she can't help but be drawn into Draco's world.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

**Summary: Draco and Hermione find themselves hitting low points in their life in the years following the war. Neither one of them are happy and both have inner demons to face. What happens when they meet up again and decide to share those demons with each other? Hermione finds herself acting very out of character but she can't help but be drawn into Draco's world. Can they help each other, or will they both just get swallowed in their own despair?**

**Authors Note: Everything is canon up until the end of the war. It's not epilogue compliant and is a Dramione pairing if you haven't already figured that out! It's rated Mature for bad language and mentions of sexual situations. No smut. Some angst. Some fluff. Song lyrics are courtesy of Blue October, The Weight of the World. I hope you enjoy the story!**

**The Weight of the World**

_I wake up in the bathroom, and dare not bother asking_

_Why the mirror's cracked and all I see are shards of glass inside of me_

_There's voices there to dare me, my father's here to scare me_

_My mother sits beyond the door, she's curled up crying on the floor_

_Look at what her son's done, when the weight of all the world has gone wrong_

Hermione walked into the smoky little dive bar in the heart of London's nightlife. She didn't often go to places like this, but she was feeling a bit down this evening. Work was overwhelming and her heart wasn't really in it right now. She and Ron had broken up a month ago due to the fact that they were just not compatible together. They'd given it a good try after the war, but they fought all the time. And Ron had wanted to hurry up and get married and settle down and she was terrified of that prospect. Which was something he didn't understand. He wanted to have a life like his parents had. But there was just no way Hermione was ready for something like that. She had fallen into a depression after the war because she'd tried and failed to restore her parents memories. She had tracked them down in Australia and tried to explain to them who she was and why she was there, but they didn't understand. And they were not very welcoming of her because they thought she was insane. She'd even gone so far as to knock them out with a spell and bring them home where healers worked to undo the damage she had caused. But they were not successful. So Wendell and Monica Wilkins returned to their life in Australia and did not wish any further contact with the strange girl who claimed to be their daughter. So she effectively lost her family and it had been her own fault. She didn't realize that the spell she'd done wouldn't be able to be reversed. She should have known better. But that was all water under the bridge now. She'd come to accept the fact that she was virtually all alone now in this world. She still had Harry for a friend, thankfully. But they had grown a little distant after she and Ron had broken up. It left her in a funk. And that's why she was in this bar tonight. To try and numb a bit of the pain she was in. Her life hadn't quite turned out the way she hoped it would.

She sat at a small table and sipped a Cosmopolitan. The clientele of this establishment were a little rough around the edges, but somehow she liked the anonymity of the place. No one really paid attention to you, and it looked as though the rest of the bar had bigger troubles than you did, which was comforting somehow. She didn't really pay much attention to the crowd, but her eyes did scan the room a few times. And finally they settled on a blonde man sitting in the corner nursing some sort of amber colored drink. Likely Scotch or Whiskey. She wasn't sure. But he looked up and suddenly she realized that she knew him. It was Draco Malfoy. She immediately averted her eyes and tried to cover her face with her hair. She hoped he hadn't spotted her. But then she realized it probably didn't matter even if he did spot her. It's not as if he would speak to her or anything. But she didn't want any trouble if he decided to swagger over to her and say something insulting. She really wasn't in the mood to hear it. She hadn't seen him in well over a year and she didn't care to see him ever again, truth be told. She'd almost forgotten he existed at all. She signaled the waitress to bring her another drink and then she let her eyes wander back to where Draco was sitting. He wasn't looking at her. He was just staring at the glass in front of him. That was probably for the best. She was surprised she even recognized him at all because he didn't really look the same. His hair was messy and he was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Something she'd never seen him wear before. He looked down on his luck, just like every other loser in the bar, including herself. She couldn't help but be slightly curious about him now that she'd seen him. She wondered what he'd been up to. Nothing by the looks of him.

The waitress put down her drink and she took a big sip of it and set it down again. She kept her gaze focused on a table of women who kept laughing at intervals at some sort of funny anecdote that Hermione was too far away to hear. But they looked like the only ones in the joint who were actually having fun. She envied them a little. She wanted to get up and sit down with them and join the laughter. But that was a ridiculous notion. She couldn't very well just sit at a table with a bunch of strangers. Her gaze traveled back towards Draco, and this time he was actually looking at her. Staring, in fact. Apparently he had noticed her there as well because he didn't look away when their eyes locked. She didn't know what do at first, but she finally just looked back down at her drink. When she got the nerve to look up again, he wasn't sitting at the table anymore. He was gone. She let out a sigh of relief. He'd left. Thank God he didn't try to speak to her. She was beyond relieved not to have to face an old enemy because she wouldn't know what to say. But just then someone leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"What's a girl like you doing in a shithole like this, Granger?"

She looked behind her and found Draco standing there with his drink in his hand and he was swaying slightly, showing that he was very drunk.

"Malfoy," she said in a slightly aloof manner.

"You didn't answer my question. What are you doing in this place?" he asked her curiously.

She shrugged. "Same thing you're doing."

"I saw you look at me."

"I wasn't looking at you. You were looking at me."

"Maybe I was. But you looked at me too. Don't tell me you didn't know who I was."

"No I knew who you were. And you know who I am, so why are you speaking to me?" she wondered.

"I dunno. You looked lonely. Thought I'd keep you company," he said as he slid into the seat across from her.

She just stared at him and said nothing at first. Then she asked, "What are you doing? Why would you sit with me? Just go away."

"What if I don't want to go away?"

"Honestly, you're drunk. And obviously you're not thinking clearly or you wouldn't be sitting here. Just leave me alone. We're not friends, Draco," she told him heatedly.

"You got that right. We're not fucking friends. You hate me. Join the club. Who doesn't hate me?" he said bitterly as he took a drink and swallowed it down.

"You hate me too, remember. It's a mutual loathing."

He looked at her for a moment then he sighed. "I don't hate you," he told her.

"Yeah right."

"No I don't. I could care less actually. Hating you would mean I actually gave a damn about something. But I don't." He signaled the waitress to refill his drink and then he downed the rest of it.

"Well whatever. Just go away. I don't want you sitting with me," she told him, making a face at him.

He completely ignored her and just sat there waiting for his drink, watching the waitress at the bar. Then he turned around and fished a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one up. Hermione coughed and waved her hand in front of her face.

"Will you put that out? You smoke? Since when do you smoke?" she asked him with annoyance.

He took a drag and blew the smoke away from her. "Why do you care? And I'm not putting it out. It relaxes me."

"Well go relax at your own bloody table. I didn't invite you to sit with me."

The waitress plunked down his drink and he took a big swallow and just looked at Hermione.

"So really, why are you in this dump? Surely a princess like yourself would frequent a better establishment," he said to her taking another puff off his cigarette.

"If you really must know, I wanted to come here so I could be anonymous. I never imagined I'd run into the likes of you. What the hell are you doing in a dump like this either? Shouldn't you be someplace swanky and well to do?" she wondered.

"Yeah because I'm real welcome at those places now. Don't you realize that my family's name has been disgraced. Everyone shuns us now. Such is life, I guess," he told her somewhat bitterly.

"Surely you still have some friends," she offered.

He laughed and shook his head. "Afraid not."

"Well that's too bad. I'm sorry. But I'm certainly not your friend either so why don't you run along now and go be elsewhere?"

"Why do you want me to leave so bad? I don't see anyone else lining up to sit with you," he told her.

"I don't want anyone to sit with me. I wish to be alone."

"Where are the Wonder Twins? Potter and Weasel? Don't tell me you've parted company with them," he asked her.

"I don't really see how it's your business. But Ron and I broke up and Harry and I don't speak all that often anymore since then."

"Sucks for you. Why'd you break up with the Weasel?"

"We just weren't compatible. It's a long story. One I don't wish to recount to you."

"Suit yourself. I was offering you a shoulder to cry on."

"I don't want your shoulder. I don't want you near me at all. What I don't get is why you're speaking to me. Aren't I beneath you?" she asked him.

"Beneath me? Love, I've sunk so low that you'd have to be in middle earth to be beneath me now. I could give a shit less where you come from. I don't care if your parents are fucking Martians. Makes no difference to me anymore," he explained to her.

"Well that's a stark turnaround from your usual feelings. I can't even count the number of times you called me a filthy mudblood and practically spit on me."

"Yeah, I was a real bastard, wasn't I? There was this one time when I thought you were actually gonna kill me. But you just punched me instead. Man, I deserved that shit," he laughed and took another drink.

"What is wrong with you? You're acting very weird. Are you remorseful? That doesn't seem like you," she said with confusion.

"Do you know what it's like to grow up believing in something and then finding out later that it was all just a fucking load of bullshit? That in the end, none of it mattered at all?"

"No, not really," she admitted.

"Well I do. You spend some time in the company of true evil and you learn a lot. Like what actually matters and what doesn't. I had the weight of the world on my shoulders for so long and I had no one I could actually talk to. Do you know how lonely that is?" he asked her sadly.

She felt really uncomfortable and still didn't understand why he was talking to her. "I know what it's like to be lonely," she admitted softly.

"Yeah? When were you ever lonely?"

"Right now."

"Well that makes two of us."

Both of them were quiet for a long time, just sipping their drinks and trying not to look at each other. Draco didn't know why he was sitting with her at all except he was rather drunk and just feeling the need to connect with someone. Anyone. It didn't really matter who it was. Plus some part of him wanted to apologize to her for the way he'd acted for so long, but he just couldn't really get the words out. He didn't know how to apologize for the things he'd done and said. And he knew she likely wouldn't accept the apology anyway. Why would she?

"You want another drink?" he asked her finally.

"You buying it?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

He nodded and signaled the waitress over. "Two more, please," he told her. She hurried off and went to get them.

"So how drunk do you plan on getting here tonight?" she wondered, noting he was already pretty far gone.

He shrugged. "As drunk as they let me before they toss me out." He lit up another cigarette, much to her dismay.

"You really shouldn't smoke those. They'll kill you," she told him.

"Yeah? I hope so," he said.

"Draco, what happened to you? I don't understand why you're doing this to yourself."

"You don't understand? Do you have any idea the horrors I've seen? The things I myself had to do against my will?" he asked her. Then he lifted up his sleeve and showed her his Dark Mark. "You see this? Should I be proud of it? Does this make me a good man?"

"That mark doesn't have to define you. You can be whatever you want to be."

"I don't want to be anything."

"Self pity won't get you anywhere. You're choosing this life. It doesn't have to be this way," she told him seriously.

"And you care because?"

"I don't care. Not really. But you're sitting here in my space telling me your tales of woe. What else am I supposed to do?"

"Look I don't need to be saved or anything. I just want to sit here and finish my drink."

"Fine."

"You drunk, Granger?" he asked her curiously.

"Not as drunk as you are," she told him.

He laughed slightly. "Well keep drinking then."

"Why?"

"So we can be on even ground. You fancy a drag of my cigarette?" he asked her.

"No, I don't smoke."

"Well you should. It's fantastic. Plus my parents always told me not to do it, so it makes it that much more fun."

"Are you cross with your parents?" she wondered.

"My parents? I don't see them at all anymore. I've got my own place."

"Where do you live?"

"Why? You wanna come home with me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course not. I was just curious," she scoffed. 

"You were always such a goody two shoes. Probably never did even one single bad thing in your life. Think you're better than me," he rambled drunkenly.

"I've done things that were bad, " she informed him.

"Like what? Go to bed without flossing? Give me a break. You don't know anything about what it's like to be bad."

"I do too."

"Name one bad thing you've done," he dared her.

"Well I'm sitting here with you, for starters."

"Is that the best you've got? Consorting with the enemy? You're a real rebel, Granger," he laughed at her.

For some reason, he was getting under her skin. She didn't want to be a goody two shoes. And she didn't want to always do the right thing. She was sick of it. She was tired of always being reliable and supposedly perfect and above reproach. And she was just drunk enough to do something about it.

"I can be a rebel," she told him haughtily. "I can do bad things."

"Really now? Tell me, what bad thing would you like to do?" he said leaning over the table and getting in her face.

"Where do you live?" she asked.

"Close. You wanna see the place?"

"Take me there," she said against all her best judgment. She didn't care anymore what anyone thought. She wanted to go home with him. She was sick of being alone and lonely.

"Alright." He threw money on the table and then he took her hand and led her up towards the door. She followed him willingly. Her mind was fuzzy and clouded and she knew she was making a huge mistake. But she couldn't seem to bring herself to care.

They walked out of the bar and went down the street. They walked along together wordlessly. Hermione's mind was very altered and she was having trouble walking straight. But so was Draco. He kept drifting over towards her and would bump into her constantly.

"How much farther? I'm having a bit of trouble walking," she admitted with a small laugh.

"It's not far. It's right over there," he said, pointing at an old apartment building.

He grabbed her hand and dragged her across the street with him and they walked up the steps. The place was old but well kept. They stepped into the ancient looking lift and let the doors close. They went up to the third floor and then he pulled her off with him. She followed him to his door and he opened it up. He ushered her inside and turned on a light.

"This is it. Home sweet home," he announced.

She looked around and noted that the place was a mess. There were items of clothing lying around and blankets and pillows tossed everywhere. There was an old pizza box sitting on the table and a bunch of empty liquor bottles lying in the corner in a heap.

"You actually live here?" she asked with surprise.

"Yep. It's a hell hole I know. But they say that the way your home looks reflects how you feel inside. So I say it suits me."

"So you feel dirty and full of trash and old pillows?" she wondered.

"Something like that," he told her. He grabbed up some junk off the couch and threw it across the room. "Here, sit down."

She did as instructed but she couldn't help but worry what she might be sitting on. "I have to admit I expected you to live better than this," she told him.

He shrugged. "Did you expect me to be in the penthouse suite or in some palace somewhere?"

"Honestly? Yes. This place is rather disgusting," she made a face at him.

"I'm sure if my parents could see it they'd have heart attacks. Their only son living in a hovel. It's kind of amusing to imagine the looks on their faces," he told her.

"Don't you have a trust fund or something like that? Can't you afford better?"

"Sure I could afford better. But the money runs out faster if you spend it on something you don't need. And I don't need a fucking palace for just me," he explained to her.

"You need a maid or something."

"You volunteering?" he asked with a smirk.

"Hardly. I don't even know why I'm here."

"I don't either, but what do you say we drink some more?" he offered her.

"What do you have?"

"Whiskey."

"Yuck."

"You don't have to drink it," he told her as he grabbed a bottle out of the kitchen and sat down next to her.

"Don't you need a glass?"

"Nope," he said as he took a swig out of the bottle. He tried to hand it over to her. "Here, just try some."

She hesitated for a moment and then shook her head. "That's okay."

"What? Do you think I have cooties? Just drink it."

She stared at him for a second then she just grabbed the bottle and took a swig. She wiped her mouth and made a face. "Oh yucky. That's horrible. How do you drink that?"

"After you're drunk enough, you can't really taste it."

He was right about that. She sat there with him and they passed the bottle back and forth to each other until it was almost gone. Hermione was completely inebriated, more so than she'd ever been in her life.

"Draco, I need to go home. The room is spinning," she told him, holding onto his arm for dear life.

"You can't go home. You're way too drunk. Just stay here," he urged her.

"Right. I don't think so. I don't want you taking advantage of me," she scoffed.

He laughed. "Give me a break. As if I'd do that."

"Why wouldn't you? Is it because I'm just a filthy little mudblood? Too disgusting to touch?" she asked heatedly.

"I don't give a fuck about that shit. I already told you that before," he said giving her a glare.

"Then why wouldn't you take advantage of me?" she asked drunkenly.

"Because I'm a fucking gentlemen, that's why. Just because you're fucked up beyond the telling of it, doesn't mean I'm gonna take your clothes off. Give me some credit, will you? If I want to get shagged I'll go find some _willing_ bint and shag her," he said angered that she thought so little of him.

"Oh. I just thought maybe it was because you still thought I wasn't good enough Or pretty enough," she muttered softly.

"Bollocks. You're plenty pretty enough. And good enough. I'm the one who's not good enough for you. I mean, why the fuck are you in my flat getting drunk with me anyway? Why'd you ask to come back here?" he wondered.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't want to go home. It's lonely there. Plus I guess I just assumed if I came back here with you something would happen," she admitted.

"Something would happen? Like what? Me taking advantage of you? Is that what you _wanted_ to happen?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, of course not. I mean, I don't know. I just figured you would make a move or something. But it's not like I wanted you to or anything," she said insistently.

He just stared at her for a moment and said nothing. Her face was turning red and he had a feeling it wasn't from being drunk. She was embarrassed. "You _wanted_ me to make a move then? Because I could," he whispered leaning over closer to her.

"That's not what I want. I should leave," she said weakly.

"Then go. I won't stop you." His face was only inches away from hers now and he was staring right into her eyes.

"I'm going," she told him feebly.

But then something inside of her just snapped. She lunged for him and kissed him and he kissed her back just as hungrily. They fell back onto the couch and she was on top of him, clawing at his shirt and trying to rip it over his head. He let her do it and she went back to kissing him.

"Looks like it's you taking advantage of me," he said breathlessly between their frantic kisses.

"Shut up. Don't talk. Just keep kissing me," she told him as she grabbed him again.

Soon they were nothing but a tangled mess of limbs rolling about on the couch. All of their clothes disappeared and soon they were locked in a frenzied coupling. They ended up knocking over the coffee table and somehow ending up across the room on the floor amidst a pile of pillows and liquor bottles. Hermione wasn't thinking at all about anything. Nothing except getting lost in his touch. And Draco wasn't thinking either. It didn't even really register to him who he was shagging senseless. Not until he actually looked in her eyes and found them glazed over and dark. He couldn't tell if she was in the throes of lust or just plain drunk off her ass. Or both. But she kept propelling it along and he didn't stop her. Soon they both just lay there on the floor in a heap, breathing heavily. Neither one of them spoke. Draco lay down beside her and grabbed a stray throw blanket and pulled it over them. The next thing either of them knew, it was morning.

Hermione opened her eyes groggily and had no idea where she was. She looked to her right and saw a pile of liquor bottles in the corner, and then she looked to her left and saw a man lying face down with a pillow over his head. He appeared to be naked and when she further examined herself she realized she was naked too. And then it all came crashing back to her in bits and pieces. She sat up straight, clutching the blanket to her tightly and pulled the pillow off Draco's head. She saw the messy blonde hair and then she saw his arm where the Dark Mark glared at her right in the face.

"Oh my God!" she cried, not believing what she had done. "This isn't real."

"What the hell is going on? Be quiet. I'm trying to sleep," Draco mumbled at her angrily.

"What did we do?" she asked him hurriedly.

He rolled over and looked up at her. "What do you think we did, love? We played chess," he said sarcastically.

"Oh my God. Did we have sex? Please tell me we didn't do that," she said horrified at herself.

"You don't remember?" he wondered.

"No. I don't. I mean, I sort of do, but I thought I dreamt that. This isn't happening. I think I'm going to puke," she said feeling suddenly nauseous.

"The bathrooms down the hall. If you puke on my floor, you're cleaning it up," he told her as he pulled the pillow back over his head.

She grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her and then she ran down the hall and found the bathroom. She barely made it in time before her stomach revolted on her. She wasn't sure if it was because she'd drank so much or because she just realized she slept with Draco. It was probably a combination of both things. She just sat down on the floor of the bathroom and laid her head against the toilet. Everything was fuzzy in her memory but she had the distinct recollection of kissing Draco and ripping off his shirt. And then the rest of it was all jumbled up and hazy. She'd never drank that much before in her life and she didn't ever want to do it again. It had been a huge mistake in more than one way. Did she really shag the enemy? He was a Death Eater. They hated each other. And yet somehow here she was. Naked on his bathroom floor. She didn't even want to come out of there because then she'd have to see him again. She contemplated jumping out the window but it was too small, they were on the third floor and all she had on was a blanket. She didn't even have her wand so she could apparate out of there. It was in her purse somewhere in his living room. God only knew where.

Just then there was a knock on the door.

"Are you okay? Or are you still puking your guts out?" Draco asked her.

"I'm fine," she called back. She wasn't really fine but the nausea had passed at least.

"Well can I get in there then? I need to use the loo," he called back to her.

She supposed she couldn't stay hidden in his bathroom forever. That would be a crazy plan. She pulled herself up off the floor and hugged the blanket tightly to her body. She opened the door cautiously and he stood out in the hallway wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.

She covered her eyes. "Couldn't you put some clothes on?"

"Love, you've seen me naked. Now you're hiding your blushing eyes over my underpants? You're a strange bird," he said pushing past her and readying himself to use the facilities.

"Oh my God, don't just whip it out! Let me get out of here first. What is wrong with you?" she asked horrified at his behavior.

"Well hurry up and get out then because I have to go. I drank enough shit last night that I'm about to bloody burst."

She turned quickly and slammed the door behind her. She rushed down the hall and into the living room, searching for her clothes. The place was a disaster area though. It was already messy before, but they'd completely wrecked the place in the throes of passion. It looked like a bomb went off. She was throwing clothes and blankets and the old pizza box across the room when Draco entered. The box almost hit him in the face but he ducked out of the way at the last second.

"Where are my fucking clothes?" she asked him frantically.

"I don't know. Around here somewhere," he shrugged as he sat at the kitchen counter and lit up a cigarette.

"Will you put that bloody thing out? It's going to make me throw up again. Be useful and help me find my clothes!" she shouted at him.

He sighed and put the cigarette in the ashtray, but refused to put it out. He got up and helped her root through all the junk and he found her knickers under a pillow. He held them up in front of her face. "Looking for these?" he smirked.

She looked mortified and grabbed them out of his hand.

"You know, you have sexier knickers than I was expecting from you. You seemed like the type of girl who would wear huge knickers like grandma's wear. But these were quite pleasing and lacy."

"Shut up about my knickers! I can't believe you even saw them," she said with horrification.

He laughed. "I saw more than your knickers. I've seen all of you. Up close and quite personal. You really are a feisty bird. I figured you'd probably never even seen yourself naked much less anyone else. But there you were ripping off my clothes."

"Please don't talk. I don't want to hear about what I did. I was obviously out of my mind with drink. And you knew that! You knew I was drunk and you should have stopped me!" she yelled at him accusingly.

He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. "Don't play that card, love. You came onto me. I told you I wasn't interested and you kissed me. So don't act like I fucking took advantage," he told her heatedly.

"Let go of me."

"Not until you admit that you wanted it."

"I mean it. Let go of my arm," she said firmly.

He just looked at her for a moment, then he let go of her. "Fine." Then he bent over and picked up his shirt from the night before. It was ripped at the collar. "See this? This is what you did to my shirt. You bloody well ripped it right off. So stop playing Little Miss Innocent."

She ignored him because she knew he was probably right. The memories that were coming back to her were not good ones. She had been acting like a sex crazed lunatic. Who was that girl? Is that really who she became when she'd had that much to drink? She had no idea what to think at all. But she did find her pants and her shirt finally. Her bra was still missing in action.

"You want this or shall I keep it as a souvenir?" Draco asked her as he held up her bra.

She gave him a glare and went to snatch it out his hands but he pulled it back. "Ask me nicely," he taunted her, enjoying every minute of her righteous indignation.

"Give me my sodding underwear back or I'm going to find my wand and hex you to death," she said angrily.

"You wouldn't kill me. You haven't got the stones," he challenged her.

"I've got stones. I've got plenty of stones. Just give it back. Why are you being such a fucking wanker?"

He tossed the bra in her face. "You're annoying as hell, you know that? You act like I did something wrong when all I did was exactly what you wanted me to do. Get over yourself, will you?"

"Get over myself? _You_ get over yourself! You're acting like I meant to shag you when it's clear I would never do anything of the sort if I was in my right mind," she hissed at him.

He went over and picked up his already lit cigarette and took a drag. "I don't get you. First you act like you hate me. Then you wanna come back to my place. Then I don't make a move and you act all hurt and offended. Then you fucking attack me with your lips and rip my clothes off and somehow I'm a wanker?"

"Look Draco, I don't care what I said or did last night. This never happened. You got it? Do not tell another living soul about this. I mean it," she said, getting in his face. Then she grabbed his cigarette and stubbed it out angrily. "And I told you to put this thing out!"

He just stared at her and watched her run off to the bathroom with her clothes to change. He didn't understand her at all. But she did surprise him, that's for sure. He may have been drunk too, but he remembered what happened. He remembered it all. And he wouldn't be forgetting it any time soon. He just wished she wasn't being such a crazy loon about the whole affair. So what if they shagged? Who cared? And who was he gonna fucking tell anyway? He had no friends anymore. And it's not like he'd be skipping off to the Ministry to tell Potter and all her other work friends about their little liaison. He didn't get why she was so upset. The night was bloody brilliant as far as he was concerned.

She finally emerged from the bathroom and was fully clothed. She walked past him and searched for her purse.

"Where is my purse?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Help me look for it so I can get out of here."

"Why should I help you do anything?" he asked. "Last night was like a bloody revelation to me and you're acting like I forced you to do something you didn't want to do. You instigated that. Not me. So stop acting like I'm the asshole here," he told her bitterly.

"Fine. Maybe I did instigate it? But that wasn't me! That's not something I do. I was crazed. And I don't know why you're strutting around acting like it meant something because it didn't. It didn't mean anything. And I just want to forget all about it!"

"Now my feelings are hurt. It didn't mean anything to you?" he said to her with a smirk.

"No, it meant nothing. And don't expect it to ever happen again. It was a mistake. You're a mistake. And I'm getting out of here."

"Don't you want your purse?" he asked holding it up in front of her.

"Where was this?"

"I dunno, I just found it."

She grabbed it out of his hand and slung it over her shoulder and marched toward the door. He got up quickly and stopped her path. He stood in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"I know who you are now, Granger. You can pretend it didn't happen, but I know you now. I've seen the real you. I've tasted it. And believe me, you'll be back for more," he told her seductively.

She shoved him away from her as hard as she could. "Leave me alone. I detest you. This is never happening again. And you don't know anything about me. So just sod off and let me go!"

He stared at her and said nothing. She stared back and her eyes were full of anger and fear. But he wondered who she was really angry with and who she actually feared. Him? Or herself? He just let her walk out and slam the door. He'd see her again, he thought to himself. This wasn't over. It was just beginning.

Hermione got home to her place and immediately threw off her clothes and got in the shower. She wanted to scrub away the dirtiness she felt for having done what she did the night before. It was completely out of character for her and not something she'd ever done before. She'd only been intimate with one person and that was Ron. She'd never once gone home with a strange guy from a bar. Much less someone like Draco Malfoy who she actually couldn't even stand. What was wrong with her? She had no idea. He'd just seemed so broken and miserable that part of her wanted to help him feel better. But then there was also a part of herself that still thought he was a smug arrogant jerk and she didn't care if he was miserable. But she herself had been feeling miserable that night. She was drunk and lonely and those are bad combinations. Plus something stirred inside of her that wanted her to do something completely bad and unexpected. That's why she'd really gone home with him. Because she was sick of always being level headed and smart and noble and righteous. For once she just wanted to shirk all of that and do something outrageous. She had no idea why though. But she'd definitely done something outrageous. Something she wasn't sure she'd ever get out of her mind. At least what little of it she remembered. But more of the evening kept coming back to her like flashbacks in a movie. But they didn't seem real. They seemed like they'd happened to someone else. But she knew it had really happened and she hated herself a little bit for it.

When she stepped out of the shower, she wiped off the mirror and stared at herself. That's when she noticed the hickeys on her neck. She grabbed her throat and gasped out, horrified by what she saw there.

"Oh my God. How am I going to hide this mess?" she asked herself in the mirror.

She didn't have a turtleneck or anything. All she had were winter scarves. And seeing as how it was July, she doubted she could pull that look off. She figured there was a spell to cover them but she wasn't sure what it was. She wasn't a healer and her knowledge of healing spells was sadly limited. But she had plenty of books lying around that she could look in to find out what to do. She pulled on her bathrobe and went into the living room where her bookshelves were. She pulled down the book she was looking for and flipped through the pages quickly until she found a spell that healed bruises. Perfect. Just what she needed. She ran over to where she'd thrown her purse and opened it up to get her wand out. She couldn't find it. She rooted through the bag and found nothing but all her usual junk, but no wand. She dumped the entire thing out onto the floor and rooted through the mess until she realized it just wasn't there.

"Damn it, Draco Malfoy I'm going to bloody kill you," she muttered under her breath. He had to have taken it out of her purse when she wasn't looking. That was the only explanation. It's not as if she'd taken it out at the bar and waved it around or left it on the table. She hadn't touched it the entire night or on the walk home to her place. And she always kept it in her purse because she never went anywhere without it. This meant if she wanted it back, she had to go back to his place to get it. He'd set it up this way on purpose, she fumed to herself. He was a complete and utter git. She got up and shoved all her crap back into her purse and then she went to get dressed. She put on a t-shirt and jeans and grabbed her old Gryffindor scarf out of the closet and wrapped it around her neck. She realized she looked like a moron, but she didn't care. She grabbed her purse again and headed out the door and back to Draco's place.

She got there and pounded loudly on his door. It took him forever to open it up but he finally did. He was standing there in jeans and an open button up shirt and he had a cigarette in his mouth.

"Back for more already?" he asked with a smirk.

She shoved him back as hard as she could and watched him stumble and lose his cigarette. He stomped it out on the carpet before it caught fire and then he looked up to see one very pissed off witch staring him down.

"Where is my wand?" she demanded angrily.

"How would I know?" he asked innocently. "Nice scarf, by the way. Is it cold outside?"

"Shut up. Just tell me where my wand is."

"Why would I know where it is?"

"Because it was in my bloody purse and now it's gone. You had my purse. So just give it back to me or I swear I will kill you," she hissed at him.

"Kill me? Without a wand? I'd like to see you try that," he said with a grin.

"Stop playing games! I know you have it. And I will throw everything you own out that window until I find it," she informed him.

He walked towards her and pulled on the scarf around her neck.

"Why are you wearing this anyway? Got an attack of school spirit and decided to put it on for old times sake?"

"Stop changing the subject."

He pulled the scarf off and saw the marks he'd left on her neck. He started laughing. "Oh my God. Look what I did to you. Oops. My bad. You look like you've been strangled."

"I wish you'd just strangle me then I wouldn't have to deal with you anymore," she said with an irritated sigh.

"Look, let me fix that up," he said walking into the kitchen and pulling his own wand out of a drawer. He walked over to her and said a spell and he watched as the bruises disappeared from her neck. "Good as new," he told her with a smile.

"Thanks. Now give my own wand before I wrestle you to the ground and grab yours."

"Fine, fine. I'll give it back. I thought you'd miss it a lot sooner than you did. What kind of witch doesn't even keep track of her own wand? Not very smart, if you ask me," he said strolling casually over to a desk where he'd put the wand in one of the drawers.

"I wasn't exactly thinking clearly when I left here. I just wanted to get out of here," she told him as she grabbed her wand out of his hand. "Why did you take this anyway?"

He shrugged. "Because I wanted to give you a reason to come back."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess I kind of liked having you around."

"Well I won't be coming around again. Unless there's something else of mine you'd like to steal?"

"No."

"Well then I'm leaving. And remember, I was never here. Last night didn't happen," she reminded him.

"Right. Never happened."

She looked at him for a moment, then she just turned around and walked out. He watched her go and he felt a pang of sadness for some reason. He didn't really want her to go. He didn't know why. He didn't know what had compelled him to steal her wand in the first place. He just knew he wanted to see her again. He'd been so depressed and lonely for so long that seeing a familiar face had really cheered him up. Even if it was the face of a girl who completely detested him, with rightful reasons. But he meant what he told her before. He didn't hate her anymore. He didn't care where she came from or who her parents were. None of that mattered. And she'd surprised the hell out of him by acting the way she did with him the night before. That wasn't the girl who he thought he knew. Not that he ever actually could claim to have _known_ her. But she certainly wasn't the person he expected. She had always been such a prissy little thing who seemed so perfect. But that wasn't who he met last night. He liked this girl much better. She was much more fun. And he didn't understand why they couldn't keep having that fun together. So what if she said she never wanted to see him again? When did that ever stop him? When he wanted something, he went after it. That's just who he was. And for some reason, he wanted her.

He quickly pulled on his shoes and buttoned up his shirt. He hurried out the door and hoped she hadn't gone too far yet because he wanted to follow her. He wanted to see where she lived. It had to be close by because she'd walked. She hadn't apparated. He ran down the stairs because they were quicker than the lift and he saw her walk out onto the sidewalk in front of his building. He stayed back until she'd crossed the street and then he took off after her, keeping a safe distance away so she didn't see him. He was ducking behind newsstands and lamp posts and felt like he was some sort of spy. But he watched her stop at a street vendor and order a coffee. He stood behind a doorway and kept peeking out to see if she'd moved on yet. She had, so he took off after her. He watched her come to an old red brick building and walk up the steps and enter the building. He waited a moment, then he dashed inside behind her but she was already gone. She'd gotten in the elevator and he didn't know which floor she was on. He'd lost her. But he still knew which building it was. That was something. And it was literally only blocks away from his place and the seedy little bar they'd met at. It wouldn't be so strange for them to run into each other again. At least not if he staked out her building and just happened to run into her. He'd turned into a crazy stalker, he realized. This was stupid of him. What was he doing? He needed to just leave her alone. She hated him. She made that quite clear. But then why did she sleep with him? That was the million dollar question that he couldn't get out of his mind. Obviously she was attracted to him even if she tried to pretend she wasn't. But was he attracted to her? He must be or else he wouldn't be following her home like a stray puppy. She had gotten under his skin somehow. More so than usual. He liked tormenting her, which he knew made him a total git, but it was so much fun. It always had been fun. But now the game had changed a bit. Or rather a lot. She might have wanted to pretend last night never happened, but he wasn't going to let her.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

He staked out her apartment building for three days and she never went outside. Not unless she was leaving in the middle of the night. But then he realized she was probably going to work using the Floo Network. That's why she'd never come outside. He felt slightly defeated and also annoyed because he wasted three days loitering around and actually had people throw money at him thinking he was homeless and begging on the streets. If only they knew how much money he did have. But he was tired of giving off the impression of a penniless beggar on the streets. It was a pointless endeavor. He didn't know why he was even bothering at all. But just when he was about to give up and go to the bar, luck was on his side. She came walking out of the building and down the steps. He quickly hid behind a parked car and watched her walk right past him. Once she was far enough ahead, he stood up and walked after her, curious to where she was going. He just hoped she didn't duck into an alley and apparate away from him. But he watched her go into a liquor store and he smiled. She was apparently ready to get her drink on again, but wouldn't risk going back to the same bar. She was likely going to get something and take it back to her flat where she could sulk and drown her sorrows in peace. But not if he had anything to say about it. He walked into the liquor store and spied her on the wine aisle. He ducked behind a display of vodka and just watched her perusing her selections.

She picked up a large bottle and examined it. He went over to another aisle and picked up a bottle of his favorite whiskey so he could pretend it was just a chance encounter. He watched her take her bottle and head up to the front of the store and he rushed over to accidentally run into her.

"Drinking wine tonight, Granger?" he asked casually as he came up behind her.

She whirled around and clutched the bottle to her chest.

"What are you doing here?" she asked completely caught off guard.

He held up his whiskey. "Just popping in to pick up a little medicine."

"Well good for you. Enjoy it," she said as she turned around and attempted to walk away from him.

He followed after her. "That's a pretty big bottle. Are you having company over?" he asked curiously.

She turned and looked at him again with annoyance. "No, this is all for me. It tastes much better than that lighter fluid you drink."

"It's not lighter fluid. It's good stuff.

"Well I think it tastes like shit," she said turning away from him again.

"I've never tried that wine before. Is it good?"

"Yes it's good," she said not turning around this time.

"Can I join you then? Surely you don't want to drink all of that by yourself? No telling what you might do if you get that much drink in you again," he said to her slyly.

She faced him once more. "Look Draco, I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but stop it. I don't want to share my wine with you. Or anything else with you. I just want to be alone."

"But being alone is so lonely. Wouldn't you rather have company?" he said somewhat desperately. He knew he was making a fool of himself but he didn't care. He was tenacious.

"Just because you're lonely when you're alone, doesn't mean I am."

"You said you were lonely the other night at the bar," he pointed out.

"Well I'm not lonely now. I'm fine."

"I'll buy that for you if you let me have a taste of it," he offered.

She laughed. "Buy it for me? It's only seven pounds. That's not much of a bribe. Not when you've got millions stashed away somewhere."

"Then go pick out an expensive bottle and I'll buy that for you instead," he told her with exasperation.

She eyed him warily. What on earth was his deal? Why did he want to spend time with her? He was crazy to think she'd ever get that drunk again and invite him into her bed.

"What are you doing? If you think you'll get me drunk again and we'll fall into bed again, you're insane."

"We didn't actually fall into bed. It was mostly the couch and the floor," he pointed out.

"Whatever. You know what I mean. If that's what you think will happen, you're living in a dream world."

"Nothing has to happen. In fact, I expressly remember telling you I wasn't going to do anything with you and the next thing I knew you were all over me."

"Call it temporary insanity. I've gotten you out of my system now and I'm over it," she told him seriously.

"Over it huh? Alright. So then what's the harm in inviting me over to help you drink your wine?"

"What has gotten into you? Seriously Draco, you're acting bizarre. Do you not remember that we loathed each other all throughout school? You wouldn't even deem to allow me to walk near you without hurling an insult and now you want to be my drinking buddy? Are you mental? Did your dad hit you over the head with his cane one too many times and give you brain damage?"

"I'm not fucking brain damaged. I just know that when I was with you, life didn't feel so bleak anymore. I guess I just wanted to see if that's because I was really drunk or if it was _you_ that made me feel that way," he told her honestly.

She just stared at him and didn't know what to say to him. He looked kind of pathetic and was acting completely different than she'd ever seen him act. It was unsettling and she didn't trust him. But she finally relented against her better judgment. Mostly because she was just curious what his deal really was.

"Fine. Buy me a bottle of something really expensive and good and I'll let you share it with me," she told him with a small smirk.

"Something really expensive huh? Okay. Let's go peruse the selections, shall we?" He offered her his arm and she just shook her head and quickly grabbed it. She didn't know why she was doing this.

"How about this bottle?" she asked holding up one in front of him.

"How much is it?"

"Three hundred."

"Three hundred? It's fucking small for three hundred. I'd need four of these bottles to get a buzz," he complained.

"That's because you're used to drinking that God awful whiskey crap. But if you need four bottles, then by all means, please do buy four of them," she said with an amused grin.

"You expect me to pay twelve hundred for some fucking wine? What is it made of anyway? Gold?"

"I'm pretty sure they make it with grapes."

"Right, grapes that the queen must have knighted herself or something."

"I thought you had plenty of money?" she asked him.

"I do. But for this price do you know how many smokes and bottles of whiskey I could buy?"

"So then don't buy it. I'm perfectly happy with my cheap bottle. And you can run along home and drink whatever you have in your hand."

"No, I said I'd buy you the good stuff and I will. But let's be honest here. This is the most expensive non date I've ever been on and I'm not even getting laid after it. Maybe I am brain damaged?"

"That would explain a lot," she smiled at him.

He just sighed and grabbed the bottles off the shelf and handed two of them to her and he took the other two along with his whiskey. They walked back up to the front of the store and they put the items down on the counter. The man looked at them curiously.

"Big party planned? This is some expensive wine," the man said shaking his head.

"No, not a party unfortunately. It's just that this little lady here has expensive taste apparently," Draco explained.

"I think I'm worth it," Hermione smiled.

"I'm sure you are," the man smiled back at her. "That will be twelve hundred and twenty six pounds."

Draco fumbled in his pants for his wallet and Hermione leaned over and asked him softly, "Do you carry that much Muggle cash on you normally?"

He whipped out a credit card and plunked it down on the counter. He looked at her. "Nope, I use plastic. It's much more convenient."

"I didn't even know you knew about credit cards."

"I'm not daft. How do you think I've been surviving out here all this time? I do know how Muggles operate."

"What's a Muggle?" the man asked, handing the credit slip over to be signed.

"Uh, it's nothing. It's just a slang term for something," Draco said quickly, not realizing he was talking so loudly.

The man just shrugged and put the items in a big bag for them and handed it over. Draco lifted it up and carefully carried it out so that the bottles didn't break clanging up against each other.

"Back to your place then?" he asked her with a satisfied smile.

"I guess so," she sighed realizing she was probably making another huge mistake by inviting him to her place. But she would not get drunk this time. No way. She wasn't drinking four bottles of wine. That was his idea. She was going to stay sane this time.

He started walking back towards where she lived and she looked over at him. "How do you know what direction to go in?"

"I, uh, sort of followed you home the other day," he admitted sheepishly.

"You followed me?"

"Yes."

"You really are crazy and kind of creepy, you know that right?" she asked him, giving him a look.

"I do believe you are correct there. Now just shut up and let's go to your place before I drop this bloody bag and break everything," he muttered feeling like a fool for his behavior.

They made it to her building and they walked up the steps and inside. She pushed the elevator button and they waited there silently until it came. They stepped inside and she pushed the number four. Once the doors opened, he followed her down a long hallway and she was the last door at the end. She opened it up and let him follow her inside.

"Where do you want me to put this shit?" he asked her, feeling the weight of the bag straining his arm.

"Anywhere I guess. The kitchen is right over there," she told him as she tossed off her shoes and threw her purse down on the floor.

He walked into the kitchen and put the bag down. He set all the bottles on the counter and he looked around curiously. The place was tidy and well kept, unlike his own flat. It almost didn't even looked lived in except that there were photos around and plants and he noticed an orange cat sleeping in an armchair.

"That your cat?" he asked curiously, trying to make conversation.

"No, it's somebody else's," she said sarcastically. "Of course it's mine, you halfwit."

"Hey now, who pissed in your cereal bowl? I just spent a bloody fortune on wine for you and you're calling me names already?" he said defensively.

"Well it was a stupid question."

"You didn't have to be such a bitch about it."

"I'm not a bitch."

"Really? I've met Death Eaters who are nicer than you are," he muttered.

"Maybe they were nice to you because you were one of them?" she shot back.

"Whatever. Do you want me to open up one of these bottles, or what?" he asked not wanting to argue or discuss his past.

"Yes, please do open one. I need a drink."

She plopped down on the couch and put her feet up on it.

He opened up her drawers looking for a corkscrew but he couldn't find anything. So he just took out his wand and used magic to open it. It was much easier that way.

"You want a glass or you want the bottle?" he asked.

"A glass. I'm not chugging it out of the bottle with you like last time."

"Where do you keep glasses?"

"Over the stove."

He reached up to the cupboard and got her down a glass. Then he poured it for her and took the bottle with him. He had no need of a glass. He walked to the couch and handed her the glass and he proceeded to take a big chug out of the bottle.

"You're drinking it from the bottle? I have more than one glass. That's gross," she complained.

"Gross? You've kissed me. And you had your mouth somewhere much more interesting than that. So don't get all delicate and dainty on me now," he told her.

"Do you really have to bring that up? I just want to erase the entire night from my brain. I don't even want to think about where my mouth was," she said making a yucky face.

"You seemed to enjoy it at the time."

"Yeah well I was completely hammered. It doesn't count," she protested.

He just stood there and looked at her for a moment. She was sprawled on the couch and the only chair had her cat in it. There was no place to sit down. So he just sat down on the floor beside her.

"I think you're just embarrassed to admit how much you wanted me that night. The drink is just an excuse. Girls love using that as an excuse for everything. They do something supposedly bad and suddenly it's 'the drink made me do it!' when really it's just what they wanted all along and were too ashamed to admit."

"Really now? So you have me all figured out then?"

"You're not that hard to figure out. Good girl wants to be bad but doesn't want to take responsibility for her actions. So she just blames the alcohol. It's not like you're the first girl to do it," he explained.

She hated to admit he was actually right. She had wanted him. She just didn't know why. Sure, he was handsome and sexy but so were a lot of other men who she didn't actually hate with a fiery passion. What would have possessed her to want _him_ of all people? She couldn't figure it out and didn't want to.

"Let's just stop talking about the other night, shall we? I don't want to relive the nightmare," she told him finally.

"The nightmare? Is that what you're calling it?"

"Yes."

He put the bottle of wine on the coffee table and leaned up to her and got in her face.

"If it was such a nightmare then why did you come so many times?" he whispered with a sly smirk.

She shoved him back away from her.

"I faked it."

"Oh please. You did not. I know when someone is faking it."

"How do you know? Maybe I'm a really good actress?"

"You're exceptional then because you had me fooled. It must have been all the screaming and moaning out my name that confused me."

"Anyone can do that. I could do it right now if I wanted to," she protested.

"Give it up, Granger. We both know the truth. So just get over it and drink your fancy wine."

She wanted to argue more, but she decided against it. He was reading her like a book and she hated it. She hated everything about him. And most of all she hated the way she didn't quite hate him enough to make him leave her apartment. Instead she just sat back and watched him drinking wine out of the bottle and wishing that his lips were on hers again. She tried to shake the thoughts out of her mind but they refused to go. She felt like she might be going crazy or something.

Neither one of them spoke for awhile but he finally looked up at her and noticed her glass was almost empty. He refilled it for her and then turned around and just stared at her sleeping cat some more while they drank in silence. He couldn't stand the quiet any longer.

"You know, your cat is really ugly. What's wrong with his face? Did you hit it with a frying pan?" he asked her.

"No, I did not. That's just how he looks. I think he's cute."

"Cute eh? What's it's name?"

"Crookshanks."

"Crookshanks? What kind of name is that?" 

"I like it. It suits him."

"Does he bite?"

"He might. If he doesn't like you anyway. He's a very good judge of character so you might not want to pet him," she warned him.

"You think he won't like me? Well let's see about that," he said getting up and walking over to the cat. He bent down and scratched his head between his ears. Crookshanks opened his sleepy eyes and stared at Draco. Draco smiled and held out his hand for the cat to sniff and Crookshanks just sniffed him and licked his hand and then went back to sleep. "See that? He likes me."

"He must be broken or something," she shrugged.

"I think he just sees the real me."

"Who is the real you, Draco?" she wondered curiously.

"That's a good question. I haven't a clue right now, to be honest."

He fished in his pocket for his cigarettes and pulled them out.

"No, no way. You are not smoking those in here," she sat up and protested.

He sighed. "Why not?"

"Because they stink."

"Fine I'll go out on the fire escape."

"The fire escape? Why not just stop smoking?" she asked.

"Because I don't want to stop. What are you? My bloody mum?"

"No I'm not your mum. But if she knew you were smoking those she'd probably murder you."

He laughed. "You're probably right. Good thing she has no idea where I am."

He went over and opened her window and climbed out onto the fire escape. It was just a small space, barely enough room to stand in, and it was rather rickety. He hoped he wouldn't fall to his death out there. But he lit up and sat down on the windowsill.

"I can still smell the smoke. Close the window," she told him.

"Oh come on. I'm half outside. Isn't that good enough?"

"No."

"Fine."

He climbed out the window again and stood there and shut it behind him. He took a long drag on the cigarette and blew the smoke out in little rings, amusing himself. He didn't really know why he started smoking these things except someone gave him one at a bar and he liked it. So he kept it up. Plus anything that was self destructive seemed appealing to him right now. Including this little business with Granger. He knew she didn't like him, but he pursued her anyway. It was almost like he got off on the rejection, he realized. Then he remembered a lyric from a song he'd heard once. It said, 'rejection is the greatest aphrodisiac'. That's kind of how this was. Plus some part of him refused to believe she actually hated him. You don't do the things she did with a person you hate. Maybe she was indifferent, but it wasn't hatred she felt. He was sure of that much. The lady doth protest too much, he thought. He finished his cigarette and tossed it over the railing and watched it sail down the four floors until it hit the ground and sparks flew up as it rolled into a gutter. Then he turned around and opened up the window again and climbed inside. Hermione had turned on music and had also refilled her glass from the bottle he'd left on the table. She was lost in her own mind and he startled her when he sat back down on the floor next to her.

"Your clothes smell bad now," she told him offhandedly.

"So spray me with air freshener or something."

She looked at him for a moment then she got up off the couch and disappeared down the hallway. He watched after her, looking puzzled. She came back out with her hand behind her back and then she walked over to him and suddenly sprayed him with a can of cinnamon scented air freshener. He jumped up and started waving his hands in front of his face.

"Bloody hell! You got that shit in my eyes. What are you doing?"

"You said to spray you with air freshener."

"I wasn't being serious!" he exclaimed grabbing the can out of her hand. He turned it on her and sprayed her. She screamed out and began to run away from him but he caught her quickly and whirled her around.

"Don't spray me again! That's awful!" she shouted through her laughter.

"Now we both smell like a cinnamon roll," he smirked at her.

She grabbed the can back forcefully. "Give me that."

"If you spray me again I'm tackling you to the floor and throwing that thing out the window," he warned her.

"I'm not gonna spray you again. Promise." She put the can on the kitchen counter and sat back down on the couch, but this time he sat next to her. He grabbed the wine bottle and chugged it while he thought of something interesting to say, but he was coming up empty. Finally it was her that spoke.

"So tell me, your parents really don't know where you are?" she asked him curiously.

He shook his head. "They have no idea. They wouldn't exactly approve of the life I've been leading lately. Especially with all the Muggles around me. I blend in pretty good, don't you think?"

"Yeah, you blend. I would never know you weren't a Muggle. But don't you care that your parents are probably worried about you?"

He laughed somewhat bitterly. "Worried about me? I don't really care. They tried to act like nothing happened after the hearings were over and they let us go. My father just expected me to be the same person I always was. He even talked about me finishing school. As if I wanted to go back there. I couldn't take it. And my mother was constantly hovering over me trying to make sure I was alright. It drove me crazy, so I just left."

"Did you even tell them you were going?"

"No. I just packed a bag one day and I left. I had no idea where I was even going at first. I just knew that they wanted me to be something I couldn't be anymore. I had to go."

"What did they want you to be exactly?"

"They wanted me to be a proper high society gentleman and resume our snobbish ways and act like the last year and half didn't occur. But I was different. I was depressed and broken inside. They couldn't seem to understand that. That I didn't want to live by their stupid standards anymore because I didn't believe in them. Plus I blamed my father for getting us into such a mess. It was his fault. But he refused to take responsibility for his role in what happened. I was just told we weren't supposed to talk about it anymore."

"Maybe in their own way, they thought that would help? You know, just forget about the bad stuff and move on? I know that's what I tried to do," she told him quietly.

"Yeah, well I couldn't just move on from it. I know you hated me back in school and I deserved your hatred. I was a total bastard to you and your friends. I don't expect you to feel sorry for me or anything. But you have no idea the hell I went through. The things I was forced to do. I watched people die, and I don't mean in the battle. I mean in my own fucking house right in front of me. I watched Voldemort kill a woman and feed her to his fucking snake. And all I could do was just sit there and watch. I was utterly helpless. How do you forget something like that?" he asked as he felt tears forming in his eyes that he really did not want her to see.

"That's horrible, Draco. I-I don't even know what to say," she admitted quietly.

"And that doesn't even include the things he made me do myself. Torturing people. Trying to kill Dumbledore. What was I supposed to do? I had to do what he said or else he'd kill me and my family," he said despondently as the tears he was holding back rolled out of his eyes and down his cheeks. He wiped them away quickly and chugged more wine, hoping to chase the demons away.

Hermione felt sorry for him. More than she realized she could. But something about the way he spoke just broke her heart. He wasn't the boy who used to taunt her and make slurs about her heritage. He was a very lost and broken man. She reached out and touched his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for what you went through. I didn't know. I thought I had it bad," she said softly.

"I'm sure it was bad for you too. Believe me. I'm not saying I'm the only one who's scarred by what happened. I know you lost people you cared for."

"I did. I lost several people. And I lost my parents too," she admitted feeling her own eyes prick with tears.

He turned to face her. "You lost your parents? Voldemort killed them?" he was aghast and in shock because he'd not heard about such a thing happening.

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't Voldemort. It was actually me. I didn't kill them, but I obliviated them and sent them away. I-I thought they'd be safer that way. But I didn't know I wouldn't be able to get them back. They're gone now. They don't know me anymore."

"You obliviated them?"

"Yes."

"You could have just sent them away somewhere and not gone so far as obliterating their memories. Why did you feel that was necessary?" he wondered.

"I thought it was better if they didn't know who I was so they would be safer. And also, in case I never came back again I didn't want them to suffer my loss," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry that they're gone now. I had no idea. Were you close to them?"

She shrugged. "I loved them. And they loved me. But the last time I saw them they were scared of me and angry and just wanted me to leave them alone. They didn't believe my story, of course, because who would? They were Muggles. They thought I was off my rocker and accused me of kidnapping them when I tried to have the healers work on them. They wanted to call the police on me."

"That's really rough. So I guess we're both a little parent-less right now."

"Yeah, except your parents still love you and probably want you back. Mine don't even know who I am. You still have the option of going back to them," she pointed out.

"I suppose so. But I'm not sure I'll ever want to go back to them.

"Never say never."

"You want more wine? This bottle is done for," he said shaking it to show her it was empty.

"Sure. Open another bottle."

He did as instructed and came over to pour more wine for her and he took the bottle for himself again. He looked at her curiously.

"So tell me the truth. You're with me now because you know that no one else would approve of it right?"

"Why would that be the reason?" she asked him shaking her head.

"Because I suspect you're tired of always doing what's expected of you. You have these people around you that only see you a certain way and it's a lot to live up to. You're tired of it because you don't feel like they really know you," he explained.

She didn't know what to say to him at first. He was right. At least on some level, she wanted to rebel against her former self and be something else. After the war she had immediately started working for the Ministry alongside Harry and Ron. She and Ron began their romantic relationship and it was disastrous, which was something she wasn't expecting. She thought they were suited to one another and had known each other since they were kids, but something about adding the romance in ruined it. He was controlling and needy and she was independent and bossy. They clashed all the time over every little thing. She had tried to be what he wanted and needed but she just was too distant inside to really feel much of anything. She had put up walls with him and with everyone else and no one could really break through them. She didn't blame Ron for the break up, she blamed herself. Even though some of his behaviors certainly left a lot to be desired, she knew that she was the ultimate destructor. And now she was free and just wanted to shed her old skin and be something new. And for some reason she was incredibly drawn to Draco, the man who didn't give a shit about anything anymore. It sounded ridiculous but she almost admired him for his apathy because it matched her own. She just did a better job of hiding it than he did. He wore it like a badge of honor and she dutifully tried to pretend to the world that she was still the same girl she always was. But it wasn't true. She'd never done a single bad thing in her life. She was labeled a hero. But she didn't feel like a hero. In the end, she was just a girl. And she didn't want the responsibility of being a hero because that meant being perfect and dutiful and above reproach. But that was not her. Not anymore. And maybe not ever.

"I don't know why I'm with you, Draco. Part of me feels bad for you and part of me just doesn't care anymore about what other people think. So it's not that I invited you here because people wouldn't approve. I don't need their approval anymore and I don't want it," she told him finally.

"You feel bad for me? Well don't. I don't need your pity. But if you want to take a ride through my world and see how it is to be on the other side, then by all means take my hand and let me show you," he said with a smirk.

"A ride through your world? And what exactly is your world now? Darkness and despair? Dirty apartments and seedy bars?"

"Something like that. I'm not one of the good guys. I'm the bad guy, remember? Life is different for people like me. We don't have this need to be selfless and heroic. We just want to bloody survive and save our own asses. That's what life really is. Just surviving." 

"Being good is a bit overrated, to be honest. I mean, I always thought I was happy to be a good little girl and do all these great acts of bravery and heroics. I thought I was doing something worthwhile. And I guess I was. But why did it leave me feeling so empty inside?"

"Maybe because the fight is over and there's nothing left to focus on except yourself and who you really are?"

She thought on that for a moment. It made some sense. Ever since she was eleven she'd been embroiled in this fight of good against evil. And now it was over. There was nothing left to fight anymore. Except herself.

"I just want to feel alive again," she whispered softly.

"Did you feel alive with me the other night?" he asked scooting closer to her.

She nodded her head. "Yes. Why is it that being with someone who claims to be dead inside is the only way I feel alive?"

"One of life's little mysteries."

She reached over and put her wine glass on the table and then she looked at Draco who was just watching her every move.

"Kiss me," she told him breathlessly.

"You sure about that, love?" 

"Just do it."

He leaned up and grabbed her shoulders and pulled her down into a kiss. It soon grew heated and very passionate. And this time Hermione was not drunk. Slightly tipsy, yes, but not drunk. She was doing this of her own free will and she knew it. They were all over each other and she had fallen to the floor with him and lie on top of him, greedily kissing him and pulling at his shirt. He stopped kissing her long enough to rip it over his head and throw it away and then he began pulling her shirt off. She let him. And soon they were lost in each other again. And neither one of them wanted to be found. The whole world melted away when they were together like this. Nothing else mattered but the two of them, touching and kissing and grabbing and moaning. Once they were spent, they lay in a heap on the floor breathlessly staring at each other. They had no words at first. But Draco finally spoke up.

"Missed the bed again," he smiled down at her.

She laughed slightly. "I told you I wouldn't fall into bed with you."

"You were right. But the floor works just as well."

She just stared at him for a moment and ran her hands through his messy hair. "What am I doing?" she asked hopelessly.

"Living?" he offered.

"But this is so wrong. I don't even like you," she told him with a sigh.

"Could have fooled me," he said, kissing her shoulder and moving his way to her neck.

She closed her eyes and relished the feel of his lips on her flesh, but then she pushed him back.

"No, we can't keep doing this. It's crazy. _I'm_ crazy. Just get off me, will you?" she said, struggling to get up from underneath him.

"Not this again," he muttered unhappily.

She just ignored him and tried to find her clothes again. He sat there watching her gather items up wordlessly. She picked up his boxers and threw them at him.

"Put these on. You need to get dressed and go home," she told him.

"Why? Why are you throwing me out?"

"Because this is just too weird for me. You have to leave."

She gave up on gathering her clothes and just headed down the hallway and got her bathrobe out of the bathroom. She pulled it on hastily and cursed herself for not having better self control. She didn't know what she was doing. She was intentionally doing something she knew was a mistake and she couldn't seem to stop herself because it felt so good in the moment. But then when it was over, guilt would overtake her. She walked back into the living room and found Draco sitting on her couch in his underwear drinking more wine out of the bottle.

"Why aren't you dressed? Why are you still on my couch? I told you to leave."

"I wasn't finished with this," he said holding up the bottle. "Plus, you don't really want me to go."

"Yes, I do. I want you to. Take the bottle with you. In fact, take all of them with you. Just leave."

"If you want me to leave, you'll have to come over here and make me," he smirked at her.

She gave him a glare. "If that's the way you want it, then fine." She marched over to her purse and pulled out her wand. She aimed it at him. "Get out of here now before I do something you won't like very much."

"Like what? You gonna hurt me?"

"Maybe."

"You aren't going to hurt me. Just put your wand away."

She got irritated and shot a curse at him that blasted him off the couch. He was startled, to say the least, and picked himself up off the ground.

"Bloody hell, woman! What is wrong with you?" he asked angrily.

"I said to get out."

"Fine. As if I want to be here anyway," he said, grabbing up his clothes and his own wand that had fallen out of his pocket when he'd throw his pants across the room. He stood there holding all his stuff and before he could put the clothes back on she grabbed him and shoved him towards the door. "Hold on a second! Let me get dressed!"

She ignored him and just shoved him out her front door and slammed it in his face. He was standing in her hallway holding his clothes and his wand in his hand, just staring at her door.

"What the fuck is wrong with that bitch?" he muttered angrily to himself.

Just then the door to the apartment adjacent to hers opened up and an older woman stepped out into the hallway. She was startled to see him standing there in his underwear with his wand in his hand.

"Oh hello," he said pleasantly trying to act like he wasn't in a ridiculous predicament.

"Uh, hello. Why are you in the hallway in your underwear holding a stick?" she asked, backing away from him slightly.

"Oh this?" he said waving his wand around. "This is my lucky stick. I take it with me everywhere. And I'm undressed because it's rather warm outside tonight."

"Are you a rapist? Are you trying to break into Miss Granger's apartment? I'm going to call the police," she said not believing his story.

"I'm not a fucking rapist. I'm her boyfriend. Well, that's not true because she hates me. But I'm her something. She just threw me out. I haven't had a chance to get dressed. Lover's quarrel. You know how that goes," he explained desperately.

He quickly pulled his pants on and the woman just eyed him suspiciously.

"I've seen her boyfriend before. Ginger fellow, very polite and nice. And you're not him," she told Draco.

"Look lady, they broke up. Get with the program. And why are you so bloody nosy anyway?"

"We look out for each other in this building. And you don't belong here. So hurry up and leave or I am calling the police."

"Get over yourself, you old bat," Draco muttered as he pulled his shirt over his head and suddenly realized she hadn't given him his shoes. "Bloody hell. No shoes."

He didn't know what to do. Should he knock again and ask for them back? He didn't really fancy going barefoot all the way home. And this lady wouldn't stop staring at him. He sighed and knocked on the door loudly.

"Open up! I need my fucking shoes!" he shouted at Hermione.

He waited a beat and then suddenly the door flew open and his shoes were thrown in his face before the door slammed shut again. He sighed and put them on and then he just strolled past the nosy lady and gave her a dirty look.

"I've got my eye on you!" she called out.

"Don't worry, I won't be coming back. Stupid bint and her fucked up head games. I'm over it," he muttered as he kept walking and got into the elevator and disappeared out of her building. He realized that Hermione was way more of a head case than he even was. And that was saying something. He just wished he could get her out of his head. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her face now. It was like she was an obsession. But he was sick of her running hot and cold. Pulling him in and then immediately pushing him away. It was ridiculous. She had kissed him tonight and she couldn't claim she was drunk. She had wanted him just as much as he wanted her and now she was blasting him with curses and throwing him into the hallway with no clothes on? Fuck her, Draco thought. There were lots of other girls out there that he could get with if he felt the need for a release. And they didn't come with all the head games. It was simple. You fucked and then you moved on and went home. Why he was trying to make this out to be more, he had no idea. He just thought it was different. That she was different. That she was looking for something he could give her, but the truth was, she was just mental. He didn't even know why he was wasting his time thinking about it anymore, but he couldn't stop himself. But either way he decided to leave her alone. If she wanted him, she could come to him. He was done stalking her around. And the sad thing was, he'd left his brand new bottle of whiskey there. He'd have to buy a new one after he'd just spent a small fortune on wine just to be in the honor of her company. What was he thinking? He could have just paid a hooker fifty pounds for a blow job and then gone home happy and not mentally damaged by the encounter. He hated girls. They were nothing but trouble, he decided. He headed off to the liquor store once more, and then he was going to go home and get wasted and forget he ever laid eyes on Hermione Granger.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

A week went by and he didn't see her around at all which was no big surprise. They'd apparently lived in the same neighborhood for over a year and had never crossed paths until that night at the bar. It was clear she spent most of her time working or elsewhere and not stalking the city streets or hanging out in seedy dive bars. And that was perfectly fine with him. He was completely over her. Or at least that's what he told himself every time he caught his thoughts wandering to her and remembering what it felt like to have her underneath him. The cure for those thoughts was to drink more. And so he did. He was sitting in his flat drinking his life away when there was a knock on his door. He had no idea who the hell it would be since no one knew where he lived and he had no friends. He got up warily and looked through the peephole. It was Hermione. She was standing there wearing a raincoat for some reason. It wasn't raining and it certainly wasn't cold outside. It was actually unseasonably warm. They'd been having a heat wave. He contemplated not answering but his curiosity got the better of him. He opened up the door and just stared at her. She was in a raincoat and high heels and her legs were bare. By the glassy look in her eyes he could tell she was three sheets to the wind and probably had no idea she was dressed like a loon and standing in his doorway.

"What the hell do you want?" he asked her with a glare.

"I don't know. I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by," she slurred with a smile on her face.

"Stop by? In a fucking raincoat? It's not even cloudy outside."

She stepped forward and stumbled a little over her shoes, which she wasn't used to wearing. She pushed him back into his apartment and shut the door behind her.

"I am feeling rather warm in this coat. Maybe you want to take it off me?" she asked drunkenly.

"What kind of game is this? Just get out of my flat and take your bloody coat with you."

"Oh come on Draco. Aren't you curious what I have on under here?" she asked with a sly smile.

"Not really."

"She started to undo the tie at her waist and he reached out and stopped her.

"Don't take it off. You're not staying. You don't like me, remember? So get bent. Also, you're drunk," he told her, trying to shove her towards the door.

"You're drunk too. I can tell. You smell like a whiskey bottle laced with cigarettes. Do you know every time I smell a cigarette now I think of you?" she asked him.

"Really? That's touching. Now get out."

She walked towards him and pushed him back down onto his couch. She undid the raincoat and let it fall to the floor. And underneath it she was wearing nothing but some sexy red lace underwear. He was utterly speechless. All the blood rushed out of his head and into his pants.

"Oh my God," he muttered, staring at her. "What the hell are you trying to do to me? Torture me?"

"No. Do you like my outfit?" she asked leaning over towards him and he could smell the drink on her breath.

He grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her down to him.

"Stop playing games with me. I don't like it. You come here dressed like that and you expect me to just forget that the last time we were together you blasted me off your couch and sent me packing in my fucking underwear? Do you think I'm an idiot? I don't want you, so just put your fucking coat back on and get out of here," he hissed at her angrily and shoved her away from him.

She stood there for a moment and didn't know what to say. She had gotten very drunk at her apartment and for some reason it seemed the thing to do to come looking for him for a bit of fun. She may have thrown him out before, but she never stopped thinking about him. She couldn't. It was like he lived inside her head now. But she knew she'd treated him badly before and she had no excuse. She just thought he wouldn't care. She figured he was a man and if she showed up in her underwear, all would be forgiven. But apparently she was mistaken. She felt like a complete fool and was suddenly incredibly embarrassed. She picked up her coat and pulled it on hastily. She felt tears forming behind her eyes at his rejection.

"Are you bloody crying, Granger?" he asked her with a sigh.

She wiped at her eyes. "No, I'm not. Just forget it."

"You _are_ crying. Perfect. I made you fucking cry. I've never been able to do that," he muttered.

"I'm not crying!" she protested but the tears were running down her face proving that she was lying.

He sighed loudly and got up and put his arm around her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you," he told her softly.

"No, no, you had every right. I don't even know what I was thinking coming here. Especially like this," she said indicating her clothes challenged outfit.

"It was a nice sight, believe me. Don't think it had no effect on me because it did. But I'm sick of being used like a sex toy that you just shove under the bed again once you've gotten off," he told her seriously.

"That's not what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing, honestly." She sat herself down on his couch and held her head in her hands. "I didn't think you cared one way or the other what I did," she admitted.

"I'm still fucking human. I have feelings."

"I thought you'd be happy to have sex and then just forget all about it afterwards. Isn't that what most guys want?"

He shrugged. "Sure, sometimes. But I don't know. I thought we made a connection. I told you stuff I've never told anyone else. Is it so weird for me to actually want you to care a little? I mean, no one else does, but I thought maybe you did," he admitted softly, cursing himself for laying the truth out there when it left him vulnerable.

"You wanted me to care about you?" she asked curiously.

"I dunno. Yeah. I did. I'm not saying it's true love or some such shit as that. But I'm a fucking person and I deserve a little respect, I think."

"I'm sorry. I was foolish. Have you ever been in love before?" she asked.

"Me? In love? No. There's never been anyone I've been able to stand long enough to fall in love with them."

"I was in love once. But I screwed it all up. I pushed him away too and I think maybe I'm just not capable of caring about anyone right now."

He smoothed the hair out of her face and looked at her.

"I don't believe that. I think right now you're just going through a rough time. But it's not like you're a lost cause or anything. Me, on the other hand, I think I may be too far gone to save."

"Rubbish. I don't think so. I think right now you're just hell bent on self destructing."

"Yeah, maybe I am. But maybe I keep hoping for a reason not to."

"I should leave. I've made an utter fool of myself and I should just go," she said avoiding what he'd just said. She couldn't give him a reason not to self destruct. She couldn't even find her own reason to halt her own self destruction right now.

"You don't have to leave. But you might want some real clothes. I could give you something to put on," he told her.

"I don't know. It might be better if I just went home and slept it off. I'm pretty wasted," she admitted.

"Well so am I, so we can keep each other company," he smiled.

Then he got up and walked down the hallway and disappeared into his room. He grabbed a t-shirt off a hanger and rooted in a drawer for some drawstring pajama pants he never wore. He came back out into the living room and tossed them to her.

"Here, put these on. The pants are a little big I think, but they have a string."

"Thanks," she muttered as she took off the raincoat and pulled the clothing on quickly. She settled back down on the couch and tucked her feet underneath her. "So what were you doing before I got here?"

"Nothing. Just sitting here and thinking and drinking. What were you doing before you got the bright idea to come here half naked in a raincoat?"

"Pretty much the same thing you were doing. Then I got lonely. So I came here. I figured you'd be more welcoming than you were," she admitted.

He laughed. "Not many men will pass up a drunk girl in their lacy underwear throwing themselves at you, but I didn't want to be that guy tonight. That's not what you really need."

"What do I really need then?"

He scooted over closer to her and put his arm around her. He pulled her close to him and he kissed the top of her head. "You need a friend. And since there's no one else around, you can pretend I'm your friend," he told her sincerely.

"Pretend you're my friend?"

"Yes. I know it's a stretch, but just give it a go."

"Okay. Well as my friend you'll need to listen to me talk and mope and complain. And you should be comforting and supportive, even if I'm totally out of line and insane. That's what friends do," she explained to him.

"Got it. I think I can do that. So what do you want to talk about?"

"I dunno. I've got boy trouble."

"Boy trouble?"

"Yep. It seems as though my ex has already moved on. He's found some other tramp to be with. I've been replaced," she said miserably.

"I see. Replaced already? How long has it been?"

"Not even two months yet! He just forgot all about me and is now shagging some bint named Sarah. She's tall and blonde and has boobs. I don't have boobs!"

He laughed slightly. "Sure you do. You've got nice boobs. I enjoyed them."

"You're biased." 

"No I'm not. They were quite wonderful. Perky. What's not to love?"

"Fine my boobs are acceptable, but she's got big ones. Probably fake. But he doesn't seem to care. I saw them together at work. Stupid bimbo."

"I thought _you_ broke up with _him_?"

"I did. Sort of. It was kind of mutual. We just didn't work together. But you still think he'd wait longer to move on to someone else."

"You didn't. You were with me before he was with her. So what's the big deal?" he asked curiously.

"See, you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to agree with me even when I'm being crazy. Remember?"

"Sorry, I forgot. You want me to pay a visit to the Weasel and hex his bits off for you? I could do it happily. I never did like that git."

"No I don't want you to do that. I still care about him. Which is the stupid part," she lamented.

"Are you still in love with him?"

"No. Not _in_ love, but I do love him. It's complicated. I just never thought he'd get over me so fast."

"Well maybe she's just a bit of cold comfort like you got from me? Maybe it doesn't mean anything?" he offered.

"Maybe? I didn't exactly go up to him and ask after I saw them snogging in a hallway when they thought no one was looking. I ran the other way before they saw me."

"So that's why you came here tonight in nothing but your knickers and a raincoat? Because you wanted to get back at your ex for moving on?"

She shrugged. "Sort of. I don't know. I mean, if he's shagging some bimbo, then I want to do it too."

"Hey now, I'm not a bimbo. I'm a man," he reminded her. "Unless you'd like to explore other options on the other side of the team?"

She smacked his chest and laughed. "Be quiet, stupid! I'm not going to switch teams and shag a bimbo. You know what I meant. I just wanted someone too."

"Well I'm flattered that you chose me to use in order to make yourself feel better," he said dryly.

"It would have worked. I mean if Ron knew I shagged you of all people, he'd have a fucking coronary. It would be tragically hilarious to see his reaction," she said somewhat dreamily.

"You want me to come to work with you and feel you up and make out with you in front of his office? Because as your friend, I would stoop that low for you."

She thought about it for a moment then she shook her head. "No. I couldn't do that. Someone else might see. And that can't happen."

"Right. We wouldn't want to ruin your stellar reputation."

"Nobody even knows I've seen you again. I haven't said a word."

"Ashamed of me, I assume?" he asked somewhat sadly.

"No, not ashamed of you. It's just who would understand? I don't even understand. And I know you don't understand."

"No you're right. I don't understand. I have no idea what possesses me to want to spend time with you. And I'm even more clueless as to why you keep throwing yourself at me when you say you don't even like me," he shook his head.

"Just go with it. Don't question it. I might not like you, but I like being with you. You make me feel alive," she said looking into his eyes.

"I don't know how that's possible," he told her.

"Me neither. But you, Draco, are my guilty pleasure. And you're so cute. I never thought you were cute before, but you are. So cute," she said putting both her hands on his face and smooshing his cheeks together.

He pulled her hands away from his face. "Stop squishing me. You are so wasted. You don't even know what you're talking about," he laughed at her.

"No I do. I really do. You're cute and I like looking at you."

"Well thank you. I like looking at you too, Granger. You're not half bad to lay eyes on," he told her honestly.

"Really? You mean that? I never felt pretty before. I always just thought I was average. Or maybe even below average. My hair is unruly and stupid and I'm not curvy enough. And my teeth are too big. I'm a mess," she said unhappily.

"Stop it. That's completely untrue. You are rather beautiful to me," he assured her.

"You're just saying that."

"Why would I just say that if I didn't mean it?"

"Because you're pretending to be my friend right now."

"Bollocks. I shagged you senseless, twice. And I don't fancy myself with an ugly bint. I have my pride. I'd never be with anything less than an eight or a nine."

"An eight or a nine? You number girls?"

"Sure. All guys do. It's a thing. Now back in school we used to number all the girls and pick which ones were worth going after," he explained to her.

"That's horrible. Men are stupid."

"We're not stupid, love. We're just choosy. Who wants to be with someone that isn't attractive? I never saw you with any guy that was ugly in school either."

"You have a point I guess. But I doubt I made your stupid list in school," she told him.

"Maybe not on the official list, but that's just because we hated each other. It didn't matter what you looked like," he told her.

"Well if I had a list you wouldn't have been on mine either. You looked like a pompous dolt with your hair all slicked back like you used to wear it. People used to say that Snape had greasy hair, but yours was glued to your head."

"It wasn't _greasy_, it was gel. I washed my hair. Snape probably ran from shampoo."

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. "Shampoo was his boggart."

"You might be right about that," he laughed back.

"No in all seriousness I think his boggart was something much worse and more personal," she admitted.

"How would you know what his boggart would be?"

"Harry told me some stuff. Stuff that wasn't in the papers after the war. It was personal."

"Snape shared personal things with Harry? He hated Harry."

"He didn't really. You know that he was actually good right?"

"Yeah, I knew that. At least afterwards I read about it."

"Well he was in love with Harry's mum. So I'd imagine his boggart would be seeing her die," she explained.

"He loved Harry's mum? That's weird. I didn't even know they knew each other."

"I didn't either. But I guess it was true. Opposites attract sometimes. But she never forgave him for joining the Death Eaters."

"Yeah, most nice girls don't forgive you for that," Draco said softly as he looked down at his own Dark Mark staring him in the face.

Hermione sensed his eyes travel to his arm and she reached out and took it and held it in front of her.

"I know you didn't want to get this. You were forced to. There's nothing to forgive," she said softly tracing the pattern of the mark on his arm.

He pulled his arm back, uneasy with her affectionate touching of it and her words. How did she know he wanted forgiveness?

"I wasn't asking for forgiveness," he protested.

"No, you weren't. But you still want it. And you don't have to worry because it's forgiven," she whispered softly.

"Why would you forgive me for having this?"

"Because I know it's not really who you are and that it never was. Snape had one of these on his arm too. But he was a good man. He changed. He might have been a totally dreadful personality, but he was still good hearted. He risked everything for the greater good. So in essence the mark is meaningless unless you want to make it mean something bad."

"I don't want it to mean anything. I wish I could get rid of it, but dark magic doesn't go away. But I have thought of getting other tattoos so it's not so bloody obvious on my arm. I could get lots of tattoos and cover it up," he said thoughtfully.

"I can't see you with a bunch of tattoos," she told him.

"I dunno. My parents would hate it, which makes it more appealing. If I came home looking like Muggle street trash they'd have a fit."

"People with tattoos aren't street trash," she scolded him.

"Well in my parents eyes, they are. I don't think so. I could care less. But if they could see this flat I'm in they'd flip out. It's not up to Malfoy standards. And my smoking? I shudder to even think what my father would do to me."

"I'd have to agree with him on that one. Smoking is unappealing. Kissing you after you smoke is like licking an ashtray," she told him.

"You don't like my kisses?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Not when you've just smoked. But mostly you taste like liquor and bad decisions."

"Thanks a lot. Liquor and bad decisions? Bad decisions have a taste?" he said sarcastically.

"Yeah, it's a little chalky."

"Yeah, well you taste like wine and tragedy. So take that."

She looked at him. "Wine and tragedy? What exactly does tragedy taste like?"

He thought for a moment then he shrugged. "It's a little like a pepper flavored Every Flavor Bean."

"I do not taste like that."

"Well I don't taste chalky," he protested. He grabbed her face and kissed her roughly and then he let go and smirked at her. "See? Not chalky."

She wiped her mouth and glared at him. "Now you just taste like whiskey and salt. Were you eating crisps earlier?"

He laughed slightly. "Yes, I was."

"I thought so."

"But don't tell me that kiss was unpleasant."

"No, it was pleasant. Sort of. But I've had better," she shrugged.

"You're hard to please. I can do better. Wait here," he said as he untangled himself from her and got up and went down the hallway. She just watched him go with confusion and then he came back after a minute. Then he plopped down next to her and pulled her close to him.

"You smell all minty now," she told him.

"I brushed my teeth and gargled with mouthwash," he told her with a smile. Then he leaned in and kissed her again. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "So how was that?"

"Hmm, well it was refreshing. A little cold. Like kissing a snowman."

"A snowman? How many snowman have you kissed?"

"Just you."

"You're impossible. You'll never be happy," he said shoving her slightly.

"I'm happy! I'm happy!" she said with a giggle. Then she just stopped for a second and looked at him. Really looked at him and she saw not a broken man, but a kind man. It was completely bizarre. He could have taken advantage of her tonight and he didn't. She invited him to ravish her but instead he just wanted to sit and talk because he knew better than she did, that this is what she needed.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked uncomfortably.

"No reason. Sorry. It's just I realized that I was happy. I mean, actually happy. It was just for a moment, but it was there. And it was because of you," she said with surprise in her voice.

"Mission accomplished then. I wanted you to be happy. One of us should be," he said quietly.

She just looked at him again and then she curled up in his arms and he held her tightly. They didn't say another word to each other. She just wanted him to hold her. And he did. And they both fell asleep and had pleasant dreams for the first time in a long while.

Hermione woke up and had the worst crick in her neck. She was leaning over and Draco had his arms around her but his legs were stretched out onto the floor and his head was tossed back. He looked about as comfortable as she felt. She stirred and it woke him up.

"Oh God, my neck," he said rubbing it slightly with his eyes all blurry.

"We fell asleep. Why did you let me fall asleep? I need to go home," she complained, trying to disentangle her limbs from his.

"I didn't let you fall asleep, we both just passed out. My fucking head is killing me," he complained.

"I feel like I want to throw up. God, we didn't do anything last night, did we?" she asked.

"No. Don't you remember? I turned you down. Which was no easy feat, believe me."

"That's right. I came here in my bloody underwear and tried to seduce you. Oh God, I'm a total slut."

"Shut up. You are not. You were just drunk off your ass. Nothing happened."

"I know. I remember. You told me to leave and then you decided to pretend to be my friend and listen to me," she recalled.

"It was what you needed, so I gave it to you. It's not a big thing," he shrugged.

"Right. Yeah, it was nothing I guess," she said dismissively, even though what he did actually meant the world to her. But she didn't want to tell him that. "I need to go home. I have to be at work. What time is it?"

He looked over at the clock on the wall. "It's half past nine."

"Shit! I'm supposed to be at work by eight thirty! What the hell am I gonna say?" she said frantically scrambling off the couch.

"Just tell them you overslept. What are they gonna do? Fire you? They bloody love you there. Stop fretting."

She quickly put on her shoes and grabbed her raincoat and then she headed for the door. She opened it and then she stopped for a moment. She turned back around and went over to Draco. She leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you for last night," she told him sincerely.

"Don't mention it. You know where to find me if you wanna talk again," he told her.

"Right. Okay. I have to leave. I'll see you later."

She turned and rushed out the door and out of his building. She felt like crap and considered just calling in sick, but she knew she had a mountain of work to do. It wasn't like her to call in sick. But then again, nothing she'd been doing lately was like her. She was a stranger even to herself. But as she rushed up her steps, she knew she should just go to work and power through the massive hangover she had. Drinking on a work night was a really stupid idea. As was her plan of going to Draco's and seducing him. It had backfired in her face. But it wasn't all for nothing. She had gotten something out of the encounter. Something much more confusing than just a simple comfort shag. He'd actually sat with her and listened to her talk. He didn't take advantage of her crazy mental state and her lack of clothing. In fact, he'd tried to throw her out. He wanted her to care about him and not just use him for sex. It was strange and unsettling and she didn't know what to do with the information. She had been sure he'd give her what she came after, but he refused. What kind of man does that? And he swore it wasn't because she was ugly or unappealing. It was because he wanted more from her than that. She didn't know if she could give him that. But she did remember feeling happy in his presence. She'd gone there to forget her troubles and he'd delivered. Just not in the way she expected him to deliver it. His kindness and gentleness were unexpected and more confusing than if he'd just attacked her and ripped off what little clothing she possessed. That would have at least made sense. But now she stood in her room wearing his clothes and she felt like never taking them off. They were a part of him. And they smelled like his apartment, which wasn't an altogether pleasant smell, but it reminded her of him. What was happening to her? She quickly removed the clothes and threw them aside and jumped in the shower. She couldn't be any later to work than she already was. There was no time to contemplate the deeper meaning of what the last night meant or didn't mean. She just had to put on a smile and go about her life. That's what she did best.

She arrived at work extremely late. She ran into Harry on her way to her office and he looked at her with some confusion.

"Are you just arriving? It's nearly eleven," he asked her.

"I know. I overslept. My alarm didn't go off. Do you think I'm in trouble?" she wondered.

"I don't know. Anderson was asking about you earlier but I told him I didn't know where you were. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine. I'm just a bit out of sorts these days," she admitted to him.

"I've noticed. Is this because of Ron and Sarah?"

She bristled at the mention of their names and tried to put on a brave face. "I don't really care about them to be honest. Ron's moved on and that's good for him. Perhaps I've moved on as well?"

"You have? With who?" Harry wondered.

"Just someone I met. It's not serious. But I'm completely over Ron. He can do whatever he likes," she said nonchalantly.

"Are you sure? You seem strange."

"I'm fine. And I'm really late for work, so I need to get to my office."

"Okay. I won't keep you. But Hermione, I'm still your friend. I know we haven't talked a lot since you and Ron broke up, but I haven't forgotten you," he told her sincerely.

"Well thanks. That's good. But I'm fine, really. I just need to go."

"I'll see you around."

She just nodded and hurried off to her office and hoped that she wouldn't get chewed out for being so late. She caught her reflection in the glass that lined the wall and noticed she had dark circles under her eyes. She looked like hell. And she felt like it too. But she hadn't taken the time to put on makeup or fix her hair. She'd just pulled it into a wet ponytail. With her appearance, she wasn't fooling anyone that she was actually alright. But the show must go on, she told herself. It was time to act professional. She ran into her boss just as she reached her door.

"Miss Granger, you're incredibly tardy this morning. It's almost afternoon. Was there some problem with you?" her boss asked.

"I'm really sorry. My alarm didn't ring and I was feeling a bit under the weather anyhow. But I'm here. I'm sorry I didn't let anyone know."

"You do look rather ill, I must say. Perhaps you should just go home?"

"No, that's not necessary. I'm alright," she insisted.

"I think you should head home. You don't want to get everyone else sick. We'll manage without you for one day," he told her sympathetically.

"Are you sure? Because I can work."

"I'm positive. Your record is stellar and you never take sick days. So go home and get some rest."

"Okay, thank you. I'll be in tomorrow and I won't be late," she promised.

She went home and didn't really know what to do with herself. She was still rather tired but when she laid down, sleep wouldn't come. She just laid there thinking about the night before and how completely different it had turned out from what she expected. Draco had been tender and kind, which was not like him at all. Usually he was rough and rude and smug. Sure he had started the evening out by getting mad at her and telling her to leave, but at the sight of her tears, he'd crumbled into something resembling a human being. Maybe she hadn't been treating him altogether fairly? She was just using him as a means to forget her real life. Being with him was like an escape to some underground place where there were no rules and no one watching you to see if you were doing the right things. In fact when she was with him, she was always doing the wrong things, but it felt so freeing. She didn't have to be nice and sweet and pleasant with him. She didn't have to put on a smile she didn't feel. She didn't have to pretend to be something she wasn't and it was refreshing. But he had made it clear to her that using him for her naughty kicks wasn't a game he wanted to play. She wasn't sure what to do with that information.

Draco sat in his own apartment feeling restless. He'd been drinking most of the day just trying to forget the night before. Why hadn't he taken advantage of Hermione in her crazed state? She was standing there in her underwear begging to be shagged and he'd tried to send her packing. What sort of man was he? A stupid one, he realized. He couldn't believe he'd actually sat there and pretended to be her friend and listen to her troubles. Boy troubles, at that. As if he really cared. He didn't care one way or the other who her ex was banging now. And it was obvious she still didn't like him when she told him his kisses tasted like bad decisions. That had stung a little more than he wanted it to. He didn't want to be her bad decision. In fact, he didn't know what he wanted to be to her. He certainly didn't want to be her friend. And he apparently didn't want to be her fuck buddy either. Yet he kept thinking about nothing but her to the point of distraction. So what did it all mean? He thought he just wanted to play games with her, but when she'd tried to do that to him he rejected her and then she cried. And suddenly his heart couldn't take it. He'd never seen Granger cry before. He was sure she'd done it loads of times, but nothing he ever did or said to her ever made her cry. Not until last night. And he just couldn't handle it. He had to comfort her. It was stupid really. He had no real place in her life except to be her guilty pleasure. And he wasn't even sure he could do that right.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

He waited until it was evening and then he decided he had to see her again. He didn't know why. He was being compelled like he was under the thrall of a vampire. But he knew that if there were any vampires in this situation it would probably be him and not her. He was an emotional vampire sucking the life out of everything around him. But he didn't know how to be any other way right now. But he headed first for a Chinese restaurant and decided to order them dinner. He hoped she hadn't eaten yet. But if she had I guess it was just more for him. He showed up at her door and knocked. It took her a moment to open up but she finally did. She seemed surprised to see him.

"Draco? What's all that you've got there?" she asked indicating the bags of food he was carrying.

"This? It's dinner. Have you eaten yet?"

"No, I haven't actually. I wasn't very hungry," she admitted.

"Oh well, you don't have to eat this. I can eat it myself. But could I come in before your crazy neighbor lady accuses me of being a rapist again?" he asked.

"What? A rapist? Who said that?"

He pointed across the hall. "The old lady who lives there. She found me out here in my underwear holding my wand, which she assumed was a pointy stick I apparently use to stab my victims with."

Hermione laughed slightly and rolled her eyes. "That's Mrs. Jefferson. She's totally mad. She's always snooping on everyone," she explained as she ushered him into her apartment and closed the door.

"She doesn't know you're a witch, does she?"

"Oh God no. She'd probably have a heart attack. I'm very careful around her."

"Well you might want to let her know that you're not seeing Ron anymore because she didn't seem to think I belonged at your place. She said she already knew who you were seeing and it wasn't me."

"Yeah, well I didn't exactly apprise her of my love life. But don't worry. She's harmless. She won't really call the police."

"That's good to know. That's the last thing I need. To get tossed into Muggle jail for indecent exposure or some such shit."

"So what is in these bags? It smells really good," Hermione asked, taking some of the bags out of his hands.

"It's Chinese food. I don't even know if you like that. But I got one of everything just about," he told her.

"Maybe I am hungry? I'll go get some plates."

She went into the kitchen and got some plates out of the cabinet then she called to Draco," Are you proficient with chopsticks or shall I get forks?"

"I am a pro at chopsticks. It's like eating with two wands between your fingers," he smiled at her.

She walked back into the living room and he'd set the food out on the coffee table. She sat down across from him.

"You're going to put me to shame then because I suck at chopsticks. But just to prove I can use them, I'm forgoing a fork."

"I'll pretend to be very impressed," he said wryly.

"Oh be quiet. Show off."

"So did you make it to work okay?" he wondered as he took a bite of the food.

"Eh, I was really late and then they sent me home because I looked dreadful. I told them I was ill. But really I was just hungover."

"You didn't get in trouble though?"

"No, they said I never take sick days. Which I don't. Drinking last night was a huge mistake," she said trying her best to capture her food with the chopsticks.

"So then no drinking for you tonight?" he asked curiously.

"I probably shouldn't. But maybe I'll have a glass of wine later. But I'm not getting drunk," she insisted.

"I already drank most of the day so I've got a good buzz."

"Why did you drink all day?"

"Because I wanted to," he shrugged.

"You really should at least wait until sundown like a normal person. People might think you have a problem," she pointed out.

"Love, I've got a billion problems. Drinking is the least of it," he sighed.

"Well you left a bottle of whiskey here the other night. So if you want it, it's in the kitchen."

"Nah, I'm good. Maybe later? If I stay that long, that is," he told her.

"You're not planning on staying long?" She was more disappointed by that than she ought to be, she realized.

"No, I mean, I'll stay as long as you want. But if things get steamy don't throw me out in the hallway in my bloody underwear again," he warned her.

"You think things will get steamy, huh?"

"You never know. I mean, with you, I can never tell what the hell is going on in your mind," he admitted with a shake of his head.

"Well you confuse me, Draco. You're complicated."

"How am I complicated?"

"You just are. I mean, I know that we've had sex and then I freak out afterwards. And it's just because I don't know what I'm doing. And then last night, you reject my advances and offer to be my friend? It's weird. And so is this impromptu dinner. Why would you bring me dinner?" she wondered.

"I just thought you might be hungry, that's all. And last night was nothing. I just saved you from doing something you didn't really want to do. I wasn't gonna risk you having another panic attack if we shagged," he explained.

"I wouldn't have had a panic attack. I wanted to do it. That's why I came over there in the first place," she insisted.

"But why did you want to do it? Because you were upset about your ex moving on. It's not like you actually wanted _me_. You just wanted to forget. So I listened to you complain instead. Worked just as well, if not better."

"So you were being noble or something?"

He laughed slightly. "Not noble. Just stupid. I shouldn't have passed the opportunity up, but apparently I have a conscience after all and I just couldn't do it. Not when you were so obviously vulnerable."

"It didn't stop you the first time," she pointed out.

"True. It didn't. And look where that got me? You flipped out. And the second time? Even worse. Truth is, I'm not bloody touching you unless you promise not to act like you violated all laws of God and man afterwards," he told her pointedly.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, not looking at him. She picked at her food and didn't know what else to say.

"Don't be sorry. I just don't fancy being treated like you shagged Voldemort himself whenever I'm with you."

"I only panic because I'm scared," she admitted.

"Scared of what?"

"Liking it too much. You're a mess, Draco. And so am I. We're two really lost souls at the moment and I'm afraid that we're just going to end up hurting each other."

He thought about this for a moment and continued to eat his dinner. Then he looked up at her. "You think I'd hurt you?"

"I don't know. What if I hurt you?"

"You can't hurt me."

"Liar. I already have. You said you didn't want to be treated the way I was treating you. You said you wanted me to care," she reminded him.

He'd forgotten he'd said that. His mind was a bit fuzzy. He sighed. "Okay, so maybe you can hurt me. But why should that bother you? It's not like I matter or anything."

"You think you don't matter?"

"Do I?"

She had to think about that for a minute. She didn't know how she really felt. But he did matter. She knew that much. He wasn't giving himself any credit at all.

"Of course you matter," she assured him.

"To you? Or to the rest of the world?" he questioned her.

"I don't know what the rest of the world thinks, nor do I care. But you matter to me. And I know I said I didn't like you, but that's not entirely true. I do like you. I never thought I'd ever say that, but it's true," she admitted, taking his hand over the table.

He just let her hold his hand for a moment and he relished the way it felt to have contact with her. But he pulled his hand back and started eating again, trying to hide how much it really meant to him to hear her say that.

"I like you too, Granger. Don't ask me why. You've treated me like shit for the most part, but I still like you," he said finally.

"You treated me like shit for years. Maybe it's payback?"

"Payback? You wanna call me names or punch me again?"

"Not really. Do you want to call me names still?"

"You know I don't. I'm over that shit. As far as I'm concerned, you and me are equals. I don't give a fuck what my parents taught me."

"You really have changed, haven't you?" she asked him curiously.

"I guess. You know it never really mattered to me as much as I showed. I was just a jerk. Picking on you was the only time you'd even look at me," he admitted quietly.

"You wanted me to look at you?"

"Maybe? Is that so weird?"

"Yes, it's very weird. And unnatural. And are you sure you're not an imposter? You're actually Draco Malfoy?" she asked giving him a weird look.

"Of course it's me. You just don't get it, do you? You never did. And you were supposed to be the smart one," he scoffed.

"I am smart. I beat you in all your classes. I don't know what I'm supposed to get," she responded defensively.

"Haven't you ever heard that boys pick on the girls they like, because they're too embarrassed to admit they like them? Do the math," he said shrugging his shoulders.

"So you're trying to say that you actually didn't hate me in school, but you liked me? And all those dreadful names you called me was your twisted way of getting my attention?" she asked dumbfounded.

"I never said it was a good plan. But what else was I supposed to do? I had a part to play. It's not like I could just tell you the truth. In fact, I can't even believe I'm telling it to you now. It's ridiculous. And it's also ancient history. It was a stupid crush that I will never admit to another living soul, even if you try to torture it out of me," he said insistently.

She just stared at him like he had three heads. Who was this person? This was not the Draco Malfoy she knew. This had to be some kind of game he was playing. It couldn't be the truth.

"Are you even for real? Or are you just messing with my head?" she asked him accusingly.

"Just drop it, Granger. It doesn't matter anymore. That was a lifetime ago. But the point is, I never meant to hurt you before. I'm sorry, okay? Can we just forget about it now and finish eating?" he said with embarrassed exasperation.

"Fine, we'll drop it. Let's just eat."

They ate in silence for awhile and she was having no luck with the chopsticks. Her food kept falling all over the table. He looked at her and started laughing a little.

"If all else fails, just stab the meat with the pointy end of the stick," he told her, as he grabbed one of her chopsticks and stabbed her chicken.

"Thanks. I told you I wasn't very good with these," she smiled at him.

"If you got a fork, I promise I won't tell anyone," he smiled back at her.

"No, this is a challenge. And I like challenges."

"Suit yourself."

They ate the rest of the meal in silence and Hermione cleaned up the leftovers when they were done. Draco still felt stupid for telling her about his silly schoolboy crush and she still felt slightly unnerved and uncomfortable at his admission. She didn't know where that left them now. They admitted to liking each other and that was strange enough. But to think he harbored feelings for her way back in school? That was just a little too bizarre for her to understand. She figured it was best to just pretend he hadn't said anything. She poured herself a glass of wine and went to sit down on the couch, while he was still sitting on the floor playing with the fortune cookies they'd yet to open up. He handed her one.

"Here, see what your fortune says," he told her.

"I don't believe in fortunes. It's all rubbish."

"Oh come on, the fortune cookie is the best part of the meal."

"These little fortunes never mean anything though."

"Sure they do. At least sometimes."

"You believe in fortune telling, then?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah. Why not? I mean, there are loads of phonies but there are also some real seers out there."

"I walked out of Divination in the middle of a class because I thought it was ridiculous and a waste of time," she told him.

"Trelawney was a bit of a kook, but from what I know, some of her shit was real."

"Yeah it was. Hard to believe. Mostly she just spouted rubbish about how we were all going to die."

"Well we all almost died, so maybe she was right?" he offered. "Now just open your sodding cookie. It's fun. It's not supposed to actually tell your future."

"Oh alright," she sighed and cracked open the cookie. She read it aloud, "A hero is someone who does what they can."

"Interesting. Suits you. You're the hero type."

She tossed the paper on the table and disregarded it as meaningless. "Now open yours," she told him.

He cracked it open and read it to her. "You will receive good news from someone dressed in yellow. Beware the color red." He tossed it on the table along with hers. "You're right, the cookies are stupid. What kind of fortune is that?"

"I told you they were dumb."

"If I meet someone dressed in yellow tomorrow, I'll be sure to ask them if they have any good news for me though."

"But stay away from people in red. You never know what might happen if you come across them," she warned him with a grin.

"So what do you want to do now? What is it you do in the evenings when you aren't shagging me or coming to my flat in your underwear?" he asked curiously.

She sighed. "I usually watch the telly. There's a show on soon that I'm dying to watch. It's really very good. You'd enjoy it."

"What sort of show?"

"Well it's about a girl who kills vampires with her school friends," she explained.

"Vampires? This is a Muggle show?" he wondered.

"Yes and it's not half bad. Of course the way they portrayed witches was a little off and ridiculous, but I can forgive them for that I suppose."

"How do they portray witches?"

"Oh you know, evil and no good. Which I suppose is valid for some of them. But this witch set someone on fire and cursed them just to get on the cheerleading squad. And they don't even have wands."

"Cursing people to get on the cheerleading squad? What's a cheerleading squad?" he asked confused.

"Oh I forgot you wouldn't know that. It's an American show and for their Muggle sports they have these girls dressed in skimpy outfits cheering and waving pom-poms around. It's quite popular, I gather."

"Sounds interesting. Quidditch could do with some girls in skimpy clothes jumping around. I wouldn't complain," he said with a smirk.

"Of course you'd say that," she made a face at him. "But I really do think you'll like the show. If you want to stay and watch with me. You can always go home."

"Go home and miss watching the telly with you? Not a chance," he said with a smile.

He climbed up on the couch and sat next to her, but he kept his distance at first. She flipped on the TV and looked at him. "Do you want something to drink now?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, sure. I'll take some of that whiskey. But I can get it. Where is it?" he asked her.

"It's on the counter by the toaster."

He got up and went over there and saw one of the expensive bottles of wine he'd gotten her that she was drinking tonight. And then he saw his bottle of whiskey untouched. He opened it up and searched for a glass. He wouldn't drink straight out of the bottle tonight. He'd be less of a cretin for once. He went and sat back down next to her and she scooted over closer to him and put her feet in his lap. He wasn't expecting that, but he liked it. He scooted over closer to her and rested his arm over the back of the couch and let her get comfortable.

"Oh it's about to start. It was the season finale, so pay attention," she told him.

"But I have no idea what's going on. You'll have to explain it to me."

"Okay real quick then. Buffy is the vampire slayer and she's the Chosen One," she started to explain.

"The Chosen One? So she's like Potter then?"

"Sort of. Except for that it's more complicated than that. But anyway she's chosen and she has to fight this evil vampire called the Master. He's dreadful, just like Voldemort. And no one else can kill him except her because that's what this ancient prophecy says."

"Okay. This sounds like real life, except the vampire parts. And that this is about a girl Chosen One. You say an American Muggle wrote this show?" he asked curiously.

"Yes. Trust me, it's good. Just watch it."

He did as she said and he had to admit he was rather enjoying it. Especially when she'd jump in and explain things that he didn't get because he'd never watched the show before. It was cute how into the show she got, but it wasn't lost on him that a lot of it mirrored things that had happened in their lives. Hers especially.

"So let me get this straight. The prophecy says that Buffy will face the Master and then she'll die? But she's just going to do it anyway? She's gonna walk right into her death?" he asked her.

"She has no choice. It's not that different than what Harry had to do. He knew he would die, but he had to face Voldemort. That's what being a hero is about," she explained.

"Well I think it's bloody stupid. If someone told me I was gonna die, I'd run the other direction."

"No you wouldn't."

"Yes, I would. Like hell I'd walk into my death knowingly. What would be the point?" he wondered.

"Buffy has to do it. It was a prophecy. She's the only one who can stop him."

"But if she's dead, how does she stop him?"

"I don't know. Maybe she doesn't really die? Just be quiet and keep watching," she told him, shushing him up.

They kept watching and then he turned to her. "She's dead now. She fucking died. So now what? The Master is free now. She just mucked it all up by letting him kill her."

"She's not really dead. Trust me. See, look, Angel and Xander will save her," she told him.

And sure enough, she was right. He could get into this show. It was really interesting for something made by a Muggle. When it was over he looked at her and smiled.

"That was pretty brilliant, I must say. Sort of true to life. I mean she died, but then she didn't die. And then she fucking destroyed him. I like it. When's the next show on?" he asked with excitement.

"It'll be on again soon. This was a repeat. I'd already seen it," she said with a small smile.

"You have? Well why didn't you tell me what would happen?"

"Because you needed to watch with fresh eyes. It's more fun that way. But it was good, wasn't it?"

"My new favorite show actually. Thanks for letting me watch it with you," he told her with a grin.

"Any time. I figured you'd like it. It gets better. You know the spoiled rich girl, Cordelia? Well she falls for Xander. And it causes all kinds of mayhem. She seems like a vacuous imbecile, but she's actually rather smart and wants to do good. She just likes to pretend she hates them all. She reminds me of you, actually."

"Some girl reminds you of me?"

"Yes. I mean, she acted like she was too good for the Scoobies but she couldn't resist helping them and falling for Xander, even though they hated each other. Trust me, it's riveting. And I can relate. I feel like Xander right about now," she admitted.

"Xander huh? Well then that would mean you're really in love with the Chosen One, who would be Harry. So fess up. You want Harry, don't you?" he teased her.

She shoved him back. "I do not. I don't relate in that way. That's crazy."

"Is it so crazy? I mean, didn't you and he used to get together?" he asked.

"Me and Harry? Are you mad? We so did not get together. We're just friends," she insisted.

"Really? Because I always saw you hugging on him and fawning over him. I thought you guys shagged."

"Eww, no. Never. That's disgusting," she said making a face.

"Disgusting? You think Potter is disgusting?" he wondered.

"No, not disgusting. But the thought of us shagging is. I mean, he's Harry. He's my best friend. We'd never do that."

"Hmm, interesting. Well that's good to know. How many guys have you been with?"

"What? Why do you care about that?"

"I'm curious. I assumed you and Potter were an item before you got with the Weasel. Who else was there? Victor Krum?"

"I didn't shag Victor. He was incredibly sweet and gentlemen like. I've only been with two people," she admitted.

"Two? Including me?"

"Yes. What do you think I am? Some trollop?"

"No. But you've really only been with me and Ron?"

"Is that so weird?"

"No. But he was like the great love of your life, supposedly. And then along comes me. Why me? I'm the last guy a good girl would jump into bed with," he explained.

"Does there have to be a good reason? I was lonely and upset and drunk and you were there. Besides just because I've only been with one other guy doesn't make me a prude. I have needs. And you just happened to fulfill those needs," she said nonchalantly, even though it was a bigger deal to her than she was making it out to be.

"Alright. I was there and you were needy. It makes sense. Sort of. It just doesn't seem like you're the type to get around much. Obviously. Not that I really thought you were. I just wondered why you were so forward with me," he told her.

She sighed. "Does it matter? People do lots of stupid things when they drink."

"So I'm just a stupid thing you did when you were drunk then?"

"I didn't say that."

"Yes you did."

"That's not what I meant. Why do you always ask so many bloody questions? What difference does it really make why I slept with you? I did it. It's done. And it's not a big thing," she explained shaking her head.

He leaned over closer to her and looked her in the eyes. "But you see, I think it is a big thing. Because you're not one to just hop in the sack with anyone. And somehow I ended up being one of the privileged. What's up with that?"

She groaned and covered her face. "I don't know, okay? You were just there and I was weak and you were incredibly appealing. I couldn't help myself. But it was only supposed to be the one time. Then it was over. Done with. I don't know how it happened again. Or why you're in my apartment tonight watching television with me. This is not normal," she said shaking her head.

"Just admit it, Granger. You like me and enjoy my company. What's wrong with that?"

"Besides everything? Who's gonna understand this? No one."

"Look at me," he told her seriously. "Do I look like I give a fuck who understands this? I don't. All I know is that I fucking can't stop thinking of you. I want to be around you. In your space. In your world. You make me want to be a better man. Don't you get it?"

"I make you want to be a better man?" she asked with confusion.

"Yes. I haven't had a cigarette today in like nine hours. And you know why? Because you don't like it. And yes, I'm slightly drunk, but not entirely. I'm not shit faced. And that's because I wanted to be alert and coherent for you. Don't ask me why, I just am compelled to change my wicked ways for you. No one else has ever made me feel that way," he said honestly, baring his soul to her.

"You didn't smoke for me?" she asked quietly.

"Nope. I wanted to taste better when you kissed me."

"Who says I'm gonna kiss you?"

He leaned closer to her. "You know you want to."

He was right. She did want to. She couldn't help herself. She leaned over and kissed him softly, but he soon drew her to him and the kiss grew heated. She finally pulled back breathlessly.

"That was nice. No cigarettes. Just whiskey and the faintest hint of Kung Pao Chicken," she smiled at him.

"At least it's better than liquor and bad decisions."

"You're not a bad decision," she whispered. "Do I still taste like tragedy?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Are you gonna cry again?"

"No."

"Then you taste fine. But I really need to experience more of it to be sure," he said leaning in for another kiss.

They kissed for awhile on the couch, wrapped up in each other. Hermione couldn't help herself and Draco had long ago lost all sense of reason. All he knew was that he wanted this girl and he wasn't going to let her slip away from him. And all she knew was that being with him was wrong, but nothing else had felt more right.

"Do you want to see my bedroom?" she asked him between kisses.

"Do I get to stay this time or will you throw me out?"

"You can stay. But don't let me oversleep. I have work tomorrow."

"Gotcha. No oversleeping. Now show me your room," he said with a satisfied glint in his eye.

She stood up and grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway with her. She had no idea what she was doing, but she didn't really care. She wanted this man. Against all reason and logic, he was the one she wanted. And he wanted her. That much was quite clear. She saw no reason to deny each other. And she'd only had one glass of wine so she was clear headed. This was all on her and she couldn't make any excuses. But part of her wanted to know what it was like to sleep in a bed in his arms. No frantic worrying the morning after. Just blissful togetherness. That's what she was after. And she didn't give a damn what anyone else thought. And neither did Draco. He wanted this girl badly, but it was so much more than simple shagging. He wanted to own her. Own her heart. He wanted to matter to her. He didn't matter to anyone else, but being with her made him feel like a normal person. That's all he wanted. To just be normal and not worry about what the world would think. He didn't care. All he could see was her. And when she led him to her bed, soon they were lost in each other and the world melted away again. They were locked in a dream world that was solely their own and neither one of them wanted to leave there any time soon.

When Hermione's alarm went off the next morning, she did not want to get up. She groaned and hit the snooze button and then she rolled over and curled up next to Draco. He sleepily opened up one eye and looked at her, then he smiled and pulled her closer.

"Don't get up. Just stay in bed with me all day," he murmured in her ear.

She smiled and leaned into him, pressing their bodies together even more. "I wish I could. But I have to work. I already went home sick once."

"So tell them you're still sick. I don't want you to go," he pouted.

"You're cute when you pout," she said as she gave him a kiss.

"What am I gonna do all day without you?" he asked.

"You could do something productive. Better than sitting around drinking at least."

"What productive thing can I do?"

"I don't know. Try going out somewhere. And not to a bar. Go to the park. Or shopping."

"Shopping for what?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I just go shopping in order to get out of the house."

"Maybe I'll just lay in your bed all day and wait for you to come home?" he mused.

"You could do that if you wanted to. Crookshanks will keep you company," she said as she pointed to the foot of the bed where he lie asleep in the covers.

"He's not much for conversation."

"I talk to him all the time. I think we understand each other."

"You speak cat?"

"Yes. Or rather I just make up what I think he's saying. But it works for us."

"I'd much rather talk to you," he said as he kissed her again and his hands wandered under the covers to touch her in a very personal spot. She moaned slightly and then she reached down and grabbed his hand and pulled it away.

"Don't do that. I can't be late. You'll get me all distracted," she scolded him as she wriggled out of his grasp and got out of the bed.

"You're no fun."

"Sorry. There's a time for fun and now is not it. I need to get ready."

"You look good just like that. You should go to work naked," he said with a grin as he watched her walk across the room looking for her robe.

"Right, I'll go in naked. Then they'll think I'm mental and send me off to St. Mungo's."

He watched her pull on her robe and head out of the room towards the bathroom. He just laid back and stared at the ceiling. What was he doing? He was in so far over his head. He actually cared about this girl. That wasn't supposed to happen. He hadn't cared about anything in a very long time and now she'd come along and changed everything. He didn't know what to do. But he was already in this and couldn't get back out again. He just didn't know if he meant as much to her as she meant to him. He'd never felt this way about a girl before. He'd been with other girls and enjoyed himself, but he never really cared about them. He never found himself longing to spend entire days and nights with them, not wishing for them to be out of his sight. But that's how he felt about Hermione. The thought of a long and boring day with her at work didn't appeal to him at all. What would he do with himself? He couldn't even remember what he always used to do. Mostly because it wasn't much. He was always lonely. It was just his normal state of being, so he didn't really feel it so acutely. But now he had this aching feeling in the pit of his stomach. He hated it. Life was simpler before Hermione Granger walked back into his life. But if he had it to do all over again, he wouldn't change anything. He would still approach her at the bar. And he'd still be in this same predicament.

When she finally walked back into the room, she was towel drying her hair while she was wrapped up in the fluffy blue robe.

"You look adorable in the morning," he told her with a grin.

"Oh stop. I do not. I haven't even had my coffee yet, so I must look dreadful."

"You're too hard on yourself, you know that? Maybe that's what I like about you. You don't even know how beautiful you are."

"Beautiful huh?"

"Incredibly so."

She went over and kissed him again and he tried to pull her into the bed with him, but she stopped him.

"No funny business. I need to get dressed."

He just sighed and watched her get ready and made no move to get up himself. He didn't want to. Plus her cat had made it's way onto the pillow next to him, so he busied himself by petting the cat, who loved every second of the attention.

"Maybe I should get a pet? I used to have an owl, but I left it at home," he said absently.

"That's something you could do today. Go pet shopping," she offered.

"But what would I get? It seems odd for a man to have a cat. But I don't really need another owl. Besides owls aren't exactly the best company in the world. I could get a dog, but I don't think my flat is big enough."

"Get a little dog."

"No, little dogs are annoying. I want something big and fierce."

"Your flat is definitely too small for an animal like that. Maybe you should try some fish?"

"Fish? But they're boring. They just swim in circles all day and you can't pet them."

"How about a Pygmy Puff?"

"A Pygmy Puff? Are you joking? No real man has a bloody Pygmy Puff for a pet," he scoffed.

"But they're so cute. Ginny used to let hers sit on her shoulder all the time."

"Well good for Ginny. She's a girl so she can get away with that. Besides, am I to walk about London with a creature on my shoulder that Muggles have never seen before? It's not very stealthy."

"True. You couldn't walk down the street with that. I'm sure you'll figure something out."

She finished pulling up her hair into a knot at the back of her neck and she put on some lipstick. She was all ready to go, but part of her hated leaving Draco as much as he hated her leaving. But life still had to go on. She had a job to do. She couldn't live in a fantasy bubble twenty four hours a day unfortunately.

"I've gotta go. Will you lock my door when you leave?" she asked him.

"Yeah, sure. We should do something tonight. Go out someplace. It's Friday night. That means you can be debaucherous without worry about work in the morning," he suggested hopefully.

"Debaucherous? What do you have planned?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know. Strip club, underground poker parlor, biker bar? Take your pick," he grinned at her.

"You're insane." She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. "We'll think of something. Meet me here at six okay?"

"I'll be here."

"Alright. See you then. Have fun today, whatever you do. And try not to be drunk when I get home."

"I'll try."

She paused in the doorway for a second just taking in the beautiful sight of him lying in her bed. But then she finally tore herself away and went to the living room to access her Floo. It was time to be Hermione Granger, perfect employee who does no wrong, once again. She was tired of acting, but she supposed she had no real choice.

She showed up at work promptly and ran right into Ron coming in for the day. She had barely spoken three words to him since they broke up because he avoided her like the plague. She assumed today would be no different, but he actually stopped her and grabbed her arm.

"Hey, wait up a sec," he told her.

"What do you want?" she asked somewhat coldly.

"I just wanted to see how you were. I heard you were sick yesterday."

"Yeah, it was nothing. Just a twenty four hour thing. I'm fine."

"Oh, well, good. I'm glad it was nothing serious."

"Nope, I'm fine."

"So listen I know you heard about me and Sarah," he began.

She held up her hand. "I don't care to hear about it. It's no big deal. We broke up and you moved on. That's what people do."

"Yeah, it is. But I didn't want you to be upset about it." 

"I'm not. I could care less. I actually have been seeing someone myself, so it's no biggie."

"You have been? Who?" he asked very curiously.

"It's just a guy I met in the city. It's nobody you know," she said sounding aloof.

"Oh. Is he a Muggle?"

"No, of course not."

"Well then who is he? Did he go to Hogwarts?"

"He's older. Much older. You wouldn't know him," she lied quickly.

"How much older? Like thirty or something?"

"He's twenty six. I figured I'd try my luck with someone more mature."

"Mature? You're saying _I'm_ immature? I'm the one who wanted to settle down and get married. It was you who wanted to run off and find yourself, whatever that means," he told her somewhat bitterly.

"Look, I don't have time to talk. I need to get to work."

"Fine. Go then. I hope you and whoever he is will be very happy."

"Thanks. I hope you and Sarah suit each other too."

And with that, she turned on her heel and walked away from him. Seeing him and talking to him was very awkward for her. The break up had been semi-mutual, but it had been her that started the ball rolling. He just agreed with her that it wasn't working. But she couldn't very well tell him the truth about who she was seeing now. Or what it even meant, because she didn't even know. All she knew was that she had to keep her two worlds separate. At least for now. Maybe forever. I mean, who knew what would really happen with Draco? She couldn't define their relationship at this point, if it even was a relationship. She just knew she liked being with him. But at this point, that's all she knew. She was afraid to delve much deeper than that right now. Right now, she just needed to focus on work.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

Draco lounged about Hermione's apartment for quite a long time after she left. He was comfortable. She had a very soft bed with lots of pillows. And he found himself actually speaking to her cat and it would meow back at him, just like she said it would do. He amused himself with that for quite some time before he finally got up and got dressed again. Then he snooped about her flat for a bit. He knew it was rude and wrong, but he was insanely curious about her. He wanted to know what she was all about. So he opened up her drawers and looked in her closets, and then he perused her bookshelves. He went to her desk and opened up the drawer there and saw several photos of her and Ron lying in pile. He thumbed through them and they made him feel ill. They looked so happy together. And Draco knew that Ron was so much better for Hermione than he ever could be. But she'd kicked him to the curb. He had to remember that. He tossed the photos back in the drawer and closed it up. No sense torturing himself by seeing her kiss all over some other guy. Then he opened another drawer and found pictures of two older people. It was a Muggle photo. He realized these were her parents. They had to be. He'd seen them once before a long time ago, but he wasn't really paying attention to them. He wondered why she kept the photo in a drawer instead of on display. Maybe it was too painful for her to look at? He rifled through her other papers and saw nothing exciting except her bank balance which was not too shabby even if it didn't even begin to rival his own. Working for the Ministry paid pretty well, he thought to himself.

After going through the desk, he went into the kitchen to look for food. She had a pantry stocked with all sorts of canned goods and pasta but nothing he could make into a meal since he didn't know how to cook. She did have a box of cereal though and he helped himself to that. While he was eating at the counter, he rifled through all her cabinets and noticed she had tons of dishes for just a single person. She must really like dishes, he noted. He looked at her refrigerator and noticed the photos she had pinned up on it. One of her and Harry smiling and laughing. And then one of her and some blond girl who he thought was called Luna or something like that. He wasn't sure. He didn't know her, but he recognized her as one of Potter's pals. Either way, they were both smiling and having a grand old time. He wished he had photos like that around his flat. But he didn't have any at all. He hadn't taken any pictures of his family with him, and he had no pictures of him and his friends smiling and laughing. Mostly because he never really had actual friends. He just had people who followed him around and did whatever he told them to do. He did possess a picture of him and Pansy from when they went to the Yule Ball. But it was a long forgotten memento that he never looked at and had no idea why he even brought it with him when he left home. Maybe because she'd been the only girl in school he ever really went out with? But he didn't even like her that much and she had no interest in him any longer. He had no idea what happened to her and he didn't really care. He supposed the picture was just one of the only ones he had of his life at Hogwarts, before it all went to hell.

He decided he liked Hermione's flat better than his own. It was cleaner, for one thing. And also, it felt homey and not like a pit of despair. He even went so far as to water her plants for her. And he fed her cat too. She clearly spoiled the animal because he'd found all sorts of cans of food that were made with venison and veal. The bloody feline ate better than Hermione did. But he kept himself in the good graces of Crookshanks by giving him a big bowl of nasty smelling food which he gobbled up quickly. After that, Draco figured he better leave. It wasn't like Hermione invited him to root through her apartment all day long and she'd probably be angry if she knew he was snooping. But he couldn't help himself. But he finally gave up and got himself together to go back to his place. He locked the door and shut it behind him. Then he came face to face with the nosy old lady again. Mrs. Jefferson. She was giving him a hard look as he started to walk down the hall.

"It's you again, I see," she said haughtily.

"Yep, it's me. And this time I have clothes on. Now do you believe me when I say I'm not a rapist?" he asked snottily.

"I don't know. What are you doing in Miss Granger's flat while she's at work?"

"How do you know she's at work?"

"Because she's always at work at this time of day. It's strange because I never see her leave, but I know she goes. Plus she told me she works all day so I can keep an eye out for riff raff and undesirables lurking about."

"Do you think I'm a bloody burglar? I spent the night. Not that it's your business. I'm going home now if that's alright with you?" he asked giving her a glare.

"What does that tattoo on your arm mean? It looks evil. Are you in a gang?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

He just sighed and shook his head. She wasn't far off the mark. Being a Death Eater was like a gang. But it's not as if he'd tell her that. "Look lady, it's just a fucking tattoo. Have you never seen one? Is it too scary for you? Should I have a bloody kitten on my arm instead? Would that be less terrifying for you to witness?"

"I don't like your tone, young man. You're rude and obnoxious. I don't know why Miss Granger would hang out with you," she said turning up her nose at him.

"Yeah? Well next time you see her, ask her why she hangs out with me. I'm kind of curious about that myself," he told her as he pushed past her and went down the hall towards the elevator.

"I will ask her! Don't think I won't!"

He just lifted his hand and flipped her off without turning around. Sometimes he just hated people in general. They were always up in your business. Why couldn't they just keep to themselves? That's why he liked seedy little dive bars because no one bothered you or cared why you were there. But he wasn't going to go to the bar today. Hermione asked him not to be drunk when she got home, and he would oblige her. He could go a day without a drink. But he did want a cigarette. He was going bloody insane without one for so long. He stopped at a convenience store and picked up a pack because he was fresh out. And he told himself he'd quit for her but that wasn't gonna happen. At least not today. And it's not like she was his girlfriend. He didn't know what she was. But right now the cigarette was more important and he lit it up as soon as he walked outside. She'd never know. He could always shower again and brush his teeth. She couldn't expect him to give up all his vices in one day. Or at all. Why should he change for her? He didn't know, but he felt compelled to do so. He meant what he said when he told her she made him want to be a better man. It was true. But baby steps. It's not like he could change who he was overnight. Besides it's not like he was doing drugs or anything. It was just a smoke. Who cared? He stopped and got coffee at a vendor and sipped that as he strolled back to his apartment. Once he got inside he realized how utterly depressing the place was. It was messy and dirty and it smelled like socks and cigarettes and old pizza. Just the thought of his parents seeing this place made him shudder. They'd faint. A Malfoy living in a shit heap would never fly. And it's not like he was normally a messy person. He wasn't. He'd never been like this until he left home. He supposed not having house elves to clean up after him made some difference. But the truth was, he just didn't care enough to keep the place tidy. But even he couldn't stand it anymore. At least not sober. He decided it was time to clean it up a little. That would probably take some of the day and then he wouldn't be bored anymore. So he set about straightening his flat, mentally counting down the time to when Hermione said to meet her. He couldn't wait to see her again and it had only been a few hours. He was a goner for sure. She had him wrapped around her little finger and she didn't even know it. What had become of him? He had no idea. He just hoped he didn't end up completely wrecked after all was said and done. She had the power to destroy him even more than he could destroy himself. She just didn't realize that yet. And he didn't want her to know.

Hermione was leaving work and she was rushing to the lobby where the Floo's were. She was anxious to get home and wasn't really paying attention to her surroundings. She ran right into Harry and knocked his briefcase out of his hands.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. I'm such a klutz sometimes," she said reaching down to help him pick it up.

"It's okay. You seem distracted though. Everything alright?"

"Yes. You just asked me yesterday if everything was alright and I said it was," she reminded him.

"I know but today is a new day. Doesn't hurt to ask." 

"Well I'm fine. I'm just eager to get home."

"Yeah, me too. Ginny and I are going out dancing. I hate dancing, but she loves it. She makes me go," he told her.

She laughed slightly. "I remember when you and I danced in the tent that one time. You were pretty bad at it, but it made me laugh." She recalled fondly.

"Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me to ask you to dance when I'm so bad at it. But it was fun. God, you know, I've missed talking to you. Why are we not talking?" he asked her curiously.

She shrugged. "I don't know. You seemed like you thought I was slightly mental for breaking up with Ron, even though it was obvious we didn't work together. I just assumed you and he talked bad about me behind my back."

"No, we don't. I swear it. I don't think you're mental. I mean, I wanted you guys to work out. But it's not really up to me. Who is this other guy you're seeing? Ron told me he was older."

"Yeah, he is older. Twenty seven. Wait, no, twenty six. Yeah. He's great," she lied.

"Does he have a name?"

"Of course he does, silly."

"What is it?"

"Um, it's John."

"John who?"

"You wouldn't know him."

"Am I going to get to meet him? I'd like to see who he is," Harry told her.

"Maybe someday? I don't know. It's all very new and I don't know if it's serious. We'll see."

"Okay. Well I guess I'll be off now. Have a good weekend."

"You too. Enjoy the dancing."

"I'll try."

And with that, they both went their separate ways. Hermione wished she could tell Harry the truth about who she was seeing, but she saw no good coming of that. Especially when she didn't really know if there was anything to tell except sordid stories of drinking too much and shagging each other senseless. Harry might not be able to take that news without vomiting or dying on the spot. He could escape a killing curse but the news of her banging Draco Malfoy might actually kill him instantly. She couldn't take that risk. At least not now. She arrived in her flat and brushed the soot off her clothes. She walked into the room and tossed her purse on the floor and kicked off her shoes. Then she went into her room to change into something more comfortable and less business like. She noted that her bed was actually made which shocked her. Draco had made up the bed? Wonders will never cease, she thought to herself. He lived in a pigsty and yet he was courteous enough to make her bed. How very odd and sweet of him. It made her smile. And when she looked at the clock and realized he'd be there any moment, she smiled wider. She had been looking forward to seeing him all day. After she changed, she went back into the living room and sat down on the couch waiting. There was a knock at her door and she jumped up and rushed to get it. She opened it with a smile and found her neighbor standing there instead of Draco.

"Mrs. Jefferson. What are you doing here?" she asked curiously.

"Well dear, it's about that blonde fellow I keep seeing lurking about your flat. Who is he? Does he belong here? One time he was in his underwear! Right outside the door. I was aghast. And that awful tattoo he has? Surely he's not a friend of yours?"

Hermione sighed loudly. This woman had always been a busy body and drove her insane. But she always tried to be pleasant. "He _is_ a friend of mine. He's not someone to worry about. And he was only in his underwear because I threw him out before he could get dressed."

"Why did you throw him out? Did he hurt you? Shall I call someone?"

"No, no. It's nothing like that. We just had an argument. All is well. In fact, I'm expecting him shortly," she informed her.

The old woman clutched her hands to her shirt as if she were bothered by the information. "I don't like that young man very much. He's rude. Whatever happened to the other fellow you were with?"

"We broke up."

"Oh. Well he was nicer. I'm not sure what you see in this other bloke. He actually gave me a rude hand gesture and used foul language while speaking to me. Was he raised in a barn?" she asked snootily.

"Actually he was raised in a mansion with servants and parents who would never in a million years speak to you because they were such snobs. So no, he wasn't raised in a barn. He's just a little antisocial. Maybe you should just leave him alone instead of interrogating him all the time?"

"Fine. I was only looking out for your welfare. See if I bother anymore," she said feeling put out.

"Okay then. Goodnight." Hermione slammed the door in her face and shook her head. If only it weren't illegal to curse Muggles. That woman could use a Bat Bogey Hex or something, Hermione thought.

She went to sit down again, but someone knocked on the door before she had a chance. She opened it up and this time it was Draco. They both smiled at each other and then Hermione pulled him into her apartment and shut the door before Mrs. Jefferson could peek out at them.

"I missed you today," she said, putting her arms around his neck.

"Yeah? I missed you too." He leaned down and kissed her hungrily and she ran her hands through his already messy hair.

When they finally pulled back for air she grinned at him. "You don't taste like whiskey or cigarettes. Have you been a good boy today?" she asked curiously.

"Mostly. I may have had a smoke or two but I made sure I brushed before I came over," he admitted with a shrug.

"Well that's a start. Did you decide what sort of debaucherous fun we're going to have tonight?"

"As a matter of fact, I did. I know of a place. It's a real hole in the wall. But they have great pub food. And the drinks are cheap and not watered down. Plus they have karaoke. Do you know what that is?"

"Karaoke? You mean like singing into a microphone in front of people?" she asked warily.

"Yes! It's funny as hell. Muggles are so weird. They know they can't sing, but they get up and do it anyway. It cracks me up."

"Are you going to sing?" she wondered.

"Oh fuck no. Are you kidding me? I don't sing," he scoffed.

"Oh come on. I would literally pay you to see that."

"I don't need money. I have plenty. You'd have to buy me an airplane or something cool like that. Or a yacht. And I know you're not rich enough for either of those items," he told her with a smile.

"If I do it, will you?" she asked with pleading eyes.

"No way. Nice try though. You can sing if you want. I won't laugh too hard."

"Liar. You will too. But okay, lets go to this hole in the wall and we can just make fun of the other people singing," she said giving him a little kiss.

"Sounds like a plan to me. Let's get out of here."

She grabbed her purse and he took her hand and led them out of the apartment. Mrs. Jefferson had her door halfway cracked and she spied on them as they walked past. Draco saw her and gave her his best scowl and she just looked appalled and shut the door quickly. He smiled to himself. He still had it. He could still give a glare like no one else. It was his trademark. And it never failed to disgust people and offend them. He was amused by it. They took off down the street and Hermione looked over at him.

"How far away is this place? Should we apparate or just walk?" she wondered.

"It's about ten blocks. We could apparate. There's an alley next to it that's usually empty until it gets later. Then you might run into a hooker or two so you gotta be careful."

"A hooker? You're taking me to a place where prostitutes go?" she seemed appalled.

"I'm not taking you on a date to the alley. It's just a place to land. There aren't any hookers in the establishment. At least I don't think so. I never noticed," he explained.

"This sounds like a bad part of town though."

"Are you scared? Come on. You faced Voldemort and you're worried about some hookers?"

"I'm not scared of hookers. I'm scared of muggers. And serial killers like Jack the Ripper."

"Love, Jack the Ripper has been dead for like a hundred years. Plus you're with me. As if I'd let anyone lay a hand on you. I am armed," he said showing her his wand.

"Right. Okay. I'm being silly. I'm armed too. But if they take my purse my wand is in there. It won't do me much good."

"Trust me, no one will take your purse. Not with me around. Relax. This is gonna be great. You'll see," he assured her.

They ducked into an alley and hid behind a dumpster. Draco took her hand and they disapparated into another deserted alley presumably ten blocks away.

"See? No hookers. It's still early yet. Come on, the place is just around the corner." He took her hand and dragged her along with him until they reached the place. It was literally a hole in the wall and they had to go down steep steps to get to the entrance. There was a bouncer at the door and when he saw Draco he just smiled at him and waved them on through.

"You come here often?" she asked.

"Yeah, all the time. That's Bruce. He looks tough but he's not really. But he keeps the place safe."

She looked around and noted that the place was dark and smoky and there were neon signs everywhere casting a bluish glow over everything. Draco spied a table in the far corner and led her over to it and she just took in the crowd of people and tried to size them up. They seemed decent enough. Not at all the type of people she'd expect from a place like this. But they sat down at the table and he handed her a menu. She looked it over and noted that there weren't that many choices to pick from. For someone who was exceptionally rich, Draco sure did love slumming it, she thought to herself.

"You know, I thought that if I dated a rich bloke he'd feed me caviar and French champagne," she said with a little smirk as she peered over her menu.

Draco laughed. "Is that what you want? Caviar? Because I could do that. But have you ever eaten that shit? It's disgusting. I'd rather eat my shoe."

"I've never had it but it looks kind of gross. All slimy and wiggly. Plus who wants to eat fish eggs? Blech."

"Trust me when I say the food here is much better. It's not five star, but it's pub food. It's perfect when you're drinking."

"Speaking of which, where is the waitress? I would like to order a drink," she said looking around for someone to serve them.

He looked around and spotted a girl wearing short shorts and an apron. He signaled for her to come over and she approached them.

"Evening. You ready to order?" she asked them with a smile.

"Just drinks for now. I want a whiskey neat. And what do you want?" he asked Hermione.

"I'd like a Cosmo with extra cherries on the side."

"Coming right up."

The waitress left and they kept looking over the menus. They finally decided on what to order and placed it once the waitress came back with their drinks. Hermione ate the cherries first.

"These are my favorite. I could eat a whole jar of them," she told him absently.

"Can you tie the stem into a knot with your tongue?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She laughed. "I've never tried. Can you?"

"I don't know. I never tried either." He picked up a stem and handed it to her and then he took one. "I'm game if you are?"

"Sure, why not?"

They both put the stems in their mouths and did their best to tie it in a knot but they both ended up spitting the thing out and giving up.

"How do people do that?" she asked.

"Beats me. I've just heard it means you're skilled with your tongue, which comes in handy sometimes," he said with a smirk.

"Hmm, really now? Well you couldn't tie that stem to save your life, but I'd say you're skilled with your tongue anyway," she told him slyly.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, I was impressed. You must have had a lot of practice."

"Not as much as I would like, I can tell you that," he laughed.

"Really? I just assumed you'd bedded down countless girls," she remarked, not sure if she really wanted to know how many women he'd been with.

"What makes you think I've bedded countless girls?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know. You have that way about you. You swagger like a man who gets laid every day of his life. I just assumed you got around," she shrugged.

He couldn't help but laugh at that. Oh how he wished that were true. "You'd be surprised then because I haven't gotten around that much. Did you really see me with lots of girls in school?"

She thought for a moment then shook her head. "No. Not a lot. I saw you with Pansy."

"Pansy? Yeah, I went out with her for awhile. But she was the only one at school I was ever with. I sort of got sidetracked on dating when I became a Death Eater and was practically held prisoner in my own house for over a year."

"But there've been other girls since Pansy, right?"

"Yeah, a couple. You know, you meet them in a bar and you go home with them for the night. Nothing special. And most of those times I was too loaded to even remember them properly. But honestly I went home alone much more than I went home with someone else," he told her truthfully.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. I'm not a sex god. Despite what you might have thought. The girls at school always bored me to tears. Mostly because they were all just as snobby and annoying as I was."

"Maybe you should have looked outside Slytherin for a girl then? There were loads of interesting ones in school with us," she pointed out.

"Date outside of Slytherin? Are you crazy? I couldn't do that," he scoffed.

"Why not? Did it really matter that much?"

"Back then it did. Now, I could care less. Obviously. I'm here with you, aren't I? The queen of Gryffindor. But it's not like any of these people give a fuck. There are no house tables to sit at. It's freedom at it's finest."

"You really didn't like school did you?" she asked him.

"Honestly? No, I didn't. I thought it was stupid. I mean, I did well because it was expected of me, but mostly I was bored. Except for when I was on the Inquisitorial Squad. Now that was fun."

"Oh my God, you can't even be serious. That was the stupidest thing I'd ever seen. Umbridge was the devil in a pink sweater. I can't believe you ever were supportive of her," she said shaking her head.

"I didn't like the stupid bint, but she gave me power. Power to lord over you and your friends. It was bloody brilliant if you ask me," he said deviously.

"You were such a prat. You lived to take away points from us and get us into trouble. I'd almost forgotten how much I hated you then," she said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I was a prat. But I was a prat with power. I kind of miss that. It's about the only thing I miss from school."

"I don't see why it was such fun to get us in trouble. I think you were just jealous that we had a secret club and you weren't invited," she said turning her nose up at him.

"I was not jealous. Like I wanted to be in your club," he said dismissively.

"I can see right through you, Draco Malfoy. You were jealous. If you had a secret club you wouldn't have wanted me and Harry ruining it for you."

"Maybe I had a secret club?"

"Yeah, the Death Eaters."

"Besides them. Maybe me and my people had a club you didn't know about?"

"Did you?"

"No. But I could have."

"Well then you would have gotten in trouble too. And I would have laughed and mocked and enjoyed seeing that," she told him with a grin.

"I'm sure you would have. It's a good thing you like me now. I mean, we sort of have our own secret club now. Just you and me. I kind of like that."

"I like it too."

He reached over the table and held her hands while he just looked at her. When he thought back to the days of him making her life hell, they almost didn't even seem real anymore. He couldn't believe what an ass he had been. But he was just a boy then. A stupid, power hungry, spoiled rich brat. He wasn't that person anymore. In fact, he tried very hard to be the opposite of that person. That's why he hung out in dives and didn't live in a penthouse. He just wanted to be a person now. Forget all the rubbish and just live his life. But he had a lot of demons chasing him. Ones that weren't so easy to get away from. He could laugh about some of the stuff he'd pulled in his day, but the rest of it was no laughing matter. Those were the memories he didn't want to think about anymore. He had a sudden need to down his drink and ask for another. He could feel the demons knocking on the door and he had to beg them off.

"Is everything alright?" Hermione asked him, noticing his shift in demeanor.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about the past. I don't like to do that really," he admitted quietly.

"We don't have to talk about the past. We can talk about something else. Like did you buy a pet today?"

He laughed slightly. "No, I did not do that. I cleaned my flat though. You wouldn't even recognize it."

"You cleaned? Why?"

He shrugged. "It needed to be done. Even I couldn't stand it anymore."

"Well now if you do get a pet it won't get lost in all the clutter and dirty clothes lying around."

Just then, their food came and they eagerly dug in. They were both starving it seemed. And once they'd finished their meals, they kept the drinks flowing until they were both laughing at the people singing karaoke that had just started up.

"I can't believe that one person with the big hair actually sung that song. It was dreadful. She couldn't hit a single note," Hermione laughed.

"What about that guy dressed in a hoodie and sunglasses? What was that get up? He looked like he was hiding from the police. And that song he sung? Footloose? My ears were bleeding."

"I've actually heard that song before and it's not terrible. But you'd never know by hearing his rendition."

"So are you drunk enough to go up there and sing for me?" he asked with a smirk.

"Not on your life. I'm not doing it unless you do," she protested.

"I don't even know any of these Muggle songs. I'd totally fuck it up."

"But the lyrics are on the screen. You can't fuck it up," she pointed out.

"No, I'm a bit off my rocker these days, but I'm not a complete lunatic. I'm not singing."

"Fine. Then let's go someplace else. This woman is absolutely murdering this song and my ears can't take it."

He signaled the waitress to bring their bill and he tossed down some money onto the table. He took her hand and led her out of the dark pub and back out onto the street. He fished in his pocket for his cigarettes and pulled one out.

"I'm sorry love, but I have to have this," he told her as he lit it up.

"That's okay, I've got peppermints in my purse."

"I know these things are awful, but do you know how fucking hard they are to quit?"

"I know they're hard, that's why I would never start. You should have known better," she admonished him.

"Oh well. Live and learn. Someday I'll give them up for real. Just not now."

"Where should we go next?" she wondered.

"Let's just walk a bit and see if another place strikes our fancy?"

He took her hand and they strolled along the darkened street amidst lots of other people. It wasn't the best part of town but it had a bustling night life. They walked past closed shops and peered in the windows. Hermione stopped at a store and admired the leather coat in the window.

"Oh I love that. It's so edgy. It's totally not me, but I want it," she said excitedly.

"Why do they have coats in the window when it's just now August? It's not like you need a leather coat right now."

"Yeah but they always put out things ahead of time so you can buy them for later. They put up swimsuits in December. It's ridiculous."

"You really like that coat then?" he asked curiously.

"I love it. But can you see me wearing that? It's not my style."

"It could be if you wanted it to be. You make your own style."

She thought about it for a minute then just shook her head. "I can't really afford to waste money on something I'd probably wear once. Besides the place is closed now."

Draco made a mental note of the coat and thought maybe he'd get it for her later. Surprise her. She'd probably like that. And he was curious to see it on her. But they kept walking until they got to a tattoo parlor. It's neon sign glowed brightly in their faces and pictures of all sorts lined the windows.

"Hey maybe you can get a new tattoo like you wanted?" she offered looking over at him.

"Yeah, I could. Would you ever get one?" he asked her.

"Me? I don't think I'm the tattoo type."

"You could be. See, I'm trying to show you that you can be whatever you want to be. If you want that leather coat? Then fucking buy it. And if you want a tattoo, go for it. Who's stopping you?" he asked her.

"No one's stopping me I guess. It's just not like me to be that way. People wouldn't get it."

"Who cares?"

"I care. I think. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't care so much what everyone thinks?" she said giving it some thought.

"Come on, lets go in here and see if you fancy any of these tattoos." He dragged her into the shop even though she protested.

"Draco, stop! I don't think I can do it."

"Just look at the pictures. You don't have to really do it."

She stopped and looked through a book that lay open on the counter and a man walked up to them.

"Hello there. You two fancy matching tattoos? I can give you a discount."

"No, we're just looking. Thanks," Hermione said quickly.

"I want one. I don't need to look at the book. I already know what it'll be," Draco spoke up.

Hermione looked at him strangely. "You're really getting one?"

"Why not, I say? You only live once."

"Alright sir, what is it you want to get?" the man asked him, happy to have a paying customer.

"I want it to say 'Quod Me Nutrit, Me Destruit' and I want it on my wrist right under this one," he said pointing to his arm.

"What does that mean?" Hermione asked him curiously.

"It means, what nourishes me, destroys me. I think it's fitting. I like it. Are you sure you don't want something too?"

"I don't know. I rather like this one actually. It's an Ouroborus."

"What exactly does that represent? Looks like a snake eating it's tail."

"It is. It symbolizes re-creating yourself. It's sort of where I'm at in life and I know that my parents would have died if I ever got this tattooed on me, but unfortunately they're gone. So I can do what I like," she said with a determined look on her face.

"Plus you're also almost twenty one. You can still do whatever you like even if your parents were around," he pointed out. "I mean my parents would flay me alive if they saw me inside this shop, but I don't care."

"You're right. We're adults. We don't have to answer to anyone but ourselves. I wanna do it. I'm sure of this," she smiled.

"Alrighty then, two customers! Who wants to go first?" the man asked with a grin.

"I'll go first," Draco volunteered.

They went into the back of the shop where the tattooing stuff was set up and Draco sat down in the chair. The guy got some stuff together and then he took a look at Draco's arm.

"This is a real odd tattoo you've got. It's almost as if the ink was burned right into your skin," he remarked curiously.

"Yeah, it's an ancient tattooing practice. I got it in Tibet," he lied.

"Interesting. So you travel a lot?"

"Yeah, sometimes." He didn't really want to talk about the other mark on his arm and hoped the guy would just shut up and do the ink.

He got his wish and the man worked on him while Hermione watched with much curiosity.

"Does that hurt?" she asked him.

"A little. But it's nothing like the last one."

"Do you think I can handle the pain?"

He thought back to a really ugly moment in his life when Hermione was lying on his floor being tortured by his aunt. The horrifying images flashed through his mind and he closed his eyes and rubbed them with his free hand to try and dispel them.

"Draco? Did you hear me? Do you think I can handle the pain?" Hermione asked again when he didn't answer her.

"Yeah, you can handle it. Trust me, you've suffered worse," he looked at her somewhat sadly.

She suddenly realized what he must be thinking about by the haunted look in his eyes. She didn't want to think about what it was like to be tortured again. It was the stuff her nightmares were made of. But getting a tattoo seemed easy in comparison.

"I'll be brave then. I won't chicken out," she told him as she leaned over and put her arm around his shoulders.

Once the man was done with Draco, Hermione sat down in the chair. She'd chosen to get it on her ankle. She stuck her leg out and rolled up her jeans and let the man get started. Once the imprint was on her skin, he began to outline it with the needle gun. She flinched and made a face.

"Ouch! Oh God, this kind of sucks," she cried.

"Just relax. It'll be okay," Draco said soothingly.

She grabbed his hand and held it tightly. He didn't have the heart to tell her that she was hurting him and he just let her squeeze away. But eventually her grip loosened and she relaxed into the sensations she was feeling. It hurt, but it wasn't unbearable. Draco was right, she'd suffered much worse before. When it was all over she was really excited and happy that she'd actually gone through with it. She kept looking at it and admiring it.

"I love it. It's so completely nothing I would ever do, and yet I did it. I feel like I can do anything right now," she said with exuberance.

"You really like being bad, don't you?" Draco asked with a smile.

She shrugged. "It's rather fun. I always seem to have fun with you."

"Am I more fun than Potter?"

"More fun than Harry? Definitely. He would never let me get a tattoo."

"He sounds dull. Is he dull?"

"No, he's not dull. But he'd never do this, that's for sure."

"Come on, let's pay for these and get out of here," Draco said taking her hand and leading her back up to the front of the shop.

Draco took out his credit card again and plunked it on the counter. Hermione protested.

"I can pay for my own," she told him.

"Nonsense. This was my idea so it's my treat. Don't worry about it."

She just leaned over and kissed him. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Whatever you want, I'll give it to you. Just say the word," he grinned at her and kissed her back.

"Anything I want? That's a pretty broad statement. What if I want an airplane like you asked for?"

"What would you do with an airplane?" he laughed.

"Fly it places. I don't know. What else would I do with it?"

He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "That's what brooms are for."

She whispered back to him. "But I want an airplane."

He just laughed and put his arm around her and they left the shop after he signed the credit slip. They walked the street like that together and both of them were feeling happier than they had in a long while.

"You know, you really don't have to buy me things to make me like you more," she told him.

"Is that why you think I buy you things?"

"Maybe. Is it?"

"No. I buy you things because I want to and because I can. I don't expect it to make you like me more."

"Well that's good, because that's a dumb way to get a girl to like you. Then you'd always wonder if it was really you she liked or just your money," she told him.

"Believe me, I know what that feels like. With other people, I know that most of them didn't like me. They just wanted to be around me because I was rich. You had it right that one time when you said I bought my way onto the Quidditch team in school. I did. That's the only reason they let me play. I just didn't expect you to actually throw that one in my face," he said recalling the incident.

"You don't have to buy your way into my life. In fact you're like a sneaky little thief, stealing your way into my life. I don't know how you got here, but suddenly here I am with my arms around you and a shiny new tattoo on my ankle. I know you can do magic, but what sort of magic have you done to me to make me lose my head this way?" she asked with a smile.

"I haven't done any magic on you. In fact, I've acted like a complete lout. I'm rude and I'm messy and I smoke and I drink too much and I'm a complete wreck of a person, and yet you're still here. I don't get it," he said shaking his head.

"I don't get it either. I just know that you make me feel things I've never felt before. You give me permission to be myself. For once, you're actually not judging me. You're supporting me. And it's weird, but I kind of love it."

"I kind of love how you still like me after all the dumb shit I've done and said and still continue to do and say. I'm so bad for you it's not even funny. But I don't want to let you go."

They stopped walking and she looked into his eyes. She touched his face and smoothed the hair out of his eyes and smiled at him.

"You're a beautiful fucked up man and I don't want to let you go either," she whispered to him right before she kissed him madly right in the middle of the sidewalk. They finally came up for air when someone bumped into them and they got jostled out of their dreamland.

"Oops, I guess we were blocking the path," Hermione giggled.

"Let them go around us. Who cares?" He grabbed her and kissed her again and he didn't much care who witnessed it.

She finally pulled away from him and took his hand.

"Let's find a dark alley and get out of here. I want to take you home with me like a cute little stray puppy," she said patting him on the head.

He laughed at her and said, "I'm not a sodding puppy dog."

"Yes you are. Remember you told me that you followed me home before. You're like a puppy looking for a home."

"No, I was more like a fucking deranged stalker who refused to believe we'd only have one blissful night together. I wanted more," he set her straight.

"Okay, so maybe you were a little deranged, but I guess I like that in a person."

"Let's get out of here," he said as he grabbed her and pulled her into the first alley he found.

There was a homeless person sleeping on some trash bags but they figured he wouldn't notice them. So they quickly disapparated and ended up inside Hermione's apartment. It wasn't long before they were shedding their clothes as they kissed their way down the hall to her room. They were bumping into things and knocking them over, but they didn't even notice. They tumbled into her room and almost missed the bed. By this time, there was no stopping what was already set in motion. They both had a burning desire to be with each other and it almost hurt how badly their wanting was. Hermione had never felt this alive in her entire life and Draco had never once realized how dead he always felt until she awakened something inside him. They fed on each other, giving each other what they needed to survive. It was much more than just sex, it was so intense that they both felt like they were floating outside of their bodies and just watching the events unfold. When they were finally spent they both just laid there on the bed gasping for breath.

"My God woman, you make me so fucking happy. Do you know that?" he asked her breathlessly.

"I do?"

"Yes."

"You make me happy too."

"I do?"

"Yes, you do."

"I don't want this to ever end," he whispered in her ear as he nuzzled her neck.

"Who says it has to end?" she asked.

"I don't know. It's just that good things don't really happen to me as of late. I'm scared you'll wake up one day and realize that I'm not good enough for you," he admitted softly.

"Shh. Don't think like that. You are good enough. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I can make my own decisions, remember?"

He looked her in the eyes. "I remember. But do you really believe that? That we aren't just a temporary thing that you'll never want to share with the rest of the world?"

"I don't know. Don't worry about that now. Just know that I want to be with you. I'm embarrassed by how much I enjoy you." 

"Embarrassed? Why? There's nothing to be embarrassed by. You've brought light into my darkness and for that I'll never forget you," he uttered softly touching her face.

She didn't know what to say exactly so she just kissed him.

"Keep holding me," she told him.

"Always."

"Promise?"

"I would never lie to you."

"I hope not," she whispered as she snuggled up next to him. She had no idea where this was going, but she knew she'd never felt anything like it before. She'd never needed anyone the way she needed him. She was scared to admit it, even to herself. But it was true. In such a short time, she'd come to rely on his presence in her life. She just didn't know what to do with her feelings.

"You're mine," he whispered into her ear.

"I am?"

"Yes."

She just held him tightly and felt like she couldn't get close enough. His world was spinning around him. He was being way too honest and vulnerable to her and it was going to be the end of him. But he couldn't stop it. He'd harbored feelings for her since he was a boy but he'd never admit it. And now here she was. Right underneath him. In his arms. In his grasp. But she was so good and full of light and he was nothing but darkness. He didn't deserve her and he never had. He didn't know if he could keep her. But he wanted to try. He had to try. He needed her in his life. Without her, his life was bleak and empty. She brought a much needed light to him. She made it feel okay to be who he was. Faults and all. How he ever survived without her was a mystery to him now. But he didn't know what she really felt. And the truth was, she didn't know what she really felt either. Draco had given her something she'd never had. Permission to be whoever she wanted to be, without pressure of getting good grades or pleasing her family or her friends. He gave her unconditional acceptance and in return she gave the same to him. It was all new for both of them. And neither one of them knew how to handle it. All they could do was hold onto each other and sink into the world they created where no one judged them and nothing else mattered. But they both feared the eventual intrusion of real life and other people. And if that happened, they might lose what they both cherished so dearly. They were both terrified at the prospect, but neither would admit it. So they just clung to one another like a life raft. It was all they could do. And for now, no one else was going to ruin what they'd found in each other.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

They eventually fell asleep and Hermione was sleeping peacefully, dreaming of a world where she and Draco could be together without anyone thinking ill of it. That was the beauty of dreams. Anything was possible. But while she was blissfully slumbering, Draco was tossing and turning. He was plagued with a nightmare that felt like it would never end. Images of Hermione being tortured, pictures of his family lying dead at his feet, Voldemort laughing evilly and waving his wand around. And that big snake. He hated that snake. It was coming after him and he couldn't run fast enough. He knew Snape had died at the hands of Nagini and he feared the same fate. He had fallen to the ground and was crawling away from the snake as it slithered towards him. He could still hear Hermione screaming, only this time she was calling out for him to help her. He couldn't do anything. He was paralyzed with fear. And suddenly the snake got a hold of him and began striking at him as he tried to fend it off. Voldemort just watched with glee. And then he told Draco, "I will kill everything you love and then I'll watch as you die slowly." And then he laughed. He kept laughing and Draco kept screaming and then suddenly he woke up and sat straight up, not realizing he was actually screaming.

Hermione was jolted awake and utterly confused.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" she asked him sleepily.

He was panting for air and he was trying to shake the thoughts out of his mind. He ran his hands through his hair and tried to catch his breath.

"I'm fine. It was just a nightmare. Go back to sleep," he urged her softly, still shaken up.

She sat up and put her arm around him. "Draco, you're shaking. Are you really okay? What did you dream?"

"It's nothing. Just forget it. Please, just go back to sleep," he told her as he shook off her arm and tried to get a hold of himself.

She refused to let him push her away. "Tell me what it was. It obviously upset you greatly. Don't you trust me enough to tell me?"

"Of course I trust you. It's not that. It's just, it's not important. It was a stupid dream. I have them all the time. I'm used to them."

"You can tell me though, you know. I'll understand. Maybe I can help?" she offered.

He looked at her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "You can't help, love. I'm sorry. These dreams are just a part of me now. Some of it's real and some of it's not. It's all jumbled up. I just can't stop thinking about the shit that happened before. I mean, seeing you be tortured and watching Voldemort kill people. I can't get it out of my brain. I know I was a colossal fuckhead before, but I was never a killer. I wasn't evil. And he made me do things. You wouldn't understand. I was helpless. I never felt helpless before in my life. I was always in control of everything. I was the fucking boss. I was king. And he reduced me to shambles. I was a shell of a person. I'll never stop thinking of it," he said with tears in his eyes.

He was glad it was dark because he was hoping she wouldn't notice the tears, but she did. She lifted up her hand and wiped his tears gently and held him tightly.

"It's okay, Draco. It's all over now. I know that it was awful, but he can't hurt you again. He can't hurt any of us. He's dead. Stop punishing yourself for what he made you do," she told him gently.

"How does a person forget all that? How? I've never learned how. I used to think I was this fucking bad ass who didn't give a fuck about anyone or anything except myself. But that's bullshit. It was always bullshit. I just never knew how much I felt until he made me weak. He made me his puppet. I wanted power and he stripped me of everything. I was nothing anymore. Nothing at all. And my father. I know he was a bad man but I looked up to him. I thought he was amazing. But when I saw him reduced to ashes and nothing but a shell of a man, I had no idea what to do. I had no one to guide me. And my mother? She was a wreck. Our whole lives were ripped to pieces. We used to be somebody and suddenly we were peons. Dirt scraped off Voldemort's shoe. You don't know what that feels like."

She was right. She didn't know what it felt like. And she didn't entirely understand, but she could sympathize. She could still feel his pain. She just never imagined he'd let her see him so raw like this. It broke her heart.

"Draco, it's okay. I know that your life was turned upside down. So was mine. So was a lot of people's. We all suffered. But we're still alive. We made it. You made it. And you didn't sacrifice your soul to do it. He did not break you. He did not succeed in making you into a monster. He tried but he failed. You were stronger than even you knew you were. You were faced with a challenge that no one wanted and you couldn't do it. You couldn't kill anyone. Voldemort failed. He wanted to make you in his own image, but you were not like him. You never were. And you never will be. Please keep remembering that. You never lost yourself. You were brave. Brave enough to go against him despite his threats. That matters," she assured him.

"Then why do I feel like this? Why do I feel like he robbed me of something I'll never get back?" he asked tearfully.

"He robbed us all of something. Our innocence. Our childhoods. He took it away. But that doesn't mean we can't be strong now. Be brave. Live. For me. Stop blaming yourself. And stop blaming your parents too. It wasn't their intention for this to happen."

He looked at her with confusion. "Stop blaming my parents? How? It was my father's fault we got caught up in this evil wake. How do I forgive him for that?"

"You just do. I'm no fan of your father, believe me. But I know you love him deep down. And he loves you. And I know your mother loves you above all else. You can't deny that. Running away from them isn't the answer. Neither is self destructing. You're better than that."

"Hermione, I'm not what you think I am. I'm just not. I'm no good for you. I don't know why you're with me. You deserve better. And I don't deserve your forgiveness," he told her.

"Someone wise once told me that we don't forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because they need it. It's an act of compassion. And that's what I offer you. All is forgiven. I don't blame you. And I don't want you to blame yourself either," she said rubbing his back.

"Who was this wise person who told you that?"

"My mother."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I just wondered if it was maybe Dumbledore or something."

"No, it was my mum. She said it after some nasty bullies did something mean to me in grade school. Stupid Muggles. But she didn't want me to hold grudges. It's not healthy."

"You might be the only person who doesn't hold a grudge against me. Do you know what everyone was saying about me? About my family? People called us cowards. They called us traitors. People who were my friends suddenly didn't want to talk to me anymore. That's when I realized I was truly alone. No one gave a shit about me or my pain."

"I do. I give a shit. And I always will," she promised him.

"Why are you so good to me? I don't understand," he shook his head.

"I see the real you, Draco. I can forget the past because it's ancient history. I forgive people for their missteps because God only knows I've made my own. I obliviated my parents. They don't even know who I am. Who would do that? Who would be so foolish?"

"No, stop. You didn't know what would happen. You thought you could fix them when it was safe. It's not your fault," he told her.

"Yes, it is my fault. I messed with magic in a way that you're not supposed to do. I was careless and idiotic. But I only did it to protect my family. And you only did what you did to protect yours. We're not so different."

"We are different. You're good and I'm not. I'm so scared for the day when you realize that. I know we haven't been together long but I already can't imagine my life without you. Don't you understand? I'm terrified of the day when you decide to move on to someone more worthy and not completely fucked up."

"I don't want you to think that way. I realize this is all very new to us and I don't know where it's going. But I know that you're a part of me now. I won't lose you. You won't lose me. Just don't shut me out. And I promise I won't shut you out again. I'm horrible with that. I get scared and I panic and I just want to run away. But I don't want to do that with you. So don't let me, okay? Let's make a promise to each other not to shut each other out."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yes."

He leaned over and kissed her softly. "You're an amazing woman. Did anyone ever tell you that?"

"Not in so many words."

"Well it's true. I'm smitten with you, you realize," he told her averting his eyes from her.

"I'm quite smitten as well."

"You are?"

"Yes. Now please just lay back down with me. Let's go back to sleep. I want you to have pleasant dreams. Think of me. Think of us. Think of anything except whatever you were thinking before."

"I'll try. But will you hold me?" he asked quietly.

"Of course. I won't let you go."

He laid back down and she snuggled up to him and put her arms around him and held him tightly. She didn't know what she was doing but her heart ached for this broken man. She wanted to fix him. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to love him like he'd never been loved before. But she was scared out of her mind. In her life, she'd only loved one person and she never thought she'd love another. But this was different. It felt different. She'd never felt such need before or compulsion to be with someone. This felt unnatural but at the same time, it was the only thing she knew how to feel. Draco was lost as well. He didn't want to admit that he needed anyone in his life. He was content to just be alone and live as he had for the last year or so. He wanted no attachments. But he had formed one anyway. One that he was scared of because it meant so much to him. In just a short time, he felt like she was his life. And that was a dangerous way to feel. He hated it, but he didn't know how to stop it. It was already in motion. And all he could do was hold on for the ride.

When Draco woke up the next morning he rolled over to find the bed empty. Hermione was gone. He looked at the clock and realized it was almost ten. He supposed she'd just woken up a lot earlier. But his first instinct was to try and distance himself from her because he felt stupid about all the things he'd told her during the night. His dream had prompted him to have a small nervous breakdown and he'd embarrassed himself greatly. He covered his head with the pillow and didn't want to come out again. But he knew he had to. They'd promised each other not to shut the other person out. He had to go against his instincts and just be a man about it. So what if he'd broken down? So what if she saw him actually cry? He was only human. But it still sucked. The last person to walk in on him crying was Harry and he'd tried to crucio him before he could even dare to utter a word about what he'd witnessed. But he wasn't going to curse Hermione. He had to just get up and face her and hope that she didn't think he was a total fool.

He pulled himself out of bed and put his pants on. He went out to the living room and saw Hermione was in the kitchen.

"Good morning sleepy head," she smiled at him.

"Morning. Do you have coffee?" he wondered sleepily.

"Yes, I do. And I'm also making eggs and toast."

"Sounds good."

"Are you feeling better this morning than you were in the night?" she asked cautiously.

"I feel fine. Just a little stupid, is all. I didn't really want you to see me like that. It's embarrassing."

"Don't be embarrassed. It's just me. Who am I going to tell about it?"

"No one. But the fact that it was you who saw me break down like a fool is horrifying. I'd rather you think better of me," he admitted.

"I think better of you now than I did beforehand. You really opened up to me and showed me how you feel. You're not dead inside or uncaring about everything. You're just hurting. And that's nothing to be ashamed of. You need someone to talk to, Draco. You've been alone for so long. Let me be that person. You were that person for me. You listened to my troubles," she reminded him.

"Yeah I did. But that was different. Your troubles were just about who your ex was dating. My troubles should come with a warning label."

"I've got more troubles than just my stupid ex and his new bimbo, believe me."

"I guess we all have our baggage to carry with us."

She down a plate of food in front of him on the counter. "We all do. And the older you get, the more baggage you pick up. That's life. Now stop feeling silly about it and just eat."

"Okay. If you say so."

"I do say so. Think of me as your safe haven. You can be as real and honest as you need to be and I'll keep it safe."

"You know I offer you the same thing, right? A safe haven?" he told her seriously.

"I do know that. And I'm grateful for it."

"Are you gonna eat with me?" he asked, deciding to change the subject because he didn't want to dampen the mood..

"Yes of course," she smiled as she took her plate and sat down next to him at the counter.

They ate in silence for a time, both of them feeling slightly awkward at how close they had become the night before. A lot of feelings were shared and promises were made, and it was all a little bit scary for both of them. Hermione was nervous that her feelings for him were too much, too soon. How could she go from hating him one minute to feeling like she never wanted to leave his side, the next minute? She didn't understand her own feelings, but they were real and true. And it was quite obvious he had some very strong feelings of his own to deal with too. But he finally broke the silence because he couldn't stand it anymore.

"So I was thinking that I wanted to go shopping for a camera. I don't have one," he told her as he finished up his food.

"You don't have a camera?"

"No. My parents had one but I never had my own. I never saw the need of it. But looking around your flat, I realized I like the pictures you have. Maybe I need some pictures?"

"That's a good idea. Pictures would make your flat seem a bit more homey and less gloomy."

"Yeah, I want pictures. Lots of them. I should get a camera."

"We'd probably have to go to Diagon Alley if you want to do that. Unless you just want a Muggle camera?" she asked.

"No, I want a good camera. Muggle photos are so boring. They don't do anything."

"Have you been to Diagon Alley lately?" she wondered.

"Yeah, I go there all the time when I need money. That's where the bank is, remember?" he pointed out.

"Oh, I was just wondering. I wondered if maybe you ever worried someone there would see you and tell your parents. Or you might even run into them."

"Don't worry. No one ever notices me. I usually wear a hat and some dark glasses and just go about my business. Luckily I've never run into anyone I knew, probably because a lot of them are in prison now. And I've never seen my parents there, thank God."

"But you could. What if they went to the bank at the same time you did?" she asked.

"Then I'd probably get the fuck out of there and hide."

"Someday you'll need to face them again," she said seriously.

"Why? Because you want me to forgive my father and make nice again?"

"Yes."

"What if he doesn't want to be forgiven? It's not like he ever asked me to forgive him. He asked me to paint over the ugly parts and forget anything ever happened. It's not as if he were on his knees begging me for forgiveness and I just walked out. He won't admit he did anything wrong."

"That does sound like him," she admitted. "But what about your mum? You know she must be worried sick about you."

"Love, I know you mean well, but please do drop this subject. I left home for a reason. And if and when I do go back there, it'll be in my time. Don't push it," he warned her.

"Alright, I'll shut up about it. I don't know why I'd push you to see them anyhow seeing as they would absolutely have a coronary if they knew you and I were seeing each other. But I guess I just miss my own parents and I keep projecting that onto you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It's fine. I just need to be on my own right now. I don't want to see them. And my mum might be worried, yes. But they certainly know I'm alright. You don't think my father isn't monitoring my bank account? He knows I take out money all the time so clearly I'm not dead. He just doesn't know where I am," he explained.

"You think he monitors your account?"

"I know he does. When I turned eighteen he handed over my trust fund account but he told me very clearly that I wasn't to spend foolishly and he'd be watching it to make sure I didn't buy anything stupid with it."

"If he has access to it, why hasn't he just cut you off?" she wondered.

"Because he loves me, that's why," Draco admitted with a sigh.

"Well you're lucky to have parents who love you, even if they kind of suck."

"I'm really sorry you miss your mum and dad. I wish I could fix that mess for you."

"It's okay. Let's not think about that, shall we? Let's get dressed and go camera shopping," she smiled at him.

They got themselves ready and Draco told her he wanted to go by his place to get new clothes. So she went with him there and was highly impressed with how clean the place looked. There wasn't any dirty laundry lying about or any old food. And it barely smelled like cigarettes either.

"I'll just be a minute," he told her as he headed to the bedroom to change.

She sat down on the couch and was no longer afraid of what might be lurking under the cushions. Draco was quick, as promised, and he came out wearing a knitted hat pulled low over his face and he had sunglasses in his hand. Plus he was wearing a jacket that covered his arms up so no one would see the Dark Mark.

"You look cozy. You're going to be hot in that outfit," she pointed out.

"I'll be fine. Plus I'll just take this shit off once we leave Diagon Alley."

"Do you really need a disguise? Do you think people would say bad things to you?"

"I don't really want to take that chance. I've not been spotted in the Wizarding community in over a year. I'm rather happy that everyone seems to think I've vanished off the face of the earth. It's better than getting glared at everywhere you go."

She didn't really understand his need to hide from everyone, but she went along with it. She didn't know what sort of reaction he would get amongst other wizards, but if he said it was unpleasant, then she believed him. She rather thought that by now no one would really care anymore. But maybe she was wrong and much more forgiving than the average person?

They set off to Diagon Alley and the place was incredibly busy. School was starting up soon and families were already getting items for their kids to get a jump on things. She held his arm as they walked through the street and she smiled widely.

"Look at all these kids and how excited they seem. Some of them look young enough that I bet it's their first time to Hogwarts. I remember how excited I was to come here for the first time. It was the most amazing place I'd ever seen," she told him happily.

"It must have been rather shocking for you and your family though. I mean you were Muggles. Did you think all of this magic shit was completely insane?"

"I didn't think so, but my parents were another story. They did not want me to go to Hogwarts. Not at first. I had to convince them pretty hard. But once we got here and they saw all these things and met some of the people, they warmed up to the idea."

"We're they scared of this stuff?" he wondered curiously.

"Not scared, but more like disbelieving. But they got over it."

"I've been coming here ever since I was little. But it still seemed special to me, even if I grew up with magic all around me. I was pretty thrilled when I finally got my first wand. That was the best moment I remember having here," he recalled fondly.

"That _was_ exciting. I tried out loads of them until I got the perfect one."

"Yeah, I had the perfect one. But I remember your best buddy Potter stole it from me. He never gave it back. I had to get a new one. Do you know what he did with mine?"

Hermione shook her head. "I have no idea. I think he probably still has it."

"You think it's like a cherished memento for him? The time he disarmed the evil Draco Malfoy? He probably takes it out and laughs over the memory of it."

"I'm sure he doesn't do that."

"I wouldn't put it past him. But that's okay, I have a good wand now. Better than the first one. I think I changed and a different wand suited me anyway."

They walked near George's joke shop and saw the glitzy over the top sign and Hermione noticed the place was packed full.

"Have you ever been inside there?" Hermione asked, pointing to the shop.

"You think I'd go into a Weasley's shop? Are you mad? Especially a shop filled with items of destruction and mayhem. I'd probably get blown up on sight. In case you forgot, love, your ex and his family hate me."

"Right. I know. I just wondered if you'd snuck a peek. It's fun in there. I have no use for most of the stuff since it's all silly childish pranks, but I used to go there a lot just because Ron did. He'd help out sometimes."

"Yeah? Well we're not going in there. I mean, you can. If you wanna say hi to what's his name who runs the place, but I'll wait here."

"No, that's okay. I'm not exactly real popular with the Weasley clan myself these days."

"Why, because you dumped one of them?"

"Sort of. Not like it really matters. He's all moved on now. And really it wasn't just my decision. Ron agreed that we weren't working well together. So I don't see why they'd blame me, but they do."

"Who needs them anyway, right?" 

"Right. I don't need them. Even if they were like a second family to me. And now that I have no family I rather miss them. I miss Ron's mum. She was so great," Hermione said wistfully.

"Well maybe someday they'll get over it all and you can see them again? I mean if Ron's with some bimbo now then they'd see he's perfectly fine and not emotionally scarred by you or anything."

"I don't know. We'll see. It's complicated because Harry is with Ginny, and that's Ron's sister of course. And she wasn't real pleased with the break up, but she understood. And it's like I want to spend time with Harry, but then I have to see Ginny too. It's awkward. So I just stay away."

"Sounds like a good plan to me. What do you need Potter for when you've got me, right?" he asked with a smirk.

"He's still my friend. That's not going to change. But we are a bit distant now. He thinks I'm dating some older man I met in the city."

"What? Why?"

"Because that's what I told him. I told Ron that too. And now I can't remember if I said his name was Jim or John. I hope they don't ask me about him again," she fretted.

"Why'd you tell them you were seeing anyone at all? What business is it of theirs?"

"I wanted to let Ron know I moved on too. I had to say something."

"But you'd never tell them the truth right?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The truth? Are you serious? They'd probably lock me up in St. Mungo's."

He stopped walking and faced her. "So you're really never going to tell them about us?"

"Did you want me to? I rather thought you liked things the way they were. Just us. No intruders."

"True. I do like it that way. But what if I stick around for awhile? They're gonna find out."

"How? I'm not telling them. Are you gonna tell them?" she asked pointedly.

"I'm not planning to see them any time soon, so, no. I'm not."

"Well then it doesn't matter. Besides it's my life. I can do what I please."

"Yes you can," he told her, feeling slightly put out that she wasn't willing to tell her friends about him. But then again, why would he want her to do that? It would ruin everything. It was probably better just as it was.

"Oh look! Here's the photo shop," Hermione said pointing at a store in front of them.

They went inside and Draco glanced around to see who else was in the store but he didn't recognize anyone. He got to work looking at the different camera selections and finally settled on a compact and efficient model that he could easily shove in his pocket and take anywhere with him. He was determined to make some memories with this device and he didn't want to miss a thing. He went up to the counter and paid for the item and the man happily gave him the bag. They walked out and continued to stroll along the street together.

"Where to next? Anyplace else you want to look at here?" Hermione asked.

"No, I'm good. But I do need to go to the bank. I just used all my wizard money on the camera and my Muggle funds are getting low too. Do you mind if we go in there?"

"That's fine with me. I should probably get some more cash of my own. I need to grocery shop and I'm a bit low myself."

They strolled over towards the huge bank but Hermione stopped them abruptly. She grabbed Draco's arm and ushered him inside a candy shop hurriedly.

"What are you doing? I thought we were going to Gringotts? Did you suddenly get a sweet tooth craving?" he asked her confused.

She peered out the window and looked at him. "I saw Ron out there. He was walking towards the joke shop."

"Is he with the bimbo? I wanna see this bint," Draco said peering out the window with her.

"No, he's alone."

"I don't see him."

"He's right over there. He stopped to look at something. He's by the book shop."

Draco looked out again and then he finally spotted the Weasel. The orange hair was glowing in the sun. Draco didn't understand what Hermione ever saw in him. He wasn't a troll or anything but she could do better. She was too pretty for him. And way too smart. He always struck Draco as being a bit dim. She needed someone better. Preferably him. But he knew deep down he wasn't good enough for her either.

"How long are we going to hide out in here?" he asked her.

"Until he walks away. I don't know what he's doing looking at a book shop. He doesn't even like books."

"Let's just go out there and go to the bank. He won't see us. The bank is over there."

"He might see us."

"Fine, we can stand here all day and spy on him."

"Look he's finally walking away. Thank God. Let's hurry before he decides he needs money too."

She grabbed his hand and they literally ran out of the store. The shopkeeper probably thought they stole a bunch of sweets and stuffed them in their pockets. They darted across the crowded street and ran into the bank.

"Was it really necessary for us to run?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes. And you wouldn't be so out of breath if you didn't smoke," she admonished him.

"I'm getting my money," he told her, ignoring her comment.

They both did their banking business and Hermione was insanely curious how much money he got out of his vault but she didn't want to ask him. All she knew was that when they were converting it over to Muggle money, it seemed like an awful lot. But she supposed he didn't want to make a lot trips to Diagon Alley and wanted enough to live on for awhile. She got out her meager funds and put them away in her purse.

"Ready to go? I'm getting hot in this hat and jacket. I need to get back to the city where it's safer."

"I'm very ready to go. I just hope Ron isn't still out there."

"So what if he is? I'll hide for you so your big secret won't be blown."

"It's not just my secret, it's yours too. You don't want to be seen."

"Yeah, but by anyone who might tell my parents they saw me. Your ex isn't exactly chummy with my folks. I don't care if he sees me."

"Let's just hurry up and leave. We got what we came for." 

They walked back out onto the street and didn't see Ron anywhere. Hermione assumed he went to the joke shop to see his brother. So they steered clear of that place and quickly exited Diagon Alley and were back out onto safer streets. Draco took off his hat and then he stripped off the sweat jacket and tied it around his waist.

"Now what should we do?" she asked him.

"I dunno. We should do something fun so I can take pictures. I've got loads of film."

"Let's go to the park. It's pretty there. You could take pictures of trees or something."

"Trees? I don't wanna look at trees. They don't even move. I want to take pictures of you," he grinned.

"Me? You want pictures of me?"

"Of course. More importantly I'd like pictures of us."

"Us?"

"Yes. Is that so strange? You have loads of pictures of you and your ex stashed away in a drawer. Maybe I want some pictures too?" 

"How do you know I have those stashed in a drawer," she asked crossing her arms.

"I snooped a little," he shrugged.

"You are horrible. Don't snoop in my personal things! I don't snoop in yours. God only knows what you've got hidden in your drawers at home."

"What do you think I have hidden away? Dark artifacts or pictures of naked girls?"

"I don't know. You could have anything and I wouldn't know, because I'm not a snoop!"

"I didn't hurt anything. You didn't have any deep dark secrets to uncover. So what if I saw some pictures?"

"That's not the point."

"Fine, I'm a very bad man. Why don't you spank me?" he smirked at her.

She laughed over that. "Don't think I won't do that, because I will."

"I dare you."

She gave him a devious smile and then she reached over and smacked him on the bum as hard as she could.

"Ouch! Damn it woman, when you hit, you hit hard. How could such a little thing pack such a punch?" he laughed.

"I told you not to go there. I said I'd do it."

"Now my ass hurts. I think you damaged me," he complained.

"You'll live. Now let's go to the park and I promise I'll let you take my picture."

"Deal."

They set off together and the park wasn't a far stroll. There were lots of kids playing on the playground and they found a quiet spot on a bench under a tree and sat down.

"Did you ever used to swing when you were little?" she asked him.

"No, I never did. My parents would never take me to a Muggle park like this. In fact, we never went anywhere really. I played at home."

"And you had no swing set or slides or anything?"

"Nope. My father didn't know there was such a thing, I suppose. I didn't really know until I came here and saw how different life was outside my castle walls."

"Then you've never been in a bouncy house before either, have you?" she asked spying one set up across the way from them.

"I'm afraid not. I had a broom. I flew that around. That was my fun."

"Come on. Let's go to the bouncy house and shoo all the children away. It'll be fun."

"You want to kick the children out so we can play in it? Isn't that a bit crazy?"

"Yes, so let's do it," she urged him happily.

"Let me get this camera out of the box and set up. I need photos of this."

He busied himself getting the new camera ready and then he stashed the bag of film and his hat and jacket behind a tree. He looked around and saw that no one was paying attention to him and he cast a concealment charm so no one would find his things and pilfer them. Then he took Hermione's hand and they went to the bouncy house. It was actually set up for a birthday party and there were picnic tables filled with presents and cake and what looked to be about twenty six year olds.

"Oh look, cake!" she exclaimed to Draco.

"You're gonna crash some kids birthday party?" he laughed at her.

"Yes I am. They'll never know. There are loads of parents milling about. We could be parents too for all they know."

"So which kid are we adopting as our own should anyone ask us?" he wondered.

She scanned the crowd of children running about and playing in the bouncy house. Then she spied a little blonde boy with chocolate frosting all over his face.

"That one. He looks like he could be yours."

"But he's all messy. Surely my son would have better table manners."

"So then pick another one."

"No, he's fine. What's his name?" 

"I have no idea. We don't need to know his name. But if anyone asks us who we're with, we'll just point to him."

"What if his actual parents are the ones to ask us?" he pondered.

"Then we'd be in a bit of a pickle. But it's free cake. It's worth it."

They walked over to the table and both grabbed plates and loaded them up with cake. No one seemed to question their presence or who they were. Everyone was too busy looking after the children or chatting amongst themselves. But Draco made sure to take a picture of Hermione stealing the cake.

"Now I have proof that you're capable of doing bad devious things. Stealing cake from children? And people thought I was evil," he told her with a smirk.

"Oh stop. You're eating the stolen cake too."

"What do you expect? I'm bad. It's what I do."

"Yeah I bet your old Death Eater pals would be really scared of you right now for stealing cake."

"They weren't my pals."

"Well whatever, we pulled it off. This cake is delicious. Is this raspberry filling?"

"I think so."

Once they finished eating that, she urged him to climb into the bouncy house with her. He protested at first because there were too many kids in there.

"People will think we're nuts," he told her.

"We are," she grinned back at him and pulled him forcibly with her into the little opening of the house. They tumbled inside amidst all the kids and were both laughing uncontrollably because the force of the bouncing sent them into a bouncy heap in the middle of the house. They couldn't stand up at first. But they soon got themselves upright and were jumping right along with the children. They didn't seem to mind that adults were in the house with them. In fact, they rather liked it and kept laughing and urging them jump higher so that the kids would bounce off the floor like pieces of popcorn. Draco managed to snap a few photos of Hermione jumping like a lunatic and he was quite amused. But she grabbed the camera from him and made sure to get his picture too, just to prove that stuffy Draco Malfoy could do something childish and fun for once. Hermione had never seen him smile this much in all the years she'd known him. He was like a different person.

They finally tired of jumping and got out of the house, much to the children's dismay. They were having a blast having adults play with them. But they scurried out of there and ran to the picnic table again. There were sandwiches sitting on a tray and Hermione grabbed up a few and handed them over to Draco. Then she reached into a cooler and pulled out two sodas.

"Let's get out of here before someone asks us who we are," she told him, hurrying him along away from the party.

He reached over and grabbed two party hats off the table and held onto those as they walked away. She looked over at him.

"What are those for?" she asked.

He stopped and affixed the pointy hat to her head and smiled. "It's a party love. Look the part." Then he put the hat on his head and asked, "How do I look?"

"Like a complete moron."

"Mission accomplished."

They went and sat down under a tree and began eating their stolen food with the hats still on their heads. Draco pulled out his camera and went to sit next to Hermione. He leaned in close to her and held the camera up so they were both in the frame.

"Smile," he told her.

She couldn't help laughing as the camera went off. "That's gonna be a good picture," he told her.

After they were done eating they finally took off the silly party hats and set them aside. Hermione grabbed him up and started dragging him towards the elaborate play structure situated on the playground.

"Let's explore this. It's huge. Look how high up you can climb. And then there's that monster slide. We are so totally going down that. Maybe head first?" she said with excitement.

"How old are you, love? Seven?"

"Oh be quiet. You know this is fun. And you've never experienced the joys of a playground before. It's time to show you what you were missing as a child."

They went over and climbed up the play structure and crawled through tunnels and walked across rope bridges until they got to the top. Kids were pushing and shoving and instead of being annoyed, Draco found himself having the time of his life. Once they got to the opening of the biggest slide they waited their turn to go down it. Once the last child had disappeared, Hermione leapt into the tunnel head first and slid down quickly and out of sight. Draco could hear her laughter echoing as she went down and landed at the bottom face first in a pile of sand. He watched her get up and brush herself off and she called up to him.

"Hurry up! You're holding up the line. Just dive in and do it!"

He threw himself into the slide and was surprised at how fast it moved. Before he knew it he was spit out onto the ground and landed on his stomach in the sand. Before he could get up, some overzealous child came flying out of the tube and landed right on top of him.

"Bloody hell! Watch it, you dimwit!" he shouted at the child.

"Up yours blondie!" the little boy sneered at him and flipped him off.

"Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?" Draco asked, shocked to hear a small child speak to him that way.

"You heard me. You're too old to be playing on a slide anyway. If you can't handle it then get out of my playground."

"Are you seriously challenging me? What are you? Five?"

"No, I'm eight. And how old are you? Fifty?"

"Fifty? Are you mad? Do I look fifty? I'm twenty."

The kid kicked sand at Draco and gave him a dirty look before he just scurried away and ran back up the play structure. Draco picked himself off the ground and dusted himself off and looked at Hermione who was trying very hard to stifle laughter.

"Did you hear what that little shit said to me? _His_ playground? As if I can't be here too. He's only eight and he talks like that?"

"Honestly Draco, he reminded me of you. I could so see you saying that to someone when you were eight."

"I would not have."

"He even had your sneer down pat. Are you sure you didn't knock someone up when you were twelve? He could be your son."

"As if. No wonder my parents never let me play at a Muggle park. Muggle children are awful creatures."

"Not all of them. The ones in the bouncy house were fun."

"True. But still."

"Don't let him spoil your fun. Let's go on the swings." She grabbed his hand and ushered him off to where the swings were. She sat down in an empty swing and motioned for him to do the same. But when he sat down, he didn't know what to do.

"You have to put your back into it. Get some momentum going. It's easy. Just watch me," she told him.

He watched as she swung back and forth, higher and higher and he tried his best to mimic her. It took him a bit but he finally got the hang of it.

"This is fun," he told her with a smile.

"Told you it would be. Now hold on tight and lean back all the way and it'll feel like your head is spinning. It's almost like being drunk."

He did as instructed and felt like he was going to fall and land on his head and die. He straightened himself up quickly, but he did get a head rush out of it. He could see how these things were fun for children. They eventually got tired of the swinging and got off so the children would have a turn. They walked hand in hand back to the tree where Draco had hidden his things. He undid the charm and got his bag together.

"So now that you've reawakened my inner child, what do you say we have some grown up fun now?" he proposed.

"Like what?"

"Let's go to Sal's and play darts and drink."

"What's Sal's?"

"It's a bar I sometimes go to. They show Muggle sports games on the big telly on the wall. It's not a dive, I promise."

She agreed to go along with him and they set off out of the park. She'd had a lovely day with him, even if it was really juvenile and silly. But after his dark nightmares and his horrible feelings of guilt, she felt like he needed to do something completely silly and new to him. She had all these childhood memories of parks and swings and slides and all he remembered was riding a broom in his back yard all by himself. It sounded lonely to her. In fact his entire life sounded lonely to her. He even admitted he never had real friends. He didn't know what it was like to just hang out and have fun with another person. The fact that he'd never owned a camera before spoke volumes too. It meant there were no fond memories he wished to capture on paper for all of time. But now he wanted to do that. She'd given him something to capture and hold onto. It was probably the best gift she could ever give to him.

On Monday, Hermione had to leave the comfort of her dream world with Draco and head back into work. She didn't want to go but she knew she had to. She was committed to her job but it felt less important to her now. It was just a job now and not something she felt passionately about. She'd rather spend her time having fun. But then again, who wouldn't? She longed to live the way Draco did, just lounging about all day doing whatever he wanted. But since she wasn't independently wealthy, it was off to the drudges for her. She ran into Harry on her way to her office.

"Good morning," Harry smiled at her.

"Good morning, Harry. How was your weekend?"

"It was good. How about yours? Were you with John?"

"John? Oh yeah. We had loads of fun." Now she knew the name she'd given them at least. It wasn't Jim, it was John.

"I'd still like to meet him someday," Harry told her.

"You will. Someday. But right now, I want to keep a low profile."

"I understand. But you know you can tell me anything right? I'm still your best friend."

"I know." She felt nervous and awkward lying to Harry and she wished she could just tell him the truth. Her nerves got the best of her and she dropped her purse to the ground accidentally. "Oh damn," she muttered as she bent to pick it back up.

Harry reached down and helped her and then he spied the shiny new tattoo on her ankle.

"What is that?" he asked, pointing at the snake on her ankle.

"Oh this? It's a tattoo."

"A tattoo? Is it a stick on?"

"No, it's real. It was sort of whim I had. Do you like it?" she asked hopefully.

"Like it? It's weird. _You_ getting a tattoo? I never would have guessed," Harry said with some astonishment.

"Well I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm being more daring. It's fun."

"So what does the tattoo mean? It's a snake. Somehow I don't see you with a snake tattooed on your ankle. Do you suddenly have an affinity for Slytherin's or something," he joked.

She was momentarily stunned speechless. If Harry only knew how intimately she had an affinity for a Slytherin, he'd probably faint. But she regained her composure quickly.

"It's nothing to do with Slytherin, silly. It's an Orobourus. It means re-inventing yourself. Or like rebirth. I liked it," she explained.

"Rebirth?"

"Yeah. Time to shed the old Hermione and begin anew."

"What's wrong with the old Hermione? I liked her."

"Well hopefully you still like me. It's just that I'm not a little girl anymore. It's time to explore who I am and who I want to be. Maybe you don't get it," she shook her head.

"No, I get it. I think so anyway. You weren't happy with your life so you wanted something different."

"Exactly."

"So this new guy, he likes the tattoo?" Harry wondered with a raised eyebrow.

"It was his idea actually. He got his own. Only his was something different. But it was just a spot of impetuous fun."

"Impetuous is right. The Hermione I know never did anything impetuous."

"Well that Hermione was dull and boring."

"I thought she was just fine."

"Harry don't give me a hard time okay? It's just a tattoo. It's not as if I did something dangerous," she sighed.

"You're right. I'm being stupid. I like the tattoo. It's different."

Just then, Ron came walking up to them and Hermione instantly became uncomfortable. More so than she already was.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Ron asked trying to act like things weren't strained between him and Hermione.

"Hermione was just showing me her new tattoo."

"Harry!"

"What? Is it a secret? It's right there on your leg. Anyone can see it," he protested.

Ron looked down and noticed it. "A tattoo? What's with you? That's so bizarre," he shook his head.

"It's not bizarre. Loads of people get them. It's not a big deal."

Ron bent down to examine it. "It's a snake eating itself. What the hell does that mean? And why would you get a tattoo of a snake?"

"My God you two! You act as if I ran out and robbed a bank. And Ron, if you must know, it's an Orobourus. It's symbolic. And I happen to love it."

"An Orowhatis?" he asked confused.

"Orobourus. Look it up if you're interested. I have to get to work," she said turning on her heel and walking away from the two of them.

They just stood there dumbfounded and watched her walk away.

"What has gotten into her?" Ron asked Harry.

"I have no idea. I think it's this new guy she's seeing. She said the tattoo was his idea."

"His idea? Well I don't like him."

"You don't even know him."

"Yeah, but I already don't like him. He's making Hermione act weird," Ron told him.

"She was already acting oddly before. That's why you two ended things. I think she's just finding herself," Harry defended her.

"Finding herself. Yeah, that's what she told me she wanted to do. But I don't understand. What's there to find?"

"I don't know. I mean, she has been pretty straight laced and uptight her whole life. Maybe she's just relishing the freedom of being an adult?" Harry offered.

"Well I'm relishing that too, but I'm not getting tattoos put on me or breaking up with the supposed love of my life over it. I mean she told me we were forever. And then suddenly it's like everything I did pissed her off. So what if I kept wanting to get married? Don't girls like that?"

"I don't think she's ready for that, Ron. You scared her off."

"Bollocks. She was already gone. One foot halfway out the door when we were together. I just couldn't reach her anymore. She pushed me away. After all we went through together and then she just chucks it out the sodding window to go find herself," Ron said bitterly.

"Cut her some slack. Besides you're with Sarah now. Aren't you happy?" Harry asked him.

Ron shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, Sarah is great and all, but I don't know that I love her. She's kind of like Lavender. Clingy and always wanting to shag and never talk."

Harry laughed slightly. "Poor you. Getting shagged all the time must be rough on you."

"Shut up. I wasn't exactly complaining. I just meant there's no substance there. She's not Hermione," he said with some sadness and regret in his voice.

"No one is Hermione. But look on the bright side. You don't have to marry Sarah. Just enjoy the ride. There are loads of girls out there and you're a great bloke. Eventually you'll meet the right person. You're still young."

"I know I'm young, but my parents were already married by now. I figured that would be me too. I expected to have a baby coming soon. And here I am shagging some secretary from Magical Creatures who I'm not sure even knows the entire alphabet. I'm used to being with someone smart and witty."

"Who knows? Maybe Hermione will dump this John person and come back to you? It could happen. Maybe she'll find herself and realize what she gave up with you?" Harry offered.

"Maybe? But what if he's really good looking and smart and charming and rich? He could be rich."

"So what? Hermione doesn't care about money. Besides you're all of those things you said, except the rich part. But you're not exactly a pauper. You make an honest wage."

"I guess. I just wish I knew who this guy was. An older guy. What does she want with an older guy anyway? An older guy who makes her get snakes tattooed on herself. Oh god, what if he was a Slytherin?" Ron asked Harry.

He shrugged. "I kind of joked to her about it being a Slytherin looking tattoo and she brushed that off. So he's probably not. She wouldn't date an ex Slytherin."

"Wouldn't she? I mean, she's all weird now. I wouldn't put it past her."

Harry looked at the clock on the wall. "Damn, it's late. I have to get to my office. And so do you. Just relax about Hermione. I'm sure she's fine. And you just keep enjoying Sarah and try not to think too much about it."

"Alright. I suppose I shouldn't dwell on the past."

"That's the spirit. Now let's get to work before we get in trouble."

They walked off together and both tried to forget Hermione's odd behavior. Harry knew she had a rough time of things once it became clear her parents couldn't be fixed. That's what started her downhill spiral. That's when she started to shut down and push people away. He understood her pain, never having a real family himself. And yet she had one and they were stripped away from her by her own foolish hand. They may not be dead like Harry's parents were, but they were essentially the same. They were never coming back. And Harry knew that Ron hoped if they made their own family, she'd get over it faster. But that had only made her run faster. Harry just wished he knew this guy she was seeing. He didn't like the secrecy. But he supposed it wasn't his business so he'd just keep his nose out of it and hope that the tattoo was the last of the crazy things Hermione did.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

Several weeks went by and Draco and Hermione were spending all of their free time together. He'd come over in the evenings and often spend the night. And on weekends they'd set about doing errands or just going to various restaurants and pubs inside the city. Each day, they seemed to grow closer. And each day, neither one of them could imagine a future without the other one in it. Draco still drank a lot in the evenings, but not like he used to. And never alone anymore. And he'd given up the cigarettes too. He was trying to get his shit together so he wasn't such a wreck of a person and Hermione was helping him to do that. When he didn't believe in himself, she was there to believe in him. He no longer woke up every day depressed to be alive. He felt true happiness for the first time in his whole life. But it scared him witless. It was all so precarious to pin your happiness on another person. He'd never done that before and he wished that he could have remained untangled from her because it was less scary. But he couldn't help how he felt. He had fallen hard for Hermione. And he wasn't positive, but he was pretty sure she'd fallen hard for him too. And yet not a single person knew about them together. It was their little secret. And Draco wondered if it would be like that forever. Not that he was eager for her friends to challenge their romance, but he was a bit saddened that she didn't feel like she could tell anyone. But he supposed he couldn't blame her for that. He wasn't exactly the guy her friends would have picked for her.

Her birthday was soon and he wanted to plan something special for her. A girl only turns twenty one once. He wanted something she'd always remember. But she had informed him that Harry wanted to throw a birthday party for her. That clashed with his plans.

"Why do you have to go to Harry's party? We could have much more fun by ourselves," Draco told her after just hearing the news.

"I can't skip out on my own birthday party, Draco. It would be suspicious. I have to go."

"But what if I already made plans for us?"

"You have?"

"Yes, I have."

"Well can't we change them? We could do whatever you wanted to do the next day. So what if it's not on my actual birthday? It'll still count," she offered.

"I guess so. But birthdays are special. They should be spent with someone special."

"Harry is special to me," she told him quietly.

"More special than me?" he asked feeling hurt.

"No, of course not. You're both special. Just in different ways. I've barely spoken to Harry in weeks and if I skip the party he'll really think I've gone crazy and rogue. He would be hurt."

"Fine, go to the stupid party. Will Ron be there?"

She sighed. "I don't know. Probably."

"I don't like that. I don't like you partying with your ex."

"I'm sure he's bringing his new girl, so it won't matter."

"I don't see why I can't go," Draco pouted.

"You want to go? Are you mad?"

"No. Everyone thinks you're seeing some old guy. Won't it be weird if you show up dateless to your own party?"

"Well I can't bring you. They'd never understand. There's a time and a place to break the news to them, but my birthday party isn't it."

"What if I decide to crash it? Then what?" he asked her with a devious smile.

"Crash the party? You don't even know where Harry lives."

"Yes I do. Doesn't he live at that old house Sirius gave him?"

"How do you know about that?"

He shrugged. "I know plenty. You guys hid out there. It was charmed, of course, so no one could see it. But I heard about it. When someone inherits a house from a dead relative of mine, word gets around."

"I forgot Sirius was related to you."

"Yeah he was my mum's cousin. That house should have stayed in the Black family and not be passed to Harry."

"What do you care? As if your family wanted to live there."

"Still. But anyway, I know where it is. And I assume that it's not charmed anymore since there's no big bad in town now."

"You are not crashing the party. I will kill you if you do. Don't ruin this for me. I'm sorry if it messed with your plans, but I need to do this," she explained to him seriously.

"Fine. I'll stay away. If you're really that ashamed of me, I won't ruin your sodding party," he said angrily as he stood up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked him.

"I'm going home. I don't feel like being here tonight. I need some space."

"Draco, stop being like that."

"Maybe I don't want to be your dirty little secret anymore? Maybe I want to be a part of your life?"

"You are a part of my life."

"Just the ugly part that you keep hidden away from everyone else."

"You're not the ugly part. Draco, please just understand that I love what we share. I don't want it to be ruined. And my friends will ruin it. You know they will. I just want to preserve what we have," she pleaded with him.

He softened his stance and ran his hands through his hair. "Alright. I get it. They'd ruin it. You're probably right."

"I know I'm right. I promise you that we'll do whatever you want to do another day. And when I get home from the party. I won't be there all night. We'll still have time to be together. You can wait here for me," she offered him.

He went over to her and put his arms around her. He leaned down and kissed her. "I just don't like having to share you, that's all."

"It's just a few hours and then I'll be home. We'll celebrate then," she smiled at him.

"Okay. But my plans were bigger than that. I guess you'll just have to wait and see what they were," he smiled back at her.

"Did you buy me that airplane I wanted? Are we flying to France?" she asked hopefully.

He laughed. "No, it doesn't involve an airplane. It's a secret. I'm not giving it away."

"I can hardly wait to find out."

He kissed her again and didn't want to let her go. He didn't know why it was bothering him so much that she wouldn't tell her friends about him. It's not like he actually wanted to go to a party at Harry's house. Far from it. He just hated the fact that she felt the need to keep it quiet. It was embarrassing really, but it actually hurt his feelings. He was used to a girl being proud to be on his arm. He didn't know how to react being someone's secret. But he could hardly blame her. Her friends weren't exactly open minded and eager to envelop Draco into their lives. And he didn't know if he wanted to be a part of their group anyway. He'd always hated them and the feeling was quite mutual. Hermione was different though. He wanted her in his life. He just wasn't sure he wanted the rest of her gang to invade his life. She was probably right that it was a bad idea. If they were going to come between them, then he wanted no part of that.

The day of her birthday arrived and she knew she had to be at Harry's by six. They were having dinner and cake. Nothing too elaborate. But he promised her presents and he was pleased that she was actually coming over for a change. It had been way too long since she'd visited him. Draco sat on Hermione's couch and waited for her to get ready to go. He'd already wished her happy birthday, but he was saving his present for later after she got home. She walked out and had put on a nice dress for the occasion.

"You look great," he told her with a smile.

"Thanks. I shouldn't be there too long. Maybe a few hours? You can watch my telly if you want."

"I will. And I have this to keep me company," he said holding up a bottle of whiskey.

"Don't get too drunk. At least be awake when I get home," she pleaded with him.

"I will be. Now go have fun," he told her as he went over and gave her a kiss.

"I will. See you soon."

Once she was gone Draco sighed and leaned back into the couch. He'd gotten so spoiled always being around her that he hated being alone now. He'd even bought a pack of cigarettes. The first pack in over a month. But he was craving them right now. But he debated whether or not to open the pack up or not. He'd been so good lately, he'd hate to ruin his streak. But he was still drawn to things that were bad for him. He couldn't help it. He ripped the pack open and climbed out onto her fire escape and stood there as he lit up. He smiled as the smoke filled his lungs and he blew it out happily. Now that felt better, he thought. A good nicotine buzz could work wonders on your nerves. He had a long boring evening ahead of him until she got back.

Hermione showed up at Harry's and he ushered her inside.

"Happy birthday!" he told her with a smile and gave her a hug.

"Thank you."

"So how does it feel to be twenty one?"

"Pretty much the same as twenty."

"So where is your mystery man? I thought you'd bring him with you," Harry asked.

"Oh no. He couldn't come. He was busy."

"Busy? Doing what? It's your birthday. Doesn't he know that?"

"Yeah, he knows. But he had to work," she lied.

"Work? What does he do?"

"Um, he does something with money. I don't know."

"Money? You don't actually know what he does for a living? That's a bit odd," Harry said with confusion.

"He doesn't like to talk about his work much."

Just then Ginny entered the room and saved her from this conversation. She came over and hugged her and wished her a happy birthday.

"I'm so glad you made it over for dinner. I baked a cake too. I hope it's as good as the one's my mum makes," Ginny told her.

"I'm sure it'll be great," Hermione smiled.

"So where's your new boyfriend? Harry said he thought you'd bring him."

"He's busy."

"Oh. Well that's disappointing."

There was a knock at the door and Ginny went to get it. It was Ron and Sarah. Hermione sighed and tried to put on a happy face for them. It's not as if she were jealous, it was just awkward. But the two of them were trying to remain on friendly terms as much as they could. Ron walked over and smiled at Hermione.

"Happy birthday."

"Thanks. So this must be Sarah. We've never actually been introduced." Hermione held out her hand to the blonde girl and they shook lightly.

"It's nice to meet you. Ron talks fondly of you."

"He does?"

"Yeah, he tells me all about the adventures you three had. It's quite fun to hear about," she told her pleasantly.

"Well that's good. Harry, do you have something to drink by chance?" she asked over her shoulder, not really wanting to converse with Sarah all that much.

"Yeah, we've got wine. Do you want wine? Or just a soda or something?"

"Wine would be great. Thanks."

Harry took drink orders from Ron and Sarah too and then he headed off to the kitchen, leaving Hermione alone with the two of them.

"So, did you bring what's his name with you?" Ron asked curiously.

"No. Everyone keeps asking me that. He was busy. He couldn't make it."

"Oh. That's too bad. I wanted to meet him. That's pretty lame that he missed your birthday party. You'd think he'd make a point to celebrate with you."

"We plan to celebrate later on. It's not a big deal."

Harry came out with the drinks and Hermione was relieved. She needed some alcohol right about now. Soon someone else came to the door and in walked Luna and Neville. She hadn't realized they'd be at the party. She was pleased to see them. It had been quite some time since she'd seen either of them. She went over and hugged them both.

"I'm so happy you guys showed up! How have you been?"

They exchanged pleasantries and a few laughs and then it was soon time to eat. Hermione felt a little awkward being the only one there without a date. Everyone was busily chatting up their significant others and she just kind of sat there in silence, pretending to be listening to them all. She sipped her wine and then she excused herself from the table for a moment and went into the bathroom just to get away for a bit. Back at the table, everyone had something to say.

"Did you know that Hermione doesn't even know what her boyfriend does for a living?" Harry asked the crowd.

"She doesn't?" Ron asked.

"No, she said it was something to do with money. Do you think he's a gangster or something?" Harry wondered.

"Like a drug dealer? No way. She wouldn't go out with someone like that," Ron disagreed.

"Maybe there is no guy?" Luna piped up.

They all turned to her and stared.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked her.

"Well she is very secretive about him. And she doesn't know what he does for a living. And when I asked her his name she had to think about it for a moment. I think she's making him up," Luna reasoned.

"Why would she do that?" Harry wondered.

"Well Ron has Sarah now and maybe she wanted someone too? So she made up a story."

"Do you really think Hermione would be that desperate?" Ron asked.

Luna shrugged. "Stranger things have happened."

"Well I think he's just bad news and that's why she won't bring him around. He's probably not even a wizard. He's probably in a Muggle biker gang," Ron said.

"Hermione with a Muggle biker? Are you nuts?"

"Do you have a better explanation? I mean, he got her to get a tattoo."

"I quite like the tattoo myself," Luna said dreamily.

"But it's not something Hermione would ever do. Obviously he's a bad influence. Once she came back to work from lunch and she smelled like cigarettes," Ron pointed out.

"So? Maybe she was in a café where people were smoking?" Harry pointed out, defending her.

"Probably. I don't know. It's all just weird."

"Shh! You guys! I just heard the bathroom door open. Act naturally!" Ginny commanded them and they all sat up straight and pretended they hadn't been talking behind Hermione's back. She walked in and everyone was silent and staring at her.

"What's going on? Do I have something on my face?" she asked wiping at her cheeks.

"No, everything's good. We were just talking about your presents. We didn't want you to overhear and ruin the surprise," Harry told her with a forced smile.

"Oh, well I love presents. Is it time to open them now?"

"I think that's a perfect idea," Ginny said as she got up and started clearing the table.

They handed out her gifts and she opened them all up and was very pleased and happy that her friends had been so generous and kind. She got some bath items and a new shirt and a pair of earrings from Ginny. Ron had given her a scarf that was hand knitted by his mum and said that it was a joint gift from the two of them. But really Ron had nothing to do with it. He just wrapped it up. But she was touched that his mum still thought of her.

"Thank you everyone for the gifts. It was lovely. I feel very spoiled."

"So what did your boyfriend give you?" Ron asked, trying to pry information out of her.

"Uh, I don't know. He hasn't given it to me yet. He said he was saving it for later."

Luna leaned over to Harry. "He doesn't exist. Trust me."

Harry frowned and refused to believe that. But sometimes Luna's crazy ideas weren't so crazy after all. He didn't know what to think. Ginny brought out the cake and everyone sang to Hermione which never failed to make her blush and feel silly. But she made her wish and blew out the candles.

"What did you wish for?" Ginny asked.

"She can't tell you that or it won't come true," Luna informed her.

"Oh that's rubbish. It'll still come true."

"My wish is private," Hermione told them with a smile. She had wished for something very simple, yet incredibly important to her. She wished for happiness. The kind of happiness where all the bad things get forgotten and you just smile so big because everything is perfect. That was her wish, but she'd keep it to herself just in case Luna was right about it not coming true if she told anyone.

They all ate the cake and it was very good. But Hermione was ready to leave afterwards. Ginny invited her to stay and have some more drinks with them all, but Hermione insisted she needed to get home. She told them her boyfriend was waiting. Which was not a lie. He was probably going out of his mind with boredom because Draco didn't like to be lonely anymore. Hermione didn't want to make him suffer any longer than she had to. She hugged everyone and thanked them again for the party. And then she disappeared and went back to her place. Everyone sat in the living room and just stared at each other. They'd felt the way Hermione had brushed them off as soon as she could and normally she would stick around and talk longer. It was obvious she was uncomfortable with them now. And she was eager to rush off to the mystery boyfriend who may or may not even exist. Ron was the first to speak up.

"I think someone needs to spy on her and see what she's up to," he announced to the group.

"Spy on her? Are you mad? Why would we do that?" Harry asked him shaking his head.

"Because what if she's really involved with a drug dealer or something?"

"Just because she said he worked with money doesn't make him a drug dealer. He could be a banker," Harry pointed out.

"A banker? You mean she's dating a Goblin?" Ron asked looking horrified.

"Not a Goblin you nimrod, like a Muggle banker," Harry clarified.

"But banks close at night," Sarah chimed in. She was Muggle born herself so she knew about things like that.

"That's true. They do close at night. But maybe he's a security guard and patrols the vault at night?" Harry offered.

"Then why wouldn't she say he was a security guard? Besides, all these jobs you're suggesting are Muggle jobs. She said he was a wizard. None of it makes sense," Ron shook his head.

"I have a suggestion," Luna raised her hand.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Just leave her alone. Whatever she's up to, it's her life. Besides someday she'll tell you."

"How do you know?" 

"I just have a feeling. There is something she's hiding, but she's not ready to tell you. But she will be. Just give her time."

They all just sat back and didn't know what else to say. Luna was right. They needed to just stay out of it. Hermione was a big girl. She was the oldest and probably the wisest one of them all. They just had to let her be. And maybe one day, she'd let them back into her life again. They just had to be patient.

Hermione arrived back at home and found Draco sprawled across the couch with the cat lying next to him. There was a glass of whiskey on the coffee table and she could smell cigarette smoke faintly. He smiled at her and moved the cat and stood up to greet her.

"You're finally back. I was watching this show about cooking. That's how desperate I was for something to do," he told her. Then he noticed her hands full of gifts. "Did you get anything good?"

She put the stuff down on the chair and she walked over and put her arms around him.

"I got lots of nice things. It was fun. I'm sorry you had to watch cooking shows. Was it with Gordon Ramsey? I love him."

"Yeah, you love him? He's a total wanker. He screams at everyone like they're garbage. He's worse than my bloody father."

"That's what makes him interesting. I'd never work for him because I might kill him, but he makes me laugh."

"Yeah, well his food looks good. Cooking is almost like potions class. All these ingredients and you have to know how much of a certain thing to put in at just the right moment. I'd probably be good at it if I tried."

"I'm sure you would be," she smiled at him. Then she sighed and raised her eyebrow at him. "You smell like smoke, my dear. Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

He looked at her sheepishly. "Sorry. I had a relapse. But I've been doing bloody good. It's been over a month since I had a smoke."

"Yeah and now you went and ruined your good streak. You'll just keep craving them again."

"I'm sorry. I would say you could punish me, but knowing you, you'd probably hurt me if your spanking technique is any indicator," he laughed.

"You can't take the pain, Mr. Tough Guy?"

"No, I don't like pain. I don't understand those weirdoes who are into kinky sex with whips and chains and shit. Sex is supposed to feel good and not make you terrified of the person you're with."

"I'm surprised you're not into that stuff. Thank God though. I'd have to run away if you were," she told him making a face.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna surprise you one day with a leather outfit and a whip."

"You better not! I like things just as they are," she murmured as she kissed the side of his neck.

"Hmm, I like things just as they are too." He leaned down and kissed her hungrily and she wrapped herself around him as much as she could.

"Is this my birthday present? You wrapped up in a bow?" she asked him breathlessly.

"No, I have an actual gift. Two of them. But there's also something I have planned, which you sadly ruined with Harry's party, but I'm still planning to do it."

"So then I get two presents now and something else later?"

"Yes. Do you want to open up what I got you or do you want to get naked first?" he asked with a wicked grin.

"Presents first! We have plenty of time to be naked."

"Oh alright. Sit down, I put the presents where you wouldn't see them."

He went over behind the couch and pulled out two boxes. One was big and the other one was small. He handed them over to her.

"Which one first?"

"The big one."

"Okay." She ripped off the wrapping and opened up the box to find the leather coat she had admired in the shop window that one night. She held it up. "Oh my God, I love it! You actually bought this for me? Oh Draco, I said it wasn't my style."

"I know love, but you liked it. And remember, you make your own style. I think it rather suits you. It's black and edgy and has buckles on it. You'd look like a rock and roll princess in it."

"Rock and roll princess? Have you been watching Mtv?"

"A little. I found out I like the Sex Pistols. Which are actually punk and not rock. But see, I'm learning this stuff. We're like Sid and Nancy."

"Sid and Nancy? We are not! He killed her."

"Oh. He did? I thought they were some great love story or something."

"Hardly. Not unless you call murdering your girlfriend in a drug induced haze, romantic. And then he died too."

"I don't like the sound of that one. Who are some great Muggle couples then? Romeo and Juliet?"

"Sorry, they killed themselves."

"Shit. Are all Muggles insane when it comes to love?"

"Honestly I don't know. Most of the love stories I've read all end in tragedy."

"Well I don't like that. Maybe you should write a book where it ends happily?" he offered.

"Me? Write a book? I don't think so. But there are fairytales. They end happily."

"What are fairytales?"

"Stories for children. Although some of them are quite dark as well. But usually the ending is good. My mum would read them to me," she told him.

"Well pick a couple from a fairytale and pretend the girl wears that jacket and the love story ends well," he laughed.

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind. I love the jacket, Draco. I promise I'll wear it even if I look silly in it."

"You won't. I think it'll be amazing on you. Now open the other gift. This one I promise is more your style."

She ripped open the small package and found a black velvet box inside. She opened it up and found a beautiful bracelet inside. It was platinum and had two hearts intertwined on it with diamonds lining all around them. On the back it had been inscribed with the words, 'love always, your faithful dragon'.

"It's beautiful," she exclaimed. "I love it! Thank you." She leaned over and gave him a big kiss.

"Do you get the inscription? My name means dragon in Latin."

"It does?"

"Yeah. My parents must have hoped it would suit me. Big and fierce and a force to be reckoned with."

"You're not so fierce. You're actually quite sappy and cute," she told him with a grin.

"Sappy and cute? Ugh. You're ruining my reputation here," he complained.

"Oh just admit it. The real Draco is a romantic fool."

He laughed slightly and sighed. "I've never been that way in my entire life, I promise you. But you bring it out of me. It's your fault."

"I take full responsibility. Now put this on me. I want to see how it looks," she said handing over the bracelet and holding out her wrist. He fastened it on her and they both admired it. It looked stunning. "This is perfect. I'll never take it off."

He leaned over and kissed her again. He relished the feeling of having her in his arms. Being without her tonight, even for just a few hours, seemed too long. She had completely turned him into a pathetic sap. He'd be angry except he was too busy being happy instead. They pulled out of their kiss and just rested their foreheads together and stared into each others eyes.

"I love you, Hermione," he whispered to her.

"I love you too, Draco," she whispered back.

And then they just stared at each other. It was the first time they'd ever actually said the words to each other. It was a huge deal. Draco had never been in love before, and Hermione didn't think she'd ever love again. But this was happening. It was real. And it was perfect. And neither one of them ever wanted it to end.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

Draco had been planning the rest of Hermione's birthday surprise for two weeks. He had given her no hints except he told her to pack a bag for the weekend and meet him outside her flat early Saturday morning. She had no clue what he was planning or what to even take with her. She threw all kinds of stuff in a bag and enchanted it so it would hold everything discreetly in a small bag. She was an expert at that spell after her time on the run with Harry and Ron. She even threw in a fancy dress and some heels just in case he was taking her to France or something. She had no idea what to expect. But she walked outside at eight in the morning and stood in front of her building waiting for him to appear. She didn't know why he didn't just come upstairs and get her. It made no sense. But then all of a sudden she saw a green Volkswagen Bug swerving through traffic and horns started blaring and people were yelling at the driver and saying rude things. The bug came to a screeching halt in front of Hermione and Draco opened up the door and stepped out. He was smiling huge.

"Surprise!" he said looking proud of himself.

"What the hell is this? You bought a car? Do you even know how to drive?" she asked him with astonishment.

"No, this is my first time driving it. I suck. I almost killed a few people on my way over here, but I managed to not crash the stupid thing. Do you like it?"

"It's cute. It's old. And small. And not exactly the car I'd expect you to want. As if you'd want a car at all. Do you have a drivers license?"

"No. I'm afraid not. But the guy who sold this to me showed me how it works. It's not so hard. You saw me driving it," he told her.

"Yeah, I saw you almost plow over a pedestrian and everyone was honking at you. Are we really getting into this thing and driving someplace?" she asked feeling unsure.

"Yes we are. It's a road trip. This is what Muggles do. We're going to see Stonehenge. Have you ever been?"

"No, I've never been there. Stonehenge? Why there?"

"I dunno. It's mystical. Plus it's a nice little drive in the country. I booked us a room in a bed and breakfast place. Muggles let you sleep in their homes if you pay them money. It's so weird that I couldn't resist. I saw a thing on the telly about how it's supposed to be romantic or some such shit. Do you not like the idea?" he asked, suddenly feeling self conscious about his plans.

"No, I love it. It's just weird. Driving a car and staying with Muggles? Are you sure you're really Draco Malfoy and not Arthur Weasley? He was always fascinated with Muggle things and cars."

"I'm pretty fucking sure I'm not a Weasley. Now get in the stupid car and let's go. I brought the camera so we'll remember this forever, even if I happen to crash us into a ditch or something."

"Oh alright. I'll get in. But please do not kill us or anyone else," she implored him.

"I'll do my best. Now hop in."

She opened up the door and threw her bag into the back seat and then she climbed in the passenger side. He tried to start it back up and ended up making the engine screech because the car was already still on.

"Oops. I guess I wasn't supposed to do that. Now where is first gear again?" he muttered to himself, utterly clueless.

Hermione thought this was the cutest she'd ever seen him. He was like a completely different person. And he was so excited by this car he was beside himself. And he was actually pleased to take Hermione on a Muggle road trip. It was so bizarre. But she kind of loved it. He finally got the car into gear and they squealed out into the street almost taking out another driver. But Draco felt confident he could do this. He was a horrible driver though and he kept stalling the thing every time they stopped at an intersection. People hated them. But eventually they got onto the open road and it was much more smooth sailing. Then he pulled the car over onto the side of the road and looked at Hermione.

"It's your turn. You drive us the rest of the way," he told her.

"What? I don't know how to drive. I never learned. Plus I don't have a license either," she protested.

"So what? No one's gonna know. Plus didn't you have one of these things growing up?"

"Yeah, sure. We had two cars. But I never drove them. I was a kid."

"Just give it a go. It's fun. And relatively easy. Just remember to push in that clutch thing on the floor before you try to change gears. Otherwise it makes that horrible noise and doesn't work right."

"I don't want to drive."

"Please? I really wanna see you drive it. There's hardly anyone on this road. It'll be a challenge for you and I know you like challenges."

"Fine. Challenge accepted. But if I get pulled over by the police and taken to jail for not having a license you better bail me out," she said giving him a stern look.

"I promise. I won't let you rot in prison. Do they really take Muggles to prison for driving with no license?"

"I have no idea. But I don't want to find out."

She got out of the car and they swapped spots and she settled herself behind the wheel. The car was already running so she didn't make the mistake of trying to turn the key over again like Draco did. But she had no idea what to do next. He showed her first gear and told her how to ease off the clutch and step on the gas at the same time and they just went skidding off onto the highway at full speed.

"Oh shit! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing! We're gonna die!" she exclaimed.

"Just put it in second gear! Keep doing that until you're in fourth. Then just cruise. We're not gonna die," he reassured her.

She did her best but she ground every single gear and almost stalled the thing right in the middle of the highway. But she recovered. They had the windows down and the wind was whipping through their hair and Hermione had the biggest smile on her face.

"I'm driving! I'm driving a bloody car! It's fantastic," she said excitedly.

"I told you it was fun. Here, let me take your picture."

"My picture? No, you'll distract me. I'll crash."

"No you won't. Just look over at me and smile."

She did as he asked and then he scooted over and leaned against her to get himself in the picture too.

"Stop! You're shoving my arm and the steering wheel is making us swerve."

"Just keep it straight. I want this moment captured forever," he said snapping a picture of the two of them smiling with the wind blowing through their hair. "Now that picture is gonna go on my fridge for sure."

"You're silly. But you're right that this is fun."

"It's a bloody party is what it is. I mean if other witches and wizards knew how much fun driving was, they'd all have automobiles. Sure apparating is great and convenient but it lacks poetry or adventure. Now this is an adventure," he told her enthusiastically.

"I suddenly feel like Ron must have felt when he was twelve and flew his father's car to school," she told him.

Draco laughed. "I hate your ex, love, but that was a funny story. I mean what twelve year old steals a car and flies it to school? I had to give him credit for that one. I wish my father had a flying car."

"You do know that Stonehenge is in Wiltshire where your parents live. We'll be awfully close to them," she pointed out.

"I'm well aware. I've been to Stonehenge before. But Wiltshire is big enough that they won't notice me lurking about unless my folks plan to be at Stonehenge or in some Muggle bed and breakfast, which I doubt. Maybe I should owl them and send them that picture of us driving this Muggle car? I should tell my father, 'hey, me and Hermione Granger are driving a Muggle automobile so we can elope at Stonehenge'."

"Elope? As if. They don't marry people at Stonehenge do they?"

"I have no idea. But can you imagine my fathers face if he saw a picture of us in this car and I told him we were eloping? He'd fucking flip his lid. God, I'd pay to see that," Draco uttered to himself.

"Is that why you do all these crazy things? Just to piss off your father? You always say, 'if only my father could see this, he'd freak out'. Where as you used to always say, 'wait until my father hears about this!' all threatening like."

"I don't do things to piss off my father. In order to do that, he'd have to actually know what I was up to. I just do them because I can. Because I'm a free man now. I'm an adult. And to be honest, all this Muggle shit is awesome. Magic is cool, granted. I won't be handing in my wand anytime soon. But look at this around us. We're in a car in the middle of nowhere just cruising along without a care in the world. What's not to love about this? My father can suck it. He had it all wrong about Muggles and Muggleborns. I mean maybe he's content to sit in his fucking Manor and sip brandy and twirl his cane around while staring at the wall, but I want more from life than that."

"What do you want from life, Draco?" she asked glancing over at him.

"I don't know. I want to be happy, I know that much. I don't think my father was ever actually happy. He never smiled.."

"I want to be happy too. I'm just not sure anymore what it is that will make me happy. I used to think I had it all figured out. If I had this brilliant career where I could really shine, I'd feel fulfilled and satisfied with myself. But now it doesn't seem like enough."

"Do you not like your job anymore?" he wondered.

"No, I do. It's just not what I base my life on anymore. It's not who I am, it's just a job. And I find myself caring exceeding less about success than I ever used to feel. My crowning moments were acing all my school exams and doing my homework ahead of schedule. How boring was I? I mean, who gets a thrill from that?" she asked shaking her head.

"A nerd does," he smirked at her.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Shut up. I wasn't a nerd. Okay, well maybe just a little. But I thought it was really important at the time! I just had no idea that books and homework didn't really matter as much as my real life experiences did. That's why I never went back and finished school. I felt like I'd already learned everything I could possibly learn after being on the run for so long and fighting for my life."

"Yeah, I kind of felt the same. I mean, I didn't feel like school mattered anymore after the war. I already knew it all just from living it. Why did I need to learn how to turn a rat into a teacup for? Like that's ever gonna be useful in my real life," he told her.

"I agree. Although I do regret not knowing more useful potions. That's something I should brush up on in my spare time. You never know when those might come in handy."

"I'm good at potions. I could teach you some stuff. If you wanted me to."

"I'd love that," she smiled over at him. "Anything you want me to teach you?"

"Teach me? I think I know it all by now."

"Do you know how to do a patronus?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"A patronus? Hmm, well, you got me there. I can't do that. I tried but it didn't work."

"What happy memory were you focused on?"

"Happy memory? Uh, I don't remember. I didn't have a lot to choose from, honestly. I wasn't ever particularly happy before," he admitted.

"I bet you might be able to do one now."

"You think so?"

"Don't you have some happy memories now?"

"I do. Lots of them actually. And they all involve you," he said leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"We'll have to try it sometime. I'm really curious what form yours will take."

"I hope it's something cool and not stupid like a poodle or something. That would be embarrassing."

"A poodle? Why on earth would it be a poodle? Did you have one as a child?"

"No. We never had any pets. Except my father's peacocks. Do you think mine will be a peacock?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea. Mine's an otter. And I didn't really understand why except that as a child we went to visit a sea aquarium place and they had otters and sea lions and I was fascinated by them. I thought they were cute. But that wasn't the memory I was thinking of when I conjured it."

"What memory did you think of?"

"It's embarrassing and stupid," she said trying to brush it off.

"No, tell me. What's your happiest memory?"

"Being accepted to Hogwarts. When I got my letter it was like everything in my life suddenly made sense. All the weird things I could do and didn't understand were all explained. It was the first time since I was six that I didn't feel like I was crazy. I literally thought something was wrong with me and I'd live out my days in an asylum or something. It was such a huge relief to have it all explained."

"That's not embarrassing or stupid. I understand it. Being a Muggle I guess you would feel insane if you accidentally did magic and had no idea what it was. I was lucky because as soon as I could do things, my parents had already told me what to expect. They were just excited when I finally showed signs of being magical. I think they were terrified of having a squib or something."

"I guess that would have been devastating to them. Especially since you're a pureblood. It would be almost unheard of I'd think to produce a squib," she said thoughtfully.

"I don't know. I just remember my father patting me on the back and telling me 'well done Draco' and then I got to eat biscuits for dinner because that's what I asked for."

"They spoiled you rotten," Hermione laughed.

"That they did."

"I never got to eat biscuits for dinner, I can tell you that. My parents were dentists, so they always made me eat apples and such and no sweets. It was annoying actually."

"No sweets? That's like a living hell. You never had sweets?" he asked with surprise.

"Sometimes I did. Occasionally. Like I would get ice cream or maybe a piece of candy if I was really good. But I always had to brush afterwards and floss."

"Your parents sound like a drag to me. Brush and floss? When I was a kid if a tooth hurt me, my father just took me to a healer and they waved a wand and I was all better."

"Yeah, well I was a Muggle. It doesn't work like that for us. Have you never seen the silver in my mouth before? I have fillings. Metal fillings. They drilled into my teeth and placed them," she told him making a face.

"Drilled your teeth? That's ghastly! Who drills teeth?"

"My parents did. That was their job. I even had teeth pulled."

"Pulled? Were they rotten?"

"No silly, they were just too big for my mouth. I have horse teeth."

"Shut up, you do not. You're teeth are fine. Who told you had horse teeth?"

"Everyone. I was always made fun of for them. It's not my fault they were bigger than my mouth. Don't you remember cursing me and making my teeth grow like a fucking beaver? You were horrid to me," she recalled.

"Oh. Shit. I did do that. I forgot. But I never thought your teeth were bad before. I was just messing around," he explained sheepishly.

"Yeah it was real funny, Draco. You traumatized me. But I had Madam Pomfrey shrink my teeth back down to a normal size. I figured I might as well use magic in my favor. Beats having orthodontia."

"Orthodontia? What the hell is that?"

"It's when they put metal braces on your teeth to make them straighter and better looking. Luckily I didn't need that because the spell fixed my teeth." 

"So then really, you have me to thank for that," he said with a small grin.

"Oh fuck you. You sucked. I still can't believe you did that to me. You horrid little freak," she said giving him a glare.

"I'm sorry, love. What can I say? I was a fucked up asshole. I'm sure it was funny at the time though."

"Yeah, maybe for you."

"Forgive me?" he asked giving her his best pouty face.

"Oh stop that look. Don't try and look pathetic and adorable at the same time. I have every reason to hate you," she said haughtily.

"Yes, you do. But you don't hate me. You love me," he said as he leaned over and laid his head on her shoulder.

"Oh get off me. I'm angry now. I'd forgotten that stupid teeth spell you did. And now I'm mad."

"Oh come on. I was a kid when I did that. As if I'd do it again."

She glanced over at him and gave him a hard look. "You're lucky I'm forgiving. I have no idea why I'd forgive you for that. Or anything. But you're just so fucking cute. I want to eat you," she said with a devious smile.

"Hmm, I like the sound of that. Shall we pull the car over and have some fun?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No. Dream on, Malofy. We're driving. I'm not stopping until we get to our destination," she said giving him a hard look.

"Oh fine. Whatever. Hold my boyish past against me. It's not like I didn't get as good as I gave. I remember being turned into a fucking ferret by Professor Moody in front of the whole school. That was fucked up. And I recall you laughing your ass off."

"Of course I laughed. It was brilliant. You should have seen your face. My god, if looks could kill. You completely deserved that. My only regret is that he changed you back and I didn't get to keep you as my personal pet," she said with a smirk.

"Very funny. Keep me as a pet? I would have bitten you. Badly. And without remorse," he said frowning at her.

"I'm sure you would have. But still. Draco the ferret as my pet? I'd cherish such a memory."

"You're evil. You think I'm fucking bad, but you're diabolical," he told her with a laugh.

"Yeah, and you love me. Funny the things life throws at us, huh?"

"Yeah, it's real fucking funny. I can't believe we're actually here together. I mean, what the fuck? Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy? In love? Like two complete idiots? It's madness," he scoffed.

"It is madness. We're all wrong for each other, you know. But somehow, I just can't seem to care."

"Me neither. I rather fancy you and all your self righteousness. I like to challenge that. You're not as good as you seem," he told her seriously.

"I'm not? How am I not good? Just for being with you?"

"No. You robbed a bank. Don't think I didn't hear about that, because I did. You are a fucking bank robber. I never even did that shit," he said shaking his head.

"A bank robber? When did I rob a bank? Oh wait. You're right. I did. I robbed Gringotts. I almost forgot. I was dressed as your aunt and I sort of stole from her. But it was for a good cause!" she defended herself.

"What good cause?"

"Didn't you know? She was hiding a horcrux. We had to steal it. But I did not fancy looking like Bellatrix. Her teeth were atrocious. I guess years in Azkaban doesn't afford one a toothbrush."

Draco laughed. "I still can't believe you made Polyjuice potion of my aunt and broke into her vault. That's insane. More insane than she was. And then I read you stole a fucking dragon and flew it out of the bank. Is that actually true?" he wondered.

"Yes, it's all true. I did all of it. I robbed a fucking bank and I stole a dragon. So what? It was for the greater good," she protested.

"Greater good? Even I never robbed a fucking bank. You're so much more bad than you claim to be. I kind of love it. I mean, becoming Bellatrix and stealing her shit? I would have paid to watch that in action. The stupid bint had it coming. I fucking hated her. She was a loon."

"A loon huh? I thought she was your beloved aunt?"

"Beloved? What are you smoking? Did it look like I fucking loved her when you were at my house being tortured by her? Fuck no. I wanted her to die. I was glad when someone offed her. She had it coming."

"She did have it coming. She was dreadful."

"You don't have to tell me twice. I already know she was. My mum wasn't even sad she was dead. She was scared of her own sister," he told her seriously.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. My mum wanted nothing to do with that Death Eater shit. She just wanted to live her life. She was fucking horrified when I got dragged into it and she was pissed at my father. My mum was not a Death Eater. I realize she was part of our family and therefore guilty by association, but my mum has no Dark Mark. She's not a Death Eater and never was. She's just a mum who cared about me and didn't give a fuck about Voldemort or his mission," he explained to her.

"Really? She wasn't a Death Eater?"

"No. She wasn't. She hated Voldemort. She only pretended allegiance because of my father. She could care less."

"I didn't realize that. But it makes sense I suppose. She did after all save Harry. She told Voldemort he was dead when he wasn't. I never quite understood that, even when Harry told me about it."

"She just wanted to get to me. So did my father. They both could have given two shits less what Voldy wanted by that time. They both ended up hating him in the end. My family sucks, but they didn't support that fucking war. It was all a mess. We were forced. You wouldn't get it. I should stop talking about it because it just upsets me," he said somewhat angrily.

"I'm sorry Draco. I wasn't thinking. I don't want to talk about the war. Or anyone's part in it. It's all over and doesn't' matter. Your family was found innocent. And that's all that matters. Let's just talk about something else," she said, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

Draco was quiet for awhile but then he saw some cows in a pasture. "Look at those! They're bloody cows. Do you suppose those are the kind of cows we eat or get milk from?" he asked, completely changing the subject to something light and airy.

"I have no idea. They're quite cute. It makes me feel bad for enjoying hamburgers."

"Eh, it's kill or be killed, I say. And cows taste good."

"Kill or be killed? Do you think those cows are armed and dangerous?" she wondered. 

"No, stupid. I just meant, humans are better than cows. Of course we eat them. Even if they're cute. God I hope my patronus won't be a fucking cow. That would be just my luck," he muttered.

"A cow? I would die laughing."

"Yeah, yeah. Just keep driving. We're almost there. And if my patronus is ridiculous I will punish you if you tell anyone."

"Punish me? I kind of like the sound of that. How will you punish me?" she asked with a raised eyebrow and wicked grin.

"Hmm, I guess you'll just have to wait and find out," he told her with a devious look.

They drove the rest of the way in relative silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Hermione had been reminded of Draco's dark past and it upset her, but she also didn't see him that way anymore. She couldn't. think that way. But every once in awhile the reality of life would creep in. She'd remember something he'd done, or something he'd said. And it just gave her a sinking feeling. But he wasn't like that anymore. Not at all. He'd changed. When she looked at him, she saw a sweet caring man and not a monster or a jerk or potentially evil being. He was not like that. Not anymore. But she also couldn't pretend the past didn't happen either. It was real. Just as their love for each other now was real. She had to rectify that to herself somehow. And it was hard sometimes. She loved him, but she didn't exactly forgive all his wrong doings. But she also knew it wasn't completely fair. He had only been a stupid boy back then. He was a man now. And that man did not resemble the loathsome boy she knew at all. That's what she focused on now. She had to. It was the only way to justify her feelings for him.

They pulled up into the lot at Stonehenge and found countless other tourists there. The place was jam packed. And they couldn't really get close to the stones because it was all roped off. But they both learned about the history of the place and how ancient it was. It was fascinating, Hermione thought. And Draco enlisted some Muggle couple to take their picture several times in front of the ruins. It was sweet. In one picture he kissed her full on the mouth and she'd been embarrassed. But the couple just handed back the camera and smiled at them and told they hoped they were very happy. And they were. Very happy. More happy than Hermione felt they had the right to be. But she wasn't going to question it.

They set off after awhile to the bed and breakfast place Draco set up for them. Hermione had never been to such a place and Draco definitely had not been. It was weird. This older couple greeted them and showed them upstairs to their room. Everything was done in antiques and had a vineyard theme to it. There were pictures of grapes everywhere. And they found out that the place had it's own small vineyard.

"Tonight at six there will be dinner and a wine reception. Do be punctual because it's first come, first served," the woman told them.

"Of course. We'll be there. No worries," Draco told her.

And then she disappeared from their room to leave them in peace. Hermione laid on the bed and said it felt heavenly, and Draco looked at the bathroom and noticed it had a whirlpool bathtub in it big enough for two people.

"We are so going in this thing. Look at it? Why don't our flats have bathtubs like this," he asked curiously.

"Well I'm too poor for such things, and you just decided to live like a pauper. You could get a flat with a tub like this," she told him.

"Yeah, I guess. Let's get naked. I want to try this thing out," he said stripping off his shirt and throwing it aside.

"We might be late for dinner," she reminded him.

"No we won't. We have plenty of time. Now get naked woman before I rip those clothes off you, " he said with a devious smirk.

"Rip them off? As if I'd let you."

"You have no choice," he said laughing as he began to chase her around the room.

She giggled her head off and ended up stripped naked and waiting for the bath to fill. Draco won that battle. She was in no position to argue with him. They soaked in the tub together, filled with lovely smelling bath ingredients that were provided by the establishment.

"What is this smell?" Draco asked, sniffing the water.

"It's lavender. It's very soothing. Just sit back and relax."

"Relax? You're all naked and pressed up against me. How am I supposed to relax?" he asked her.

"Just try. Be a good boy."

"I don't know how to be a good boy," he whispered as he reached under the water and started touching her between her legs.

She gasped out and closed her eyes. "Oh my, that's not a bad feeling at all," she muttered.

"You like that?" he asked seductively purring in her ear.

"Oh yes, keep going."

And he did. He kept going until she had to stifle her cries from the pleasure of it all. She was breathless and sweating from the exertion and the heat of the bath.

"You are so naughty. I'm going to get you back for that," she told him as she kissed him hungrily.

"Oh please do. I'm at your mercy. Use me. Seduce me. Defile me. I'm ready for it," he told her desperately.

They fooled around in the tub until half the water was splashed out and they were both gasping for air. Hermione had never fooled around in a bath before, but she decided she liked it rather a lot.

"We've wrecked this bathroom," she told him breathlessly.

"So what? I'm sure they have maid service. It's like a hotel, right?"

"I think so. I don't know. But my god, I can't feel my legs. I'm dizzy."

He smiled at her and kissed her hungrily. "Is that from the hot water or from me?"

"Both. I need to get out of here and just lay on the ground. I can't breathe."

She pulled herself out of the tub and laid on the floor of the bathroom, dripping wet and completely nude. Draco enjoyed that sight quite a lot.

"You're inspiring me to ravish you once again, laying like that. You better watch out," he warned her.

"No, stop. Please. I'm spent. You've killed me. I'm a sputtering fool now. I just need to cool off," she told him seriously.

He stood up and got out of the tub and laid on the floor next to her. "You like what I do to you?" he asked curiously.

"Like it? I can barely form coherent thoughts afterwards. I never knew sex could feel this way," she admitted.

"Really?" he asked, turning so he was facing her.

"Yeah, really. It's not like I'm experienced. I'm sadly a novice. I mean Ron and I did things, but they didn't feel like this."

Draco laughed somewhat smugly. "So the Weasel didn't deliver the good stuff, eh?"

"I don't know. I mean, I thought he did. I thought I felt something a few times, but now I'm not so sure."

"Not sure? You can't tell if you've come or not?" he asked confusedly.

"No, I can tell. Believe me. Now I can tell. But before? I didn't know. It felt good, but it didn't ever knock me flat on my ass. I think maybe you were the first," she admitted.

"The first, huh? You never had an orgasm before me?" he asked dumbfounded.

She shook her head. "No, I don't think I did. Or if I did, they were really small and not life altering. With you, I can barely function afterwards. What are you doing to me?"

He laughed and traced his hand down the side of her face. "I'm loving you properly, that's all. If the Weasel didn't make you feel this way, then obviously he was not the right guy."

"No, he wasn't. I see that now. I never knew I cared so much about sex. But it's bloody fantastic. I'm hooked on you like a drug," she murmured to him.

He kissed her passionately. "I'm hooked on you too. I'd flip out if I wasn't with you. I need you."

"I need you too."

They both lay there on the bathroom floor, just kissing and looking at each other. Their overly hot bodies became cold eventually and they had to get dressed. It was dinner time after all. They were expected in the dining room. So they got themselves together and went downstairs hand in hand. They were stopped by the woman who owned the place.

"Oh good, you're here. You're last ones to arrive. I thought we'd have to rustle you up. There's wine right over there and cheese. And dinner will be served shortly."

They both went and got themselves wine and sipped that while they waited for dinner. There were four other couples there besides them. All of them Muggles, of course. And Draco did his best to blend in with them. But he didn't know about half the stuff they were talking about. He just smiled and nodded a lot. Muggles talked too much, he thought to himself. And it was never about anything interesting. But he smiled a lot and played nice for everyone. Once dinner was over, everyone retreated to their own rooms. Draco had dirty ideas in mind, but Hermione put on pajamas and turned on the telly. He was slightly disappointed, but he couldn't help but remember that they'd shagged each other senseless when they got there.

"So what are you doing? Watching the telly?" he asked her curiously.

"Yes. Is that alright?"

"Sure I guess. What's on?" he asked as he got himself undressed and lay on the bed next to her on his stomach.

"It's Titanic. I saw this movie once and I absolutely loved it. It's great. You should watch it with me."

"Titanic? Isn't that some ship that sank?"

"Yes, it sank in 1912. It was a British luxury liner. It was headed to New York, but it hit an iceberg and it sunk. Loads of people died because they didn't have enough life rafts aboard, because the ship was supposedly unsinkable."

"Unsinkable? I bet they were pretty fucking embarrassed when it sank on the maiden voyage then. Talk about false advertising. This movie is going to be sad isn't it?" he asked her.

"I'm afraid it is."

"See, that's what I don't get. All these Muggle stories are so sad and tragic. Do Muggles enjoy crying over stories?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I suppose we have a morbid fascination with tragedy and we like being sad. But just watch the movie. You'll enjoy it."

He did as instructed and he watched the movie with her. Towards the ending her turned to her.

"That Jack guy is going to die, isn't he? There's no way he's making it off that ship."

"I don't want to give it away."

"I've already figured it out. You said it was sad. So Jack's toast. Poor sod. After he meets up with that fine looking red haired girl, he bites the big one."

"Fine looking red haired girl? You like Kate Winslet?"

"I don't know. Is that her real name?"

She nodded her head and he said, "Well I didn't mind seeing her naked."

She shoved him playfully. "I'm sure you enjoyed that quite a lot."

"Of course I did. Who wouldn't? If I could draw, I would have been toting around my big sketch book and asking girls to get naked for me too so I could draw them. It's a bloody good way to get some ass. That Jack guy was slick."

"Oh shut up. He wasn't slick. He loves her. It wasn't just a way to see her naked," she explained.

"Sure. Even if he didn't love her, he would have asked."

"He didn't ask, she offered. She wanted to be drawn like one of his French girls."

"Would you ever let someone draw you like that?"

"Me? Are you kidding? No way."

"Not even me?"

"Well I'd let you, I suppose. But you don't draw."

"True. But now I'm wishing that I did more than stick figures."

Once the end of the movie came, Draco was actually upset. He didn't understand how a simple movie could make him care about fictional people so much. But he related a bit to them. Rose's character was from a snobbish background and she was forced into an engagement with a man she didn't love just to keep her social standing. And Jack was a pauper who came from nothing. And yet they fell in love. The roles were reversed, but he could see a bit of himself and Hermione in them. And he admired Rose for chucking her sodding ponce of a fiancé out the window, just so she could experience actual love. That took guts. Guts he supposed he himself possessed because that's exactly what he was doing with his life.

"There really looks like there's enough room on that piece of debris for Jack to climb on. Why doesn't she scoot over and let him on?" Draco asked curiously.

"I don't know. They think it's too small. What if it sank if he got on it?"

"But he's dying. Surely they'd try anything to keep that from happening."

But in the end, Jack slipped under the water and disappeared. Draco felt his stomach tighten in knots, even though he'd guessed the tragic ending right away. But when Rose threw the necklace into the ocean and then died peacefully and was reunited with Jack, Draco felt tears welling in his eyes. He refused to let them show though. He wiped them quickly and didn't look at Hermione, who was actually crying.

"Oh I love a good sad movie. I mean, it ended happily. They were back together," she told him as she wiped her own eyes.

"Yeah, but they're dead. It's not the same."

"It just proves that love is eternal. I mean, she led her life and never stopped loving him."

"I wonder what her actual husband would say to that? She dies and he probably expects her to come to him, and yet she's on the bloody Titanic with the lover she had when she was seventeen."

"I hadn't considered that. Maybe when you're dead you can see everyone you love?"

"I don't know. And that's way too heavy for me to think about. It was a good movie. Tragic, but good. Was it true? I know the ship part was true, but was there a Heart of the Ocean and Rose and Jack?" he wondered.

"No, that part was made up."

"Oh well good job then. It got my emotions going. Bloody movie. I can't believe I actually cared what happened to them when they aren't even real."

"That's what good storytelling is about."

"Our story won't end tragically, will it?" he asked her curiously.

"I should hope not. But perhaps we shouldn't book any cruises together, just in case," she smiled at him.

"Good thinking."

It was late by this time and they both just decided to go to sleep. Draco had other ideas in mind, but Hermione could barely keep her eyes open. So he just watched her sleeping for awhile and then he got up and went to the window to look out at the darkened landscape. It was peaceful out in the country. No street noises or people bustling about at all hours. It had been a long time since he'd enjoyed the peace and quiet of the country. He knew his parents were not far away, but he just couldn't bring himself to visit them yet. It had been so long now, he didn't know how to go back. Did he just show up one day? He wasn't sure. His life was so far removed from what he'd known before, he didn't know if he could ever go back. His family wouldn't like what he'd been doing with himself. Not just the drinking and smoking and tattoos. But Hermione. They'd be horrified at him. But their disapproval didn't matter to him anymore. He expected it now. And he also expected horrid disapproval from Hermione's circle of friends too. It seemed he didn't have a place to fit in anymore. Not unless it was alone with her. Otherwise he didn't belong anywhere. And that made him undeniably sad. Sometimes late at night when he couldn't sleep, that's when all his demons would come to haunt him. And this was one of those nights. He was supposed to be blissfully happy and enjoying the weekend getaway, but his mind was in overdrive. There had been unpleasant things brought up in the car that he hadn't forgotten. Cursing Hermione and her teeth, was one of them. Why was he such a prat to her back then? He didn't mean it. He'd always liked her. But he acted horrendously. Maybe she never would entirely forgive him? And if that was the case, where would he end up in life? Alone and lonely. He really wanted a drink but hadn't brought anything with him. He decided to creep out of the room and see if there was leftover wine lying around downstairs.

He walked through the darkened house and saw that the other guests doors were all closed and dark. Everyone appeared to be asleep. Hopefully including the owners because he was about to pilfer some of their good wine if he could find it. He crept into the sitting room where they'd had the wine and cheese and he opened up a cabinet and found bottles of wine and liquor. He grabbed up a bottle of scotch and took it outside into the backyard so he could have a smoke, which he'd managed to smuggle into his bag without Hermione seeing them. He lit up a cigarette and took a big swig of the scotch.. He sat out there for awhile until it finally got too cold. Then he went back inside and put the bottle back quietly. They'd never know he'd drank half of it. Then he crept back up the stairs and climbed in bed with Hermione, who never even realized he'd gone. He finally fell asleep and was awoken when Hermione began kissing the side of his sleeping face.

"Rise and shine, Draco. It's time to get up. Breakfast will be served soon."

"Breakfast? Ugh. I feel like I just went to sleep."

"Oh you're cranky. Didn't you sleep well?"

He opened his eyes and stared at her happy face. It made him smile.

"No I slept fine. I just had a bit of a rough go getting to sleep."

"So I noticed. You smell like smoke. Did you sneak out?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Afraid so. Shoot me. I suck." 

"It's alright. I don't care."

She climbed on top of him and began kissing him in order to wake him up properly. He wasn't complaining about that. He grabbed her and tossed her over so he could be on top of her, and when he did, the entire bed frame collapsed onto the ground. It made a huge racket and they lay there in a heap under the covers still.

"What the fuck just happened?" Draco shook his head.

"Oh my God, we broke the bed! We weren't even doing anything!"

"Shit. I've got to fix this before they see it."

But there was no suck luck. There was a knock on the door and when Draco disentangled himself from the mess of the bed, he went over and opened the door cautiously.

"What was that racket in here?" the woman who owned the place asked curiously.

"Oh it was nothing."

"Nothing? It sounded like something crashing to the floor." She peered in over his shoulder and saw the bed lying on the floor. "Oh my stars! That bed is broken. What were you two doing?"

"We weren't doing anything. I swear it. It just broke. It looks rather old."

"It is old! It's an antique. And now look at it. It's destroyed."

"I can fix it," Draco insisted.

"Fix it? How? The wood frame is splintered. I'm afraid you'll have to pay for that bed," the woman told him sternly.

"But it wasn't our fault! We were just laying there," he argued with her.

"Right. I'm sure that's all you were doing. Heaven's this is just horrible. Wait until my husband sees this." She marched off and left them alone and Draco shut the door.

"Fuck. The stupid bed breaking wasn't our doing. We hadn't even gotten to the good parts yet. I'll just fix it," he said rooting around for his wand.

"Draco, you can't fix it. If you fix it with a spell they'll be suspicious. How are you supposed to have fixed a broken bed in two minutes with no tools. Think about it," Hermione reminded him.

"Well I don't want to bloody pay for it. Who knows how much this old thing costs?"

"Yeah, I know, but you can't magically repair it. It would give us away."

"Damn it. Staying with Muggles was a stupid idea. Can't even use magic to fix something broken."

"Wait. I have an idea. You fix it and then I'll obliviate them. They won't even remember we were here," Hermione suggested.

"Obliviate them? Is that your favorite spell or something?"

"No. And I won't fuck it up this time. I'll just erase the memory of us and nothing else. I won't give them entirely new lives like I did to my parents. I've learned my lesson."

"You know if we get caught doing this shit, the Ministry will be pissed. And you're one of their star employees."

"I know, but they'll never find out. Trust me. Just fix the bed and let's get our stuff together. Then we'll pull them aside and I'll work my magic," she told him confidently.

He just shrugged and went along with it. It was breaking the rules quite a bit, but it was her idea. He'd go along with it. He waved his wand and the bed began to mend itself and within moments it was restored to it's former glory. Then Draco got himself dressed and they both grabbed up their things.

"You know, we might have to obliviate the whole place. What if the other guests say something? Surely they heard the racket," Draco pointed out.

"I hadn't considered that. I bet they're all down at breakfast now. I'll just do everyone all at once."

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Please. I know what I'm doing. It's a piece of cake."

They took their bags and snuck downstairs and spied everyone sitting in the dining room over breakfast. The owners were serving them and everyone else was eating. They all looked up when Draco and Hermione entered the room.

"There's the cheeky couple who breaks beds," one of the patrons laughed as he pointed at them. Apparently word had gotten around.

"Don't worry, we're leaving," Draco informed them.

"Not so fast. You owe us for that bed," the woman said to him.

Before anyone else could say anything Hermione did her spell and everyone at the table was numbed with confusion. She grabbed Draco's hand and they ran out the front door and hopped into their car and sped off. Inside the people were shaking off the confusion and looking around. The woman who owned the place looked at the spot where Hermione and Draco had been standing and she shook her head.

"I thought I was talking to someone. Where did they go?" she asked.

"Who were you talking to? There's no one else here," her husband informed her.

"Oh. Well that's odd. I could have sworn there was something about a bed."

"A bed? I don't know what you're talking about."

They all just shook it off and figured they were imaging things. There was no other couple who had stayed there. Everyone was accounted for. And no one had broken a bed.

In the car Hermione started laughing. "I can't believe I just did that. That was so wrong."

"We better not get caught for that shit."

"How will we get caught? No one even knows we were there."

"True. You're really good at that spell," he told her.

"Eh, I've perfected it since my little mishap with my parents. Erasing memories, good. Creating new ones, bad," she explained.

"I still can't believe we broke a bed. Now that's funny. Too bad we weren't doing anything fun at the time because then I could boast we fucked so hard we broke the furniture. That would be impressive," Draco said dreamily.

"Who exactly would you tell?"

"I don't know. Anyone who would listen? I mean, that's a great story."

"Well we won't be telling anyone about it. As far as the world knows, we never went to Sunset Vineyards Bed and Breakfast."

"You got that right. Next time we go someplace, it's five star hotels. More privacy and room service. I don't know what I was thinking to stay with Muggles. That idiotic travel channel put ideas into my head. I thought it'd be interesting."

"It was. Sort of. But I think I like the idea of a five star hotel better. Then we can trash the place like rock stars do."

He laughed at her. "You wanna trash a hotel room?"

"Why not? It'd be fun."

"Yeah and then my credit card will get charged for the damages. Not as fun."

"True. But we could still stay there and not trash the place. I'll just steal the towels and the little soaps they give you."

"Steal towels? Why would you do that?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Because you can? I used to take towels when I'd holiday with my parents. They never even knew I did it."

"But why towels? Did you not have enough at home?"

"No I did. It was just a compulsion. Free towels! So I took them."

"You are really weird, you know that?" he asked with an amused look on his face.

"I know. I'm totally weird. But I know you think I used to be such a priss and a goody two shoes. But I wasn't. Not entirely. I mean I did steal towels and rob a bank. I have some street cred."

"Street cred? Will you be joining a gang soon?"

"Maybe? My life of crime should afford me entrance into any reputable gang," she said flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Well good luck with that."

Once they made it home, Draco dropped off Hermione at her flat and went back to his own. They were going to meet up later though and go out to a club that Draco heard was all the rage. He though it'd be fun. And Hermione said she loved to dance. Their little weekend getaway had been fun, even if it didn't quite end the way Draco planned. But at least they escaped unscathed and undetected. He had been rather surprised by her suggestion of what to do, but he just went along with it. She seemed to know what she was doing and it wasn't like he was gonna stop her. He liked this rebellious side of her. It was sexy. And he was looking forward to dancing the night away with her at his side.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

They got to the club and the place was really busy for a Sunday night. But Hermione had taken the next day off because she had wanted a three day weekend since she wasn't sure what Draco actually had planned for them. So this meant she could enjoy herself fully without worrying about calling it an early night. They pushed their way through the crowd of people and went up to the bar. They ordered drinks and spent some time just sitting there watching everyone else dance to the music. They wanted a little bit of a buzz before they took their turn on the dance floor. But soon they went out and joined the fray. They were having a great time and Draco actually liked the music, even though he'd never heard any of it before. It was still good to dance to. And they continued drinking the whole time too. They were feeling no pain and that just made them dance wilder. Hermione was bumping and grinding against him and he was loving it. He ran his hands all over her body and couldn't help himself from kissing her. They were getting into it and no one around them seemed to even notice at all. Mostly because everyone else was dancing much the same.

Across the room, Harry and Ginny sat at a table sipping drinks.

"I thought we were going to dance?" Ginny complained to Harry.

"I know. We will. I just need a bit more drink first before I make a total fool of myself," he told her.

"You're a fine dancer. And besides, this isn't real dancing. It's not a bloody waltz. It's just a lot of jumping around and touching each other. You don't have to be drunk to do that," she smiled at him.

"True. I don't know why you keep dragging me to these clubs, Gin. You know they're not my style," he told her.

"Party pooper. Where's the sense of fun, Harry? We're only young once and trust me, everyone goes to clubs. Look how packed this place is. Loosen up, Mr. Stuffy Pants."

"Stuffy Pants? I'm not stuffy. I'm plenty fun," he scoffed.

"Yes, you can be. But sometimes you're wound too tight. So what if people see you dance? No one here knows who you are. That's the beauty of a Muggle night club."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm being stupid. Let me just finish this drink, and I swear we'll get up and join the crowd, okay?"

"Okay. Drink fast," she urged him.

He drank his drink and scanned the room watching all the dancers packed in like sardines. It looked more like a big orgy than a dance floor. And that's when he spotted him. Right over in the corner. The lights in the club were reflecting off his blonde locks.

"Ginny, look over there. Who is that? Is that who I think it is?" he asked, pointing.

"Who?"

"The blonde bloke. Is that Malfoy?"

She stared over to where Harry was pointing and she finally spotted him.

"Holy shit! It is. I thought he was dead or something. I heard he disappeared," Ginny told him.

"Yeah, I heard that too. But apparently he's not dead. He's dancing with some girl. If you can call that dancing. It looks like he's about to hump her right on the dance floor."

"I wonder who she is?"

"I can't see her face. Probably some girl he met up with here. How weird to see him. He looks different. His hair is all messy."

"Should we go over and talk to him?" Ginny wondered.

"Talk to him? Are you insane? I hate that guy."

"Yeah, but you haven't seen each other in a long time. Maybe we should say hi?"

"Hi? To Draco Malfoy? Yeah, right. He'd love to see me again I'm sure. I'm not going over there. It's not as if he was my friend. We were bitter enemies."

"True. I guess it would be stupid to go over to him. I'm just insanely curious why he disappeared."

"Because he was a known Death Eater. Wouldn't you want to disappear? Now look at him. He looks like he's having too much fun. Stupid wanker."

"Wait, who_ is_ that girl he's with?" Ginny said, straining to see better.

"I don't know."

"Look at her. Look closely."

Harry looked as closely as he could but the girls back was to him. Draco leaned down and kissed her and Harry made a disgusted face at witnessing the sight. Then all of a sudden they broke out of the kiss and the girl turned around and started dancing with her back to Draco, rubbing up against him seductively.

"Holy fucking shit. That's not who I think it is, is it?" Harry said dumbfounded.

"Yes, it is. I thought it was! I recognized her hair. It's bloody Hermione! She's snogging Malfoy in a night club!" Ginny started laughing.

"What's funny about that? Clearly Hermione has lost her fucking mind. Look at them grinding on each other? Ugh. I'm going to vomit."

"We should go over there. We have to now. I mean, it's Hermione. Maybe she's totally loaded and doesn't even know who she's dancing with?" Ginny suggested.

"She's definitely loaded. I can tell when she's been drinking too much. And she'd have to be half dead to be snogging Malfoy. What about her boyfriend, John?"

"Harry, what if there is no John?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if _this_ is who she's been seeing? Draco."

"Oh come on. That's impossible. She's just drunk and I should fucking go over and rescue her before she does something more she'll regret," Harry said standing up and getting ready to approach them.

He walked through the crowd and Ginny followed close behind. She was highly intrigued to see what the hell was going on, where as Harry was just hell bent on rescuing Hermione. But Ginny wasn't so sure she wanted to be rescued. Harry was a little delusional when it came to his best friend and her life choices. But Ginny knew when a girl was into a guy, and Hermione was definitely into Draco. But maybe it was because she was only drunk? Ginny was dying to find out. They got a few feet away from the couple and Draco immediately saw them and stopped dancing. Hermione didn't see them at first because her eyes were closed, but she opened them up and saw Harry and Ginny standing right in front of her. She was in shock and she realized she'd been caught out. The jig was up. Harry was standing right there. But she was super drunk and decided to act like everything was normal and perfect. She ran over to Harry and literally jumped in his arms and wrapped herself around him.

"Harry! So good to see you! Did you know I loved you?" she asked him drunkenly as she kissed his cheek.

Ginny gave her an interesting look and was about to go into attack mode and pry Hermione off her man, but she calmed herself down. Hermione was out of her wits and she knew her affections were harmless. But Harry just peeled Hermione off of him and held her at arms length in front of him.

"Hermione, what the hell is going on here?" he asked her.

"Nothing is going on. I'm dancing! Are you two dancing as well? Let's all dance!"

"How drunk are you?"

"On a scale of one to ten, I'd say thirteen," she giggled and slapped Harry on the arm.

"My God, I need to get you out of here. Do you even know who you were dancing with?" he asked her seriously.

"Draco, of course," she said with a grin. Then she grabbed Draco's arm and pulled him over to meet Harry face to face. They both just glared at one another but said nothing. "Harry, this is Draco. Remember him? We hated him. But it's okay. He's good now. Well, not entirely good. Sometimes he's very bad. But I like that," Hermione said giving Draco a smoldering look.

"Are you off your bloody rocker?" Harry asked her. "I know who he is. We don't need to be introduced. What are you doing with him?"

Draco stood in front of Hermione and pushed her back slightly.

"Leave her alone, Potter. She doesn't have to answer to you," Draco sneered at him.

"Like hell. She's my best friend. And you've obviously taken advantage of her. Look at her! She's bloody hammered. And then you put your filthy paws all over her. I saw you kiss! It was disgusting. I didn't know the great Draco Malfoy had to stoop to getting a girl wasted just so she'd touch you," Harry spat at him.

Draco wanted to punch Harry so hard, but he restrained himself. It wouldn't do any good to start a fist fight. He tried to keep calm.

"I didn't get her drunk and I'm not taking advantage of her. She's my bloody girlfriend. She has been for months now. She was just too afraid to tell you because she knew you'd be a prat about it all. So just sod off and leave us to be. We don't need your approval."

Harry looked dumbfounded, but Ginny had called it earlier. There never was a John. He was made up. There had only been Draco the whole time. Harry was having trouble processing that.

"You mean to tell me that you're the guy in the city that she's been seeing this whole time?" Harry asked with confusion.

"Yes."

"I don't understand," Harry shook his head. Then he looked at Hermione. "Hermione, is this true? Are you actually together with this git?"

"Yes Harry, it's true. I knew you'd never understand so I kept it secret. I had to. But you don't know what Draco is like now. He's different. He's wonderful."

"Wonderful? Are you kidding me? What kind of spell did you put her under?" Harry asked Draco.

"I didn't put her under a sodding spell. As if I'd stoop that low. I don't need magic to get a girl to like me."

"Hermione's not a girl, she's Hermione! And she'd never go out with you. She hates you!"

"Hey now, I _am_ a fucking girl. Why is it you and Ron seem to forget that about me all the time? I'm a bloody grown woman and I can date whomever I want to date! So just go away if you're going to be a jerk about it!"

"I'm not leaving here without you, Hermione. I'm not letting you go home with him," Harry said forcefully as he grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her towards him.

"Hey now! Get your fucking hands off her!" Draco interjected and slapped Harry's hand away from her.

"Do you really want to get in my face and start some shit?"

"Just give me a reason, Potter. Go ahead. I'll fuck you up so bad your face will look just like it did that day you showed up at my house with the snatchers. You wanna look like that again?" Draco asked angrily.

Ginny and Hermione both jumped in between the two men and forcibly separated them to their separate corners.

"Stop it! Right now! Both of you," Hermione told them. "Look Harry, this isn't your business. I'd like you to support my choices, but if you can't, then just leave me alone. I am going home with Draco, and you can't stop me. So either accept that, or I'm afraid we can't be friends any longer."

Harry just stared at her and couldn't believe his ears. She was picking Malfoy over him? She'd actually throw away their friendship over this? That couldn't happen.

"Alright. I'm sorry, Hermione. I've acted like an ass. It is your life and not mine. But I just don't get it. Why him?"

"Because I happen to love him. He's a changed man. He doesn't care about any of those stupid things he used to care about. And he loves me too."

"Love? It's actual love and not just mad lust that's made you act insane and then you'll get over it?"

"Yes, it's actual love. I'm not getting over it."

Harry just stood there a moment and had no idea what to say or do next. And Malfoy looked so smug, Harry worried if he stayed a minute longer, he'd attack him. He was just in shock. This wasn't something he ever expected from Hermione. Finally he turned to Ginny.

"We should go home now. I don't feel like dancing," he told her.

"Harry…"

"No, I want to leave. Let's just go."

He grabbed her hand and led her away from Draco and Hermione and they exited the club. Once on the street Ginny looked at him.

"Harry, you totally overreacted," she told him.

"I didn't know how to react! I just don't get what's happening or why she's with him. She always hated him. All of us hated him. And now she's _dating_ him? She _loves_ him? Is she mental?"

"People do change, you know. Maybe he really has changed?" Ginny offered.

"So what if he has? Does that make up for the all shitty things he did before? He was a Death Eater! And now Hermione is shagging him?"

"It is weird, I'll give you that. I certainly never saw this coming. But she's one of your best friends. You can't just walk away from her like that. She probably feels dreadful right now and it's your fault, Harry."

"What do you want me to do? Go back in there? I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because what would I say? I can't give her my approval. I don't think he's good for her. I think he's changed her. And I don't like it. But she won't hear any of that."

"What has she really done that's so weird and crazy? She got a tattoo. Big deal. Otherwise she seems fine to me. He's not damaging her."

"But did you see how drunk she was? She never drinks that much."

"How do you know? You hardly ever hang out with her anymore."

"Alright. Fine. I'll go back in there and try and be nice. I don't want to hurt her feelings or make her think she has to get my approval of her life. I just want her to be happy."

"I know. But maybe she is happy?" Ginny offered.

Harry tried to let that sink in and he walked back inside the club begrudgingly. He didn't know what to say, but he knew he had to say something to make things better. He spied Draco and Hermione at the bar and she was sitting on a stool crying her eyes out. Harry sighed and realized this was indeed all his fault, just like Ginny said it was. He walked over and tried to keep his emotions in check so he wouldn't strangle Draco. That wouldn't help matters, even though he really wanted to do it. He walked up to them cautiously.

"What the hell are you doing back here?" Draco asked angrily. "Haven't you done enough damage? Look at her," he said pointing to Hermione and her tearful state.

"Look I'm sorry. Okay? I should have behaved better. Hermione, please forgive me. I'm not angry with you," Harry told her pleadingly.

"Could have fooled me. You just stalked off and left. I was trying to show you that things were different now and you just ignored me and walked away!" Hermione cried, wiping her eyes.

"Please don't cry. I hate it when you cry. It makes me feel like shit. I didn't mean to upset you. I was just angry and confused."

"Why were you angry? What's there to be angry about? So I fell in love with Draco. Big fucking deal. He's not a monster, he's a man. A good man. And if you'd give him a chance, you'd see that!"

"Calm down, please. I'm trying to make it right. You know I love you dearly. I don't want to see you make a mistake," Harry told her sincerely.

"A mistake? You think I'm a mistake?" Draco asked.

"I don't know what you are. I don't know why she's with you. Or where you even came from. I thought you were dead."

"Dead? Why would you think I was dead? Wishful thinking?"

"No. I never wanted you dead. It's just you disappeared almost two years ago. No one has seen you. Where have you been?" Harry asked him curiously.

"I've been around. Obviously no one looked too hard. It's not like I'm in a secret hiding place. I'm in London for fuck's sake."

"Where in London?"

"Why should I tell you? It's not your business."

"Fine. It's just London is a big city. It's easy to get lost in if you don't want to be found."

"Right. It is. And I didn't want to be found. Except I ran into Hermione and things just happened. Is it really so weird? I thought you realized I wasn't evil or else why did you stand up for me at the trial?" Draco asked him curiously.

Harry sighed. "I stood up for you because it was the right thing to do. You were coerced and forced to join Voldemort's team. I knew that you didn't really want to be there or else you would have given me up at your house when you had the chance. I'm a fair man, so I did what was right. You didn't deserve to rot in Azkaban."

"Well thank you. At least you realize I'm not fucking evil. So why all this drama? So what if I'm seeing Hermione. Do you think I'd hurt her? I love her," Draco said insistently.

"Look, not being evil doesn't mean I think you're a great guy. You're still an asshole. I mean, all the shitty fucking things you did to me and to Ron and Hermione especially, how am I supposed to just forgive that and be happy about this weird ass relationship?" Harry shot back at him.

"Fine, so I was a jerk off. I admit it. I'm not proud of it. I sucked. I tormented all of you and I did it with a bloody grin on my face. So sue me. I was a stupid kid back then. Don't tell me you never did anything stupid when you were a kid. You were always in fucking trouble. More so than me! If there was trouble, you were standing right in the middle of it. I kept my nose clean," Draco informed him.

"Trouble huh? This trouble you speak of was me saving everyone's fucking life from Voldemort on several occasions. It's not like I was pulling pranks or trying to kill Dumbledore or letting Death Eaters into the school!"

"Shut up about that. I had no choice. You bloody well know that. I was forced to do that shit or else my parents would have been as dead as yours," Draco spat at him.

Harry lunged for Draco and Ginny had to grab him and hold him back. "Don't do it Harry. He's not worth it. Just calm down," she told him.

"But I really want to hit him," Harry muttered.

"Harry stop it. Please. For me? Just let it go," Hermione said tearfully.

"He needs to shut up about my fucking parents," Harry insisted.

"Oh alright. I'm sorry I mentioned them. But honestly you of all people should understand that my parents lives were at stake. And if you could have saved your own parents, you would have bloody well done anything to do that. And don't say you wouldn't have, because that's a lie."

"You don't have to explain this to me, okay? I get it. I already got it before. It's why I bloody defended you and your sodding parents. But that's not the issue. How about all the times you called Hermione names? What about all the filthy mudlblood comments you spewed out like venom? Am I just supposed to forget those? How can she? Hermione, how can you just forgive him for that?" he implored.

"He's not like that anymore. I've already said it a million times! Do you think I'm an idiot? Do you think I'm not capable of making my own choices? Would I be with someone who still called me names and treated me poorly? No! He's sorry for what he did before. And I'm over it. You need to get over it too," Hermione urged Harry.

Ginny stepped in and decided to stop this madness.

"Look, I don't feel like everyone is in their right minds at the moment. We've all been drinking. Some of us more than others. But this fight needs to end. Hermione, Harry won't get on your case for who your boyfriend is. And Draco, you better really be a good guy or else I'm gonna hex you myself because I'm standing up for you. God only knows why. Except Hermione loves you. So that means you must be good. Now everyone needs to just get over themselves and put the past behind them and make nice. Am I to be understood? I don't want any more fighting!" Ginny informed them all.

'

They all listened to Ginny and let her words sink in. She was a tough cookie and when she laid down the law, people tended to pay attention to her. That was one of the things Harry loved most about her. He held up his hands in defeat.

"I give up. I won't say another word. Hermione, you have my blessing."

"I didn't need your blessing," Hermione informed him haughtily.

"I know, but you have it. Okay?"

"Fine. Thank you."

"Yeah, thanks," Draco told him begrudgingly.

Ginny went over to Hermione and put her arm around her. "My dear, you look dreadful. Your mascara is running all over the place. Let's pop into the loo and fix you up," she told her soothingly.

Hermione got up and disappeared with Ginny and that left Draco and Harry standing there alone. It was awkward to say the least. They both just stared at their shoes and wished for another drink, but neither made a move to order one. Finally Draco spoke.

"So, I need some more fucking booze. You in? You want something?" he asked Harry tentatively.

"Yeah, fine. Give me something strong. I need it after this debacle," Harry told him.

Draco ordered up two whiskey's and handed one over to Harry.

"You didn't slip poison in it did you?" Harry asked.

"I don't know. Drink it and find out," Draco said with a smirk as he downed his own drink.

Harry knew he was being stupid and Draco didn't poison him. So he gulped down the foul liquid and made a face. He liked being drunk, but he hated the taste.

"Oh that's awful," Harry muttered. Then he motioned the barkeep to get him another. "I really need to be drunk to handle this shit."

"Am I really so awful? So what if I did a few mean things and said some horrible stuff. I was fucking thirteen years old. And I was raised by snobbish assholes. What did you expect of me? I tried to be your fucking friend right off the bat and you shunned me like I was dirt. I mean, how dare you. I was not to be shunned," Draco said snottily.

"Get over it Malfoy. So what if I didn't wanna be your friend? You were a total git. You basically announced that you were a horrible prick and then held out your hand and expected me to shake it? Please. I had better sense than that."

"Right, the great Harry Potter. Too good for the likes of me. I could have been an ally to you, but no, you had to brush me off. How did you expect me to react?"

"I don't know. Like a human being? You didn't have to make it your life's mission to punish me and all my friends. Or did I really hurt your feelings that badly? Was poor Draco that upset that he was shunned by me?" Harry asked somewhat venomously.

"Shut the fuck up. I didn't care that much. It's not like it mattered to me. I had plenty of other worthy friends. I didn't need you."

"Right. That's why you're still sore about it all these years later. Well I guess you got what you wanted after all. You got an in with me. You hooked up with my best friend behind my back and now suddenly you're in my sodding life. And I'm supposed to act happy about it? Fuck that. I still don't like you and I don't trust you as far as I could throw you," Harry told him heatedly.

"Guess what? I don't give a flying fuck. I don't need you or anyone else. Except Hermione. And I have her. I'm sure that really gets under your skin since she never looked at you the way she looks at me," Draco shot at him.

"What? Are you mad? I never thought of Hermione like that. We were just friends. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Just friends huh? Alright. But I bet the Weasel would love to get a shot in at me right about now. If only he knew I was shagging his ex. I'm sure you're gonna tell him first chance you get. And then I can expect him to try and hunt me down and murder me, right? Do your dirty work for you."

"What Ron does with this information is his business. But I'd watch your back," Harry informed him.

"Right. I'm scared now. He'll never find me. And if he does and he actually tries to hurt me, you'll be scraping bits of him off the concrete outside my flat. So I don't recommend you sending him after me," Draco said threateningly.

"Like hell. You wouldn't hurt him. You haven't got what it takes. You're a bloody coward. You fucking cried when you had to kill someone. So don't act tough with me. I was there. I saw you."

"I'm not a fucking coward. I was terrified. You'd probably cry too, you stupid ponce."

"You don't think I was terrified to walk into those woods and let Voldemort kill me? Was I crying about it? No."

"How would I know what you did or didn't do? I wasn't there. For all I know, you sobbed like a little girl."

"Hardly. I accepted my fate like a man. I wasn't a coward."

Draco walked over and got in Harry's face. "You call me a coward one more time and I will fuck your shit up. I don't care what Hermione thinks. I directly defied my orders from Voldemort, knowing damn well it might mean the end of my family and my own life. And if that makes me a coward, then so be it. Would I be more of a man if I'd just blasted old Dumbledore off the tower and ran away laughing about it?"

Harry backed down because he knew he was in the wrong. It wasn't fair to call Draco a coward. But he was just so angry and upset he couldn't keep himself in check.

"Alright, so you weren't a coward. I don't know what you were."

"I was a boy. A boy sent to do the work of a killer. And I couldn't do it. And you don't know what that makes me? It makes me a good fucking person! I risked everything and all I get now is your scorn? You don't forgive me for some off color insults I hurled as a child? Do I look like the same person you knew before? Do you realize I left my family because I couldn't live like they wanted me to? I gave up everything to save their lives, and yet I walked out on them. I left them in the bloody dust just so I could be better than them. So I don't give a damn if you like me or not. I'm here to stay. I'm with Hermione and she loves me. She knows me. You don't know me at all," Draco informed him.

"You're right. I don't. I never did. And I don't honestly care to know you now. But you're right. You're in Hermione's life, so I have to accept that. And I will. But don't ever expect us to be friends. We won't be."

"Fine by me. I got over us not being friends a long time ago. I'll live."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Perfect."

"You want another drink?"

"Very much so."

Draco ordered up more drinks and passed one to Harry. They both sat on the barstools next to each other not saying a word. They just drank in silence. Then finally Draco spoke up.

"What the hell is taking so long for the girls to get back? Did they fall in the toilets?"

"I have no idea. But they better hurry," Harry said, downing the rest of his drink.

In the bathroom, Ginny was doing her best to comfort a nearly hysterical Hermione. She was way too drunk to function and that just made the tears flow more freely. Ginny kept putting her arm around her and smoothing her hair.

"It's gonna be alright, Hermione. Harry will get over the shock. Trust me. I know him quite well," she reassured her.

"I know. I know he'll be okay eventually but he seemed so disappointed in me. I feel like I've done something wrong," Hermione cried.

"Shh. You did not! I mean Draco Malfoy is a bit odd for a romantic conquest, but he is quite handsome. Who could blame a girl for falling under that spell, right?"

"It's not just because he's handsome, it's so much more. He's wonderful to me. He makes me feel alive. We have fun together. And he gets me. He doesn't scorn me or reproach me if I do something unexpected or possibly wrong. No one else knows me like he does. Not even Harry or your brother. They only knew what I chose to show them. And that wasn't always really me."

"Who are you then?"

"I don't know. I just know I'm not just a stupid bookworm nerd girl. I'm a woman. I have needs. I have desires. And sometimes I don't always do the right thing. I'm not a hero. I'm just a girl. I'm just me. And sometimes I'm really fucked up," Hermione admitted.

"You know that you could tell Harry anything and he'd still love you. Faults and all. There's no need to hide from him."

"But he's so perfect and good and righteous. Sometimes it's a lot to live up to. I'm not like him. I make mistakes."

"You think Harry doesn't make mistakes? He makes mistakes all the time! He's only human. As are you. I know you guys were like the superheroes of the war and that's a lot to live up to. I don't blame you for freaking out and wanting to explore your darker side a bit. It makes sense. But as long as you're happy, that's all that matters. So what if you fell for the consummate bad boy? Who wouldn't in your position? You were always with the good guys. Saving the world. My brother is a huge dummy because he tried to make you be something you weren't. Even I know that. He wanted to get married and have children like right now. And who wants to do that when they're only twenty one? I mean I guess some people do, but now is the time to find yourself and have fun. And if your fun includes Draco Malfoy, then so be it. I mean, I really hope he's actually changed, but I'm taking your word for it."

"He has! I wouldn't be with a total prat who thinks he's better than me. He's totally different. And I admit he's a little bit fucked up and bad, but I like it. It's exciting. He's always up for anything and doesn't ever think I'm weird or wrong or bad. And he doesn't think I'm boring either. He knows I'm more than just a bookish nerd. He sees the real me," Hermione told her.

"Well good then. As long as you're happy. You know I'll always think of you like a sister, even if you're not with Ron anymore. I've got your back. And if Harry doesn't come around, I'll make him. So please just fix your face and pull it together and march back out there and be proud of who you are," Ginny said encouragingly.

"Speaking of your brother, I think he's going to take this news far worse than Harry. It could be mayhem. He's going fucking flip his lid. You know he will. He won't accept this." 

Ginny sighed. "I know. Believe me. I've already mentally prepared myself for his reaction. He's going have a conniption fit. But that's only because he still loves you. He's not over you. That Sarah girl is just a distraction."

"She is? Ron's not in love with her?"

"In love? Oh no. Definitely not. She's nice and all, but she's a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. She's all boobs and not much else. And Ron is just a dumb horny man. It's disgusting actually, but what can you do right?"

"Oh God, I don't even want to face him when he finds out. Harry will tell him. I know he will. And then I have to see them at work! It's horrifying. I just want to crawl away and hide," Hermione said covering her face.

"No, no hiding! Just be who you are and do what you want and fuck everyone else. I mean, yes I love Harry and Ron but they're close minded and way too overprotective of you. They don't understand that you're a force to be reckoned with. You're tough as nails and braver than most people I've ever met. Don't let the silly boys get you down. Just stand tall and be proud. Eventually they'll get over it."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I'm right. Let's fix your face, okay? You look tragic right now. But I love your jacket. Is that new?"

"Yeah, Draco bought it for my birthday. Do you like it? Does it suit me?"

"It's perfect. I think it suits you just fine."

Hermione smiled over that. She had felt like maybe the look would never suit her and she was just playing dress up. But Ginny made her feel better. In fact, Ginny was being wonderful, especially given the fact that she'd broken her brother's heart. There was a time when Ginny was a bit chilly towards her, but thankfully it passed quickly. They were still good friends. And right now Hermione needed a girlfriend who actually understood her and didn't scorn her. She needed someone to bond with and not to fight with. Harry was always going to be an overprotective freak when it came to her. He thought of her like a sister and treated her as such. But what she really needed was support. And Ginny was there for her. She was very grateful. She pulled her into a sloppy drunken hug.

"I love you Ginny. You're so amazing," she told her.

Ginny patted her on the back. "You're super drunk, it's not even funny. But I love you too. I always will. And I will support you even when no one else does. I promise. Because that's just the kind of person I am. If not for you and your advice all those years ago, I don't even know if Harry and I would be together. I owe you one."

"Now I owe you one. Thank you for not freaking out and for being my friend."

"No thanks needed. Let's get you pretty again shall we?" she said taking out her makeup bag from her purse and helping Hermione fix her tearstained face.

After Hermione looked presentable again, Ginny and her walked out of the bathroom together arm in arm. It felt good to have some solidarity when walking back into a battlefield, Hermione thought. They spied Draco and Harry sitting at the bar next to each other but they were not talking. They were both staring

blankly ahead of them and sipping drinks. At least they weren't killing each other. That was a start. Hermione walked up and looked at both of them.

"I'm sorry tonight sucked the big one for everyone. Me and my secrets can be a little dangerous. But I hope we can all get along? At least we can not kill one another?"

Draco and Harry looked at each other and shrugged.

"We're cool," Harry said as calmly as possible.

"Yeah, we're so cool it's icy. Do you feel the chill in the air?" Draco asked.

Harry just glared at him and Draco sighed. "Fine, we're cool. It's all good. I think we should leave though," he said taking Hermione's arm.

"Yes, please. Let's go. Harry, I'll see you on Tuesday. I'm still on holiday from work."

"Alright. Well take care of yourself. And remember I care about you. That's all. That's the only reason I'm acting like such a fool. It's because I care," Harry told her sincerely.

"I know. And I love you for it. But I'm a big girl. I think you owe Ginny at least one dance before you guys leave. She said you hadn't danced at all. I think she deserves it."

"Alright. One dance. I still have to work in the morning," Harry informed her.

"Yes, well, have fun with that. I'll be going now. Thanks Ginny." She looked at her warmly and smiled.

"Don't mention it. Now you guys go home and sleep it off. Everything will be roses come morning. I promise."

Draco took Hermione's arm and led them out of the club. She was very quiet and it unnerved Draco. He hated the discord. But he knew this would eventually happen at some point. He just hadn't expected it so soon.

"Do you want to go to my place or yours? Or should I just leave you alone and go home?" he asked her quietly.

"No of course not. I don't want to be alone. Let's go back to my place."

"Alright. Your place it is."

They walked along silently and Hermione just prayed she really knew what she was doing. It was hard when she had someone second guessing her judgment. But in her heart she knew Draco was a good man. He'd proved it to her. Harry just didn't get it. But maybe someday he would? She couldn't let him bring

her down. She had to be strong. She had to trust her own feelings. She just dreaded the moment when Ron found out. It wasn't going to be pretty. But right now, all she wanted to do was go to sleep and forget the entire night happened.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

The next morning Hermione woke up really late and had the worst hangover. She rolled over in bed and groaned as she tried to shield her eyes from the light.

"What time is it?" she muttered to Draco who was sleeping next to her. He didn't answer because he was out like a light and she had to roll back over and look at the clock. It was almost noon. She put her hand out and tried shaking Draco awake.

"Stop it," he muttered as he slapped her hand away. "I just need five more minutes."

"Wake up. It's nearly twelve. What the hell happened last night?" she asked confusedly.

He opened his eyes and peered over at her. "You don't remember?"

"No. I mean, I sort of remember some parts. Did we see Harry?"

"Uh, yeah. And it went smashingly well. I expect him to send us a fruit basket of congratulations at any moment now."

She held her head in her hands. "Oh God, now I remember. He was so upset. I thought that was just a bad dream but it really happened didn't it?"

"I'm afraid so. The cat is out of the bag. No more hiding me away like a dirty secret."

"That's not what I was doing. I was just trying to make sure we stayed happy. And I knew Harry would ruin it."

"He didn't ruin anything. I don't really care what he thinks."

"Well I do. I want him to be happy with me and not angry or disappointed," she lamented.

"Why does it matter so much what he thinks? He's your friend, not your bloody father. You don't need his approval over who you date."

"I know. I don't _need_ the approval, but I want it. Is that so weird? Wouldn't you want your best friend to approve of your choices?"

"I don't know. Sort of. But it's not exactly like it would change my life if my friends didn't approve of something I did. In case you hadn't noticed, I did what I wanted and my friends just followed my lead. I'm not exactly used to looking for approval from other people. Not unless you count my parents, which I don't anymore since I'm not seeking their approval at the moment."

"You just don't understand then. All my life I did things in order to seek approval from others. It's just who I am. And it hurts when my friends don't approve. Like when I went to the Yule Ball with Victor. Ron gave me such a hard time I ended up in tears over it all. He said I was consorting with the enemy."

"So fuck him. I remember that night. I saw you crying on the stairs. I wondered what happened, but obviously I wasn't going to ask. But I noticed it. Was that because Ron was being a git to you?" Draco asked curiously.

"Yes. I didn't think you noticed me at all that night."

"Of course I did. Everyone did. You looked amazing," he smiled at her.

"Well thank you. I had no idea you even saw me."

"Well I did. And when I saw you crying I figured Victor did something stupid and made you cry. But now that I know it was one of your so-called friends who made you feel badly and cry, I'm even more pissed. Who does that to someone they claim to care for? Harry and Ron are not your keepers. This is your life to live and you can bloody well do whatever the fuck you want. And if they shun you because of me? Well then I don't think that makes them very good friends, now does it?"

"You're right. I know you're right. I mean, I'm always supportive of them no matter how stupid they are or what choices they make. If I were any more open minded about the choices they make my whole brain would fall out. So I don't really think it's fair I'm not afforded the same sort of luxury," she said, starting to get angry at the situation instead of feeling badly.

"You're very open minded. I'm sure there were loads of times you disagreed with them and you didn't just expel them from your life."

"Yeah. Like when Ron hooked up with Lavender. I wanted to bloody throttle him, but did I freak out on him and tell him he was snogging a whore? No. I kept quiet. Although I did accidentally set some attack birds on him, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, I kept my mouth shut."

"Attack birds? What do you mean?"

"Oh, it was silly I guess. But I conjured some birds just to make feel better and then Ron appeared and I just sort of attacked him with them. He had it coming."

"I love you more every day when I learn new things about you," Draco laughed.

"God Ron is gonna be way more upset than Harry, you realize. He's going to fucking freak out," Hermione complained.

"So what? You guys are over. He can't exactly claim to be jealous or anything since he's shagging some other bint. I mean, I know you're trying to be friendly with him still, but that never works out. Ex's just don't stay friends. It's too complicated."

"I don't know. I thought we were doing alright. But that'll be over now once Harry tells him. God, I wonder if he's already told him?"

"Love, it doesn't matter. What's done is done. And frankly, I'm relieved. I was sick of hiding from your stupid friends."

"I think Ron would take it better if I told him I was a lesbian now instead of shagging you. At least then he wouldn't feel inferior."

"Inferior? You think he's gonna feel inferior? Cause I kinda like that idea," Draco smirked.

"Of course he will. He's real sensitive like that. He was jealous of Harry and actually thought something was going on with us. Just because he was the Chosen One, Ron assumed I was in love with him. He was an idiot."

"Well I think everyone thought you and Harry were getting it on. I mean, people talked. And there was some article in the paper about it."

"That article was rubbish! And I don't understand why people can't get it through their heads that a man and woman can be just friends without anything naughty involved," she said haughtily.

"Because it's human nature to want to shag someone you feel close to."

"So since I feel close to Ginny I should shag her too?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No. Of course not. She's a girl. But if you were really lesbian, then yes, you'd be shagging her brains out right about now."

"That's not true! Lesbians don't sleep with every girl they're friends with just because they're gay. That's absurd."

"What do I know huh? I've never met a gay chick. I'm just saying that normally straight men and women can't be just friends. There's bound to be sexual tension and it just mucks it up."

"Well you're wrong. I've never wanted Harry like that, and I never will. We can be just friends and nothing more. And we are!"

"Alright, I believe you. I know you never fooled around with him. But however, he treats you like his girlfriend. All protective and shit. Like he actually has some say in your love life. But he doesn't. And neither does Ron. Right now the only one of your friends I actually like is Ginny. She's not a bitch like I expected her to be. She is after all a Weasley so I assumed she'd fucking hate me. But she's calmed down since the last time she threatened me at school when she was just a tiny little thing. It was cute how protective she was of Harry, even then," Draco said remembering the past.

"Ginny has been great. She was so calm about it. She even said you were handsome. She understood me. I wasn't expecting that. I thought she'd be angry just like everyone else. But she's a good person. She's like the sister I never had."

"Yeah? I like her too. So far anyway. She's nice and she thinks I'm handsome, so what's not to love right?"

"Don't get a big head about it. She has about as much interest in you as Harry does. She was simply saying she understood my attraction to you."

"Is it really my fantastic looks or is there more to it than that?" he wondered curiously.

She looked over at him. "Of course it's more than your looks, silly. I mean the first time I shagged you, it was about your looks. You were devilishly handsome and sexy and I just wanted to rip off your clothes. Which I did in fact do apparently. But now it's much more. I love you. The person you are. I see how you try and how you laugh and your smile lights up my world. You were always such a sullen boy when you weren't sneering at people. I never thought I'd see you smile in a genuine way. But you've shown me sides to you I never would have seen before. I love it all. The light and the dark. The happy and the sad. You're the one, Draco," she told him as she touched his face tenderly.

"My God, you have a way with words. I never thought anyone would ever make me feel this way. I never even thought I wanted to be in love. It seemed too much effort. But with you, it's different. I just fell and fell and when I landed, you were there. I love you so much. So please do not let your friends ruin what we share. I'd be devastated if you let them interfere with our happiness," he told her as he kissed her softly.

"I won't let them interfere. I promise. I'm sorry I'm freaking out over it. It's just a big deal for me. Just imagine that we just got caught fooling around by your parents. Imagine their distaste and horrification. That's how my friends feel."

"Yeah, but I don't care about my parents distaste or horrification. And you shouldn't care either. I'm a little dark and fucked up and I'm not exactly the picture of mental health. But I'm good to you, aren't I? I'm being a good man. For once in my life. I just want other people to see that about me so I can prove that I belong in this world and that I shouldn't be dead by now of an overdose or some sort of dark magical accident. I want to be good enough for you to feel proud to be with me."

"You are good enough. And I am proud. I've seen you change. I've watched your struggles. I've tasted your tears. I've seen your heart. No one else has done these things. So give them time. Perhaps one day they will see you the way I do? I don't know. But it was stupid of me to keep you hidden away because how would anyone else ever know how good you are if they never saw you?"

"It's not like I expect a bloody miracle. I know Potter and Weasel aren't my friends and probably never will be. But I just want them to chill the fuck out and give me a chance. If they're so worried about you and your welfare, I want to show them that I'm actually good to you."

"Well since it's no longer secret, you'll get your chance. But I'd not hold my breath about Ron. He's beyond stubborn. And overprotective is not a strong enough word to describe how he feels about me. I could be dating Prince William for all he cares and he'd probably say he wasn't good enough for me. Ron puts me on a pedestal. And I'm afraid of heights. He thinks I'm so pure and good and honest and boring. He actually asked me if I wanted to wait to get married to have sex. Can you believe that? Are we living in the Dark Ages? He was afraid I wouldn't want to wreck my purity."

Draco started laughing and couldn't stop. "Oh my God, does he even know you? You're insatiable. Wait for marriage? In what alternate universe would that have happened in? Was he actually willing to wait?"

"Yes! He said he was. Of course that just prompted him to ask me to marry him right away, which of course I said no. But he sees me like some kind of saint or something. It's dreadful. That's not who I am. I don't even know where he got that from. Sometimes I still feel like he sees me as an eleven year old girl and not a woman. That's why we just didn't work out. It was too weird and complicated. He was more of a brother to me than a lover. There was no spark," she explained.

"Well we have spark. Lots of spark. And I don't think of you as being eleven, I think of you as being my hot older woman defiling me every chance she gets," he said kissing her greedily and running his hands over her body.

"Stop doing that. I'm not in the mood. I'm still moping," she chastised his wandering hands.

"Well the best cure for moping is a good shag. Trust me. I know this first hand."

"Oh alright. You talked me into it."

"I barely even said anything and yet I talked you into it? Something tells me you wanted it anyway," he purred into her ear as he commenced with the inappropriate touching. She didn't stop him. He was right. This was a good cure for moping. And forgetting. But they barely got started when she heard someone pounding on her front door.

"Who the hell is that?" Draco complained, feeling frustrated at the intrusion.

"I have no idea. Probably my neighbor. Let's just ignore it," she said as she kissed him again. The pounding on the door was insistent and very annoying and finally Hermione broke free of Draco's kisses and sat up. "God damn it. Someone better be fucking dead or else it's not worth me answering the door," she muttered as she grabbed her robe and got up.

"Tell whoever it is to go away," Draco called out after her.

But she was already of the mind where she would tell whoever it was to get lost. It was her day off and she wanted to spend it indulgently without interruptions. When she got to the door she looked out the peephole and saw who it was. It was Ron. And he did not look pleased.

"Oh fuck me," she muttered under her breath before she opened the door cautiously. "What are you doing here?" she asked him exasperatedly.

"I think you know why I'm here. I talked to Harry this morning."

"So what? It's my day off. I'm busy. And if you're here to lecture me or warn me or whatever it is you have planned, can we just skip it?"

"Can I at least come in?" he asked her.

"Why?"

"Because we need to talk. And don't say we don't, because we do. Now let me in," he demanded.

She opened the door fully and let him walk in as she shut the door behind her. She folded her arms and stared at him. "So what do you want?"

"I want an explanation. Harry said you were with Malfoy, but I find that hard to believe. I had to ask you myself."

"Do you think Harry is lying?"

"No. But this is fucking crazy shit. It can't be real, can it?" he asked her desperately.

"It is real. Harry informed you fully, I'm sure of it. What more would you like for me to say? That I sobered up today and now I've broken it off with Draco? Fat chance. In fact, he's in my bed right now waiting for me to get back. So if you don't mind, you may leave now."

"He's in your sodding bed right now? Oh God. That's disgusting. Are you naked under that robe?"

"As if I'm telling you! Just get out of here. This is my life Ron. We're broken up. You're with Sarah. Do you see me marching into your flat while you're in bed with her and demanding explanations from you?"

"Sarah isn't a fucking Death Eater! She's a secretary. She doesn't even say bad words. Why would you demand explanations?"

"I don't know why you think you're owed an explanation then. Just go back to your vacuous big boobed secretary and leave me and Draco alone!"

"Hermione, don't do this. Don't be difficult. I care about you. And Malfoy is trouble. Serious trouble! How could you honestly be with him? We hated him. We all did! You were like the president of the 'we hate Draco Malfoy' club. You socked him in the face! Don't you even remember that?" Ron pleaded with her.

"Of course I remember. I'm not brain damaged. But he's different now. He's changed. He's a good man. I already told Harry this, so I'm not going to go through it all again with you. Just get over it. I've moved on. And I don't care if you like him or not," she said heatedly.

"This is fucking bullshit! I can understand you moving on, but not to him! Anyone but him! I refuse to accept this. You've obviously gone insane. Where is he? In your room? I'm gonna bloody pummel the shit out of him!" Ron said pushing past her and heading down the hallway.

She ran after him and tried to stop him but he threw open her bedroom door. Draco was waiting and he was ready for a fight. He had his pants on but no shirt and was standing there holding his wand out aimed right at Ron.

"I don't suggest you coming any closer, Weasel. I'm not afraid to use this," he told him seriously.

"Like hell. You wouldn't curse me. You just like to talk tough. You're nothing but a sissy man," Ron spat at him.

"Take that back or I swear I will make you regret it," Draco told him seriously.

"Draco, put your wand down! Don't hurt him. He's not thinking clearly," Hermione pleaded with him.

"I'm thinking clearly. I'm thinking how I'd love to see your new boyfriend hex me so you can understand what a piece of shit he actually is. Go on Draco. Show her what you're made of. Crucio me. I dare you," Ron told him with a smirk on his face.

"No! No one is crucioing anyone!" Hermione stepped in between them.

Draco lowered his wand. "I never said I was gonna crucio you. You automatically assume I'm gonna use an unforgivable curse because I'm so evil?"

"Well then what were you gonna do to me?"

"I hadn't decided yet. Maybe set your clothes on fire? How'd you like that? Or I could just put the wand away and we can fight like men. You wanna punch me? Go ahead. I bet Hermione hits harder than you do," Draco taunted him.

"I'm gonna kill you," Ron said venomously, clenching his fist. Then he lunged at Draco and took a swing at him. Draco ducked out of the way and Ron sent his hand right through the wall.

"Ow! Fuck! That bloody well hurt! I think my hand is broken," he cried as he held his bloodied up fist.

"Serves you right. You cannot punch my boyfriend!" Hermione told him angrily.

"He told me to do it!"

"So? You didn't have to do it! Now look at my sodding wall. It's got a hole in it!" She picked up a pillow and started hitting Ron over the head with it repeatedly. He held up his hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! I won't punch anyone. Stop hitting me!" he cried to Hermione.

She flung the pillow aside and got in Ron's face. "Go away. You know I care for you, but you're making a fool of yourself. I want you to leave now. And don't come back unless you can act like a grown up about this. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, I understand. Fuck. You hit hard, woman!"

"It was a fucking pillow not a hammer. Grow a pair."

"I have a pair, thank you very much. But you're brutal. Maybe you and Draco are suited to one another? Have fun together. I'm outta here," Ron said, still cradling his wounded hand and his bruised ego. It had been stupid for him to confront the two of them. Obviously Hermione had lost her marbles. That was the only explanation. And Ron was done with her. They were over and he had no reasons to tie himself to her any longer. Sure he still loved her, but it was clear where her loyalties lay and they weren't with him any longer. He just walked out and slammed the door as hard as he could and stalked off back to work. It was all he could really do.

After Ron left, Hermione and Draco just sort of stood in the room and didn't know what to say. Hermione was really angry and so was Draco, but not at each other. Draco couldn't believe her ex had the nerve to come to her apartment and try to attack him. And Hermione was just livid that Ron didn't care enough about her to respect her choices. She was fed up with so-called well meaning friends trying to protect her or think she was insane.

"Will you look at the hole in my wall? I can't believe Ron punched that," Hermione complained.

"Yeah, that could have been my face. Looks like he hits a bit harder than I thought he would. Good thing I ducked out of the way."

"Ugh. I really hate him right now. He has some nerve coming here and trying to attack you. How did you know it was him that was here? I mean, you were all ready for battle when he burst in."

"He was shouting so loud I couldn't help but overhear. I wasn't letting him come in here to pummel me or hex me without getting the upper hand," Draco explained.

"Would you really have caught his clothes on fire?" she asked him curiously.

He shrugged. "I dunno. I'm not sure exactly what I would have done, but I was ready for anything. But I wasn't going to crucio him, just so you know. I probably would have just stupefied him or something. Anything to get him off my back."

"I'm really sorry you've had to deal with my stupid friends like this. It's not fair. They don't even really know you," she apologized.

"Don't be sorry. I'm actually sorry for you cause these are your sodding best friends. And they kind of suck."

"They don't suck. They really don't. I swear they're usually not this horrible. It's just they don't understand this. I knew they wouldn't. But honestly you'd think I told them I was dating Voldemort the way they're acting. So what if you were a jerk in school? And so what if you were a Death Eater? People change! Obviously if you were still horrid or evil I wouldn't be with you. Don't they trust me at all?" she complained.

"I think it's me they don't trust. They think I've snowed you or somehow confunded you. I guess I don't blame them really. We are a bit of an odd match. But it actually works, so I don't care. I'm not who I used to be, and you're not who I thought you were. So it's like we're two different people than before. But I don't know if anyone gets that."

"I don't suppose they do. It's complicated. Even for me sometimes to grasp. But I just know how I feel. Nothing else matters."

He went over and kissed her softly and hugged her. "I love you. And nothing will change that. I don't care if no one approves."

"Me neither."

"How about I fix that hole in your wall meant for my face, huh?" he offered.

"Yes, please do. Otherwise I'll never get my security deposit back."

Draco used his wand and repaired the hole in the wall and then he set his wand down on the night table. "I don't know about you, but I'm famished. Why don't we get something to eat?" Draco offered.

"Yeah, sure. We could do that. I guess the mood we were in before is kind of lost," she sighed.

"Well I could get the mood back if you want?"

"No, that's fine. I am hungry. And I need some bloody aspirin. I was already hungover and Ron just made it worse. It's a miracle I didn't throw up onto him as he shouted at me."

"Now that would have been priceless. I would have gotten my camera out for that one," Draco laughed.

"The moment has passed now or else I'd march into his office at work and puke on his desk. Let him sort through those files," she said deviously.

"I like the way you think. People don't usually use vomit as a weapon, but it could be quite useful."

"It's definitely disgusting, that's for sure. Oh well, maybe next time. Not that there'll be a next time because I'm not planning on talking to him anymore after this. Not unless he bloody well apologizes to me and to you."

"Don't hold your breath."

"I won't. Come on, let's get dressed and go eat at that diner around the corner. It's one o'clock but I want breakfast food."

"Sounds good to me," he smiled at her.

Both of them just wanted to put the unpleasantness behind him. They both knew it was coming eventually but it was kind of ridiculous at the same time. Hermione was a grown woman and she was dating a guy she happened to love very much, who treated her very well. What was wrong with that? So what if they used to be enemies? That was a lifetime ago. And all of the dark things Draco had been involved in had been under coercion. He wasn't a bad person. Not anymore. Harry and Ron didn't even have the first clue as to what Draco was really like, so they shouldn't judge him so harshly. Or her, for that matter. They were acting as if she were feeble in some way and couldn't make her own choices. But she was done hiding away. And she was done feeling guilty for who she loved. Everyone else would just have to deal with it. And if they couldn't, then she'd just live without them. She didn't need people bringing her down. They should be happy that she was happy. But she knew it was more complicated than that. She still didn't care. It was her life. And she would live it the way she wanted to.

Some time went by and Hermione had not really talked to Harry or Ron at work. She avoided them like the plague. Especially Ron. He didn't seem to care much since he was being just as avoiding as she was. If he saw her coming, he immediately turned around and walked the other way. Harry was better. He did attempt to be pleasant to her, but their only conversations were superficial and incredibly short. She could tell he was highly uncomfortable yet trying really hard not to be. Hermione was slightly sad about the state of things, but she also didn't worry too much about it either. She couldn't allow herself to. If they really wanted to shun her because of her choice of boyfriend then they weren't worth her time. But she missed how it used to be. But such was life. She kept living her own and let them live theirs. She sat at her desk staring at an invitation that had been sent earlier in the day. The Ministry was putting on a big party at the end of the month and it was Halloween themed. It was supposed to be a bit of fun and costumes were optional, but she wasn't sure she really wanted to go. It would mean partying with her co-workers who weren't all that fun to party with. And also it meant Harry and Ron would be there most likely. And no way was she going to go alone. If she went, she wanted to bring Draco, but she had no idea if he'd even consent to a party at the Ministry. He very well may refuse to go. She wasn't sure. She just sat there contemplating her options and not getting any work done at all.

She finally packed it in for the day and took the invite with her. She went home and found Draco at her apartment, which wasn't all that unusual these days. He'd taken to just hanging out there with her cat and her telly and rarely went home to his own place anymore. She realized they might actually have unofficially moved in together, but neither one of them had actually said anything about it. But he was waiting for her on the couch with his feet up and two glasses of wine sitting on the coffee table. He smiled when she came in.

"How was your day, love?" he asked her.

She tossed her stuff down on the chair and sat down next to him. "It was alright. Just work. Nothing special. What did you do today?"

"I watched the telly all day. I'm addicted to this thing. There are some bloody good shows on. Oh and they had a Buffy marathon so I got to see a lot of shit I missed from before," he told her excitedly.

"How come you don't buy your own telly?"

"I don't know. I never knew I liked it so much until you made me watch it and I spent all this time at your place. Why should I buy one now when I have yours?"

"True. I guess it doesn't make sense since you're a permanent fixture in my flat these days."

"Is that a problem? I don't mean to be here all the time, but I just like it here. I could leave?" he offered.

She leaned over and kissed him. "No way. I like having you here. It beats coming home to an empty house. And I see you poured me wine, unless both these glasses are for you?"

"No, one is for you. I figured you might want it after a rough day at work."

She picked up one of the glasses and took a sip. "Heavenly. This is the good stuff again, isn't it?"

"It is. I splurged. You're worth it. I also have something else for you too. It's a present sort of. I did spend part of my day working on this, so I hope you like it," he told her.

"You made me a present?"

"Not exactly. I didn't handcraft it, but I put it together. You'll see what I mean. Here let me get it," he said as he got up and went over to the kitchen table and picked something up. He walked over and handed it to her. "It's a photo album. I put all the pictures I've taken since I got the camera into it. And I actually labeled stuff too, just in case we get old and senile and forget what the pictures are from."

She opened the album and flipped through it. In it were all the fun times they'd had together since he bought the camera. The bouncy house, the cake stealing, the Muggle road trip, a picture of Hermione lying in bed trying to make him stop taking the picture because she'd just woken up. It was all there in living, moving color. A huge smile came over her face.

"I love it, Draco. It's perfect. It's amazing. I didn't know you'd give me copies. Some of these are priceless. Like us in party hats from that child's birthday we crashed. It's hilarious."

"I'm glad you like it. I put up a lot of these pictures at my flat, but I figured maybe you wanted them too."

"I do. I totally want them. This is a really awesome present," she grinned at him as he leaned over to kiss him.

"We can add to it too. It's not filled up yet. I figured every time we get new pictures, we'll put them in here. At least until we need a new album. I suspect and hope we have many of these someday," he said a little unsure what the future looked like for them.

"I think we'll have loads of these albums someday. Shelves of them. Just imagine if we ever get married and have kids. We'll need a room just for photos and nothing else," she grinned at him.

"Get married and have children? You want to do that with me?" he asked curiously.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe? Someday. Not today or anything. But the thought has entered my mind. Is that scary?"

He shook his head. "No, it's not scary at all. I mean, someday. I'm still a little crazed right now and I don't think I'm ready to be that grown up yet, but definitely I see my future as being with you. There's no one else I'd rather marry and have a family with," he said sincerely.

"Conversations like this used to terrify me with Ron. But it doesn't scare me with you. I think maybe because we're on the same page about it. You're not insisting we run off and do it now and I should be preggers within the month."

"Did the Weasel actually suggest that? To get married and pregnant when you were so young?" Draco inquired.

"Yeah, he did. He was serious too. He kept using his parents as an example of how we should be. And then Harry was no help really because his parents married right out of school too and had Harry by the time they were twenty."

"But Potter isn't married yet. Is he? Did I miss something?"

"No, Harry and Ginny aren't married. Yet. But I suspect it won't be too long before they are. Ginny wants a big family. It makes Harry squirm when she talks about it. Especially when she tells him how twins run in her family," Hermione laughed.

"Twins would suck. My God, how would you look after them properly? I'd go nuts. Twins don't run in your family do they?"

"No. Well maybe? I think my grandmother had twin sisters. Does that count? I never met them."

"I think it still counts even if you never met them. They still existed," he laughed slightly.

"Well I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure we'll be fine whenever that moment arrives."

"I really only want one child. Then you can spoil them properly and there's no sibling rivalry and your affections don't need to be divided. Plus, there's the sanity factor in that one might be all I could handle," Draco told her seriously.

"Only one? Really? I thought you'd want more."

"Do you want more?"

"I don't know. Maybe two? One of each?"

"Meh, I don't know. I just want a son."

"Well what if you don't get a son right out of the gate? Wouldn't you try again?"

"I suppose so. Not that I have anything against little girls, mind you. I would be okay with a girl. But a son is my dream. I just want to mold him into a better me. Better than my father molded me. I want him to be everything I wasn't, and to shield him from the bad shit that I had to put up with. Hell I don't even care if he's a Slytherin."

"What? Are you even serious? You don't care?"

"Okay, so maybe I do care a bit. He should be a Slytherin. But if his mom was in Gryffindor, what could I do if he took after you? As long as he's not a bloody Hufflepuff. I'd be ashamed of that and have to pull him out of school and send him to Durmstrang."

"Don't I get a say in this? So what if our metaphorical son is a Hufflepuff? They're perfectly nice people," she said defending her fellow classmates.

"But they're like the joke of the school. It's like when the sorting hat has no idea what the fuck to do with you and they just throw you in Hufflepuff. It's like a dumping ground for unclassifiable people."

"Rubbish! Cedric Diggory was a Hufflepuff and he was so brave and talented he was chosen for the Twi-Wizard Tournament."

"Yeah, and he fucking died. What does that say about Hufflepuff?"

"That they're no match for Voldemort, who thankfully no longer exists."

"I guess. Are we really arguing over our fictional child's Hogwarts house when they don't even exist yet?"

She laughed slightly. "I have a feeling this is an argument we'll have a lot in our lives."

"Well it's a fun argument. It's nice to dream about someday. But I guess I should focus more on getting my act together today rather than dreaming of the future."

"You're not that hopeless you know. You haven't even had a nightmare in months."

"Yes, I have. I just didn't tell you about it. Luckily it wasn't the wake up screaming kind. It was the cold sweat shaking in my boots kind," he told her honestly.

"Why didn't you tell me? I thought things were better."

"Things are better. Mostly. But I have a lot of pent up shit."

"Maybe you should see a shrink?" 

"A what?"

"You know, a shrink? A psychiatrist? They're Muggle doctors."

"You mean like one of those people who listen to your problems and then give you pills to make you numb to the horror your life is?"

"Yes."

"No way. I'm not doing that. I don't need a doctor. I just need to stop obsessing. But I am better. I don't drink during the day anymore at all. And I've almost quit cigarettes. Sort of," he told her.

"It was just a suggestion. I read something once in a magazine about how there are actual dream therapists who help you work through your issues by interpreting your dreams."

"I don't need them interpreted. They're pretty fucking clear. So thanks, but no thanks."

"Okay. No worries. I didn't expect you to say yes. But I was just throwing it out there."

"It's something I'll deal with on my own. Just meeting you has made all the difference. I feel alive again. And that's no small feat. I was so fucked up when I met you. I didn't think I'd ever be happy again. Or at all," he admitted.

"I know what you mean. I was in a low spot when we met too. I don't usually have nightmares anymore, but I was pretty confused about myself and my life and my future. I didn't know what I was doing," she said quietly.

"I know I was your biggest mistake in your low point, but I'm glad you stuck around and got to know me."

"You weren't my biggest mistake. You weren't a mistake. I mean, at the time I thought you were, but I was proved wrong."

He leaned over and kissed her. "You were my best drunken mistake I ever made. Who knew I'd actually fall in love with you almost instantly?"

"Well to hear you tell it, you always fancied me but were too much of a prick to do anything about it except insult me," she said with a sly grin.

"Guilty as charged. I did tell you that. And I meant it. Stupid as it sounds, I was always fascinated by you because you were the one thing I could never have. And the old Draco wasn't used to not getting whatever he wanted."

"Well the old Draco sucked. Sorry to say, but it's true. I like the new improved real Draco. He's pretty damn cool. So cool, that I'm thinking I should show you off in public," she said trying to hint her way into a discussion of her work party.

"Show me off in public? We go in public all the time."

"I know, but I meant other public. Like Wizarding public. See, there's this party at my work and I'd kind of like to go, but I don't want to go alone," she told him.

"A work party? At the Ministry? With Harry and Ron and countless other people who watched me be on trial for war crimes? Are you serious?" he asked incredulously.

"It won't be bad. I promise. And the hearings were over ages ago. Plus, you were found innocent. That matters! No one is going to shun you or be mean to you. Except for Ron. But we'll stay away from him," she told him, trying to be convincing.

"I don't know. A Ministry party? Will there even be booze?"

"Yes. It said open bar. And who could pass up seeing the Minister of Magic drunk? No one. So you have to come."

"It's a little high profile for me. I don't think I want to go," he told her seriously.

"Oh please? I don't want to go alone. And even if it's not mandatory that I go, it's rather frowned upon to skip work functions because they want to promote a good image of a happy family of worker bees."

"Is this for Halloween? Do I have to dress up? If so, no way. I'm not doing that."

"Costumes are optional. We can wear regular clothes. In fact, I'd never wear a costume because I'd worry I'd end up being the only one."

"That would suck. You'd be in like a bunny costume and everyone else is in a tux and fancy dress. I'd die laughing," he told her with a grin.

"A bunny costume? As if. But I'm not going to chance it. When it doubt, wear normal clothes. It's safer. Do you have anything dressy anymore?"

"Dressy? Um, not really. I left almost all my clothes at home. I went out and bought new stuff. But if the party means that much to you, I'll get something. I still think it's a horrid idea for me to go though," he told her.

"You have to come out of hiding someday. And this will be like a debut. The new Draco Malfoy."

"I don't know. I don't think the world is ready yet for the new Draco Malfoy. Or maybe I'm not ready for it."

"It'll be okay. And if it's not, then we can leave. At least then I can say I showed my face there," she reassured him.

"Alright. I'll go. But this is gonna be a weird situation for me. Are you sure you really want me there?"

"I'm positive."

"Okay."

Draco only agreed to this because it meant a lot to her. But he was nervous. This wasn't his scene and with her hostile friends being in attendance there was no telling the disaster it might end up as. But he would be on his best behavior, that's for sure. So at least if there was trouble, no one could say he caused it. That was the important part.

When the night of the party arrived, they each got ready and dressed up nicely. It had been quite some time since Draco wore a suit or bothered to actually comb his hair. He looked into the mirror and he looked like his old self again. It was unsettling to him because it was a persona he'd tried very hard to shed, and yet with just a little window dressing, there he was again, staring right back at him in the mirror.

"You look great," Hermione told him as she came up behind him and hugged him.

"Are you sure? It's weird to see myself like this again. All dressed up and polished looking."

"I think you look very handsome. And just because you look like the old Draco, doesn't mean you are him," she reassured him.

"Yeah, I guess." He turned around to look at her. She was wearing a lavender dress with matching heels. "You look quite stunning," he told her with a kiss.

"Well thank you," she smiled up at him. "Shall we go now?"

"I guess. It's best to get it over with."

They set off to the party via the Floo Network and landed right in the lobby of the Ministry. They stepped out and loads of other people were arriving too. They were all heading to a ballroom on the third floor. Draco didn't really recognize anyone, but a few people seemed to recognize him. He saw them pointing and whispering as they headed for the elevators. He felt highly self conscious and told Hermione as much.

"It's alright. Maybe they were pointing and whispering because we look so awesome tonight?" she said hopefully.

"Yeah, I'll bet that's it," he said disbelieving. "People are probably wondering what I'm doing here and with you of all people."

"Let them wonder. I don't care," she said holding his arm tighter as they stepped onto a crowded elevator. They got to the floor quickly and followed everyone off and headed to the ballroom. The place was decorated up very nicely with a Halloween theme décor. Purple and orange lights glowed along the ceiling and there were pumpkins lying in the corners and some of the braver souls were dressed in costumes. Draco's eyes immediately scanned the room to find the open bar. He saw it and he took Hermione's hand and led them over there. They got drinks and just milled around by themselves for awhile. No one paid a lot of attention to them, which was great. But then someone came walking through the crowd with a camera and Draco could see the flashbulb going off at frequent intervals.

"Who's taking pictures?" he asked Hermione.

"I don't know. Probably just someone who wants to capture this night in their memory books."

"You don't think it's the press do you?" he asked worriedly.

"The press? Probably not. Don't worry about it," she said as she continued to sip her drink.

After a bit, Harry and Ginny caught sight of the two of them standing near the bar. Ginny poked Harry.

"You should go over and say hello to them," she urged him.

"I can't believe she actually brought him here," Harry lamented.

"Well who else would she have brought? Her cat? Draco is her boyfriend."

"I know, but it's still so weird to actually see them together."

"Will you please just get over it and go talk to them?" Ginny said with exasperation as she shoved Harry along.

They walked over and greeted the pair.

"Hello. Are you two having fun?" Harry asked politely.

"Yes, it's fun so far," Hermione answered.

"Yeah, it's a blast," Draco told him.

"Well good, I'm glad you're having fun.

"Look Potter, you don't have to make nice with me. I can see that it pains you to speak to me," Draco told him.

"No, it doesn't. It's fine. I'm just trying to get used to it all," he confessed.

"I didn't want to come. Hermione made me."

"Well maybe it's good to get out. And party's are usually fun," Harry told him.

"Yeah, usually. But I don't know how many of these people actually want me here."

"Don't be silly. I don't think anyone really cares," Ginny piped up.

"You think so?" Draco wondered.

"Well I haven't heard anyone say anything about your presence. In fact, I'm not sure that most of these stuffed shirts even know who you are," Ginny told him with a shrug.

Draco scanned the crowd and found one guy staring him down and giving him a hard look.

"I think that bloke cares I'm here. He's giving me the evil eye," Draco pointed out, nodding his head towards the guy.

Harry and Ginny both looked in his direction.

"That's Alan. Voldemort killed his parents. So I think he's a little sore about Death Eaters. And he knows who your family is," Harry told him.

Draco sighed. "My family didn't kill his family. We were lucky to survive ourselves."

Hermione put her arm around Draco. "Don't pay him any mind. I doubt he'll say anything to you."

"Well I think Ginny and I are going to go mingle with some other people now. We'll see you guys later," Harry told them, just wanting to get away from an uncomfortable situation.

When they walked away Ginny looked at Harry. "That was a nice start, but you could have said more."

"More? What else was I supposed to say? It's weird talking to him. We never had a normal conversation in our entire lives. Just be glad I went over there and made nice," Harry told her.

"Fine, I guess you're right. I just feel bad for the two of them standing over there by themselves like two lepers. They're afraid to even mingle."

"Well that's not really my problem. They could mingle if they wanted to."

Back over at the bar Draco looked at Hermione. "This party sucks, love. How much longer do we have to be here?"

"It's barely started. We haven't even danced yet."

"There's going to be dancing?" 

"Yes."

"Ugh, I don't want to do any dancing. Not with these people."

"Just have another drink. You'll feel better," she told him as she pulled him into the line for more refreshments.

Once the music started up and people began to dance, she forced him onto the floor amidst his protests.

"Don't tell me you don't know how to dance properly," she asked him.

"No I do. I had to learn back in school for the Yule Ball, remember? I just don't want to do it."

"Well indulge me."

They danced for a bit and then they accidentally ran into Ron and Sarah. Ron was giving them a glare and they tried to dance their way away from them, but it was without success. Ron and Sarah stopped dancing and Ron walked over to the two of them.

"Can I cut in?" he asked Draco.

"No mate, sorry."

"Look, I just want to talk to Hermione. You can dance with Sarah," Ron said, thrusting his date at Draco.

"But I don't want to…" Draco never finished his sentence because Ron just grabbed Hermione and started dancing with her. Draco wanted to punch his lights out but that might make too big of a commotion and he wanted to blend in and not cause mayhem at a Ministry party. He just looked over at Sarah.

"Looks like it's just the two of us. Do you want to dance with me?" Sarah asked cautiously.

"Sure. Why not?"

He took Sarah in his arms and they began dancing slowly, but he kept her at arms length. Her enormous boobs were still pressed against him and he couldn't help but glance down at them and enjoy the sight. He loved Hermione but he was still a man. And he was not at all comfortable with this situation.

"I think that it's a bad idea to try and come between Ron and Hermione," Sarah said sadly.

"What do you mean?" Draco asked her.

"Well she's all he talks about. And also you. He really hates you. But I think it's because he still loves her. I can't compete. Did you see how he just dumped me in your lap in favor of her?" Sarah lamented with tears forming in her eyes.

"Hey now, don't get all weepy. He doesn't have a chance in hell of getting Hermione back from me. She loves me," Draco insisted as he glanced over at Ron and Hermione dancing. They seemed awkward and they were holding each other at arms length too. Hermione looked perturbed, which pleased Draco. "Look at them. She's not at all happy by his presence," Draco pointed out to Sarah.

"Yeah, well it's not really her I'm worried about. It's him. He still loves her and it's killing him that she's with you. And I've done nothing but be the best girlfriend in the world to Ron. I give him everything. And it's not enough. The two of them have history. Ron's mum still refers to Hermione as her daughter in law, and they were never even married!" Sarah cried.

"I'm sorry. That's fucked up. Why do you still go out with him?"

"Because I love him. And I keep thinking if I try hard enough, he'll love me too. But maybe I'm just fooling myself."

"Ron is a total git. I mean look at you. You're beautiful. If he'd throw you away over someone who's already dumped him and moved on, then he's more of an idiot than I knew," Draco said comfortingly.

"You're really sweet. I don't know why Ron says you're evil and no good. You seem plenty good to me," Sarah smiled at him.

"Well thanks. I wasn't always this nice. But I'm trying."

Back over where Ron and Hermione were dancing the air was considerably chillier.

"How dare you cut in and take me away from Draco like that. Are you mad?" Hermione asked him as he forcefully made her dance.

"I just wanted to talk to you. I wanted to see if there was some chance for us. I mean, surely you can't really be serious about Draco?" Ron told her.

"I _am_ serious about him! And what about Sarah?" 

Ron glanced over to Sarah and Draco and saw Draco looking at Sarah's boobs. It was obvious.

Ron snickered. "He's checking out Sarah's boobs right now. Maybe he's not as faithful as you think he is."

Hermione looked over and noticed Draco had his eyes trained on Sarah's face and not her chest. "He's not looking at her boobs. He's looking at her face," she protested.

"Well you missed it then. But I saw it."

"And you're just okay with some other guy ogling your girlfriends chest?"

"I don't love her, Hermione. I love you. I'm always going to love you. Don't you get that?" Ron pleaded with her.

"Well I don't feel the same. So you're just going to have to let go of that dream."

"But we were in love since we were children. I loved you the moment we met. And Draco? You hated him the moment you met him. He called you horrible names. He actually once even said he hoped you died. How can you love him?"

"He was just a boy then. He was stupid. He's not like that now. And the fact that he did not make a scene here tonight when you ripped me out of his grasp speaks to his character and the changes he's made. He could have beat you up," she pointed out.

"As if he could beat me up. I'd sweep the floor with him."

"In your dreams, maybe. Just go back to Sarah. This dance is over," she told him as she pulled out of his grasp and walked over towards Draco.

Sarah was touching Draco's face. "You're a really great guy. Maybe if things don't work out with Hermione, you'll give me a go?" she said with a wink.

"Uh, that's a great offer, but I don't think I'll be taking you up on it. Don't get me wrong. You're lovely, but I'm planning to stick with Hermione," he told her as he peeled her arms off his shoulders, just as Hermione walked up and didn't look real pleased.

"I'm cutting back in," Hermione announced and she sort of shoved Sarah out of the way as she pushed her way back into Draco's arms. Sarah just stalked off, feeling defeated. "What were you talking about? It looked rather cozy with her touching your face," Hermione said feeling jealousy creep in.

"It was nothing. She came on to me a little bit, but I set her straight! I told her no way."

"Came on to you huh? What about Ron?"

"She's convinced he still loves you. So I guess she thought we could just swap or something," Draco explained.

"Well she's not wrong. Ron was being really stupid and saying stupid things. I think he's drunk."

"I think Sarah is too. But he's not going to win you back is he? I mean, she was talking about how the two of us couldn't compete with your history together," Draco told her softly.

"Of course not! He's not winning me back. I'm not a prize to be won. Even if I wasn't with you, I wouldn't be going back to Ron. I've been there and done that, and it didn't work out. So stop fretting. I love only you," she reassured him with a kiss.

"I love only you too."

"So you weren't checking out Sarah's huge rack then?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You saw that?"

"So you _did_ check it out?" she asked with a tone of disappointment and jealousy.

"It was just for a second! They were right there in my face. I couldn't help it."

"Men. They're all the same. Just horny bastards," she muttered.

"Oh come on. Women can be just as bad. If there was some hot guy walking around with a huge boner in his pants, don't tell me you wouldn't look at it," he scoffed.

"A huge boner? I'd probably die laughing if I saw that," she admitted with a giggle.

"You wouldn't be turned on?" 

"I don't know. I might be curious if it looked really big or something," she admitted.

"Aha! So women _can_ be cretins too. It's not just men. Besides, looking is harmless. It's not like I want her. I have you. You're the only one I want," he reassured her.

"Fine. But no more dancing with her."

"Fine by me. I don't want you dancing with Ron either. I hated seeing that."

"I'm surprised you allowed it. I expected you to protest or punch him or something."

"I wanted to. But how would it look if I started a brawl in the middle of a Ministry party? I didn't need to get arrested or thrown out for beating up one of their favorite employees," he explained.

"True. It wouldn't have gone over well if you attacked him."

"Besides, I'm trying to be nice. God only knows why since he's not nice to me. But I want people to see that I'm not a complete asshole."

"Well I think it's working. It's good of you to be nice even when people aren't nice to you. It takes a lot of strength to hold back, I'd assume," she told him.

"It does. In fact, I think I need another drink."

They walked off the dance floor and went to get in line for drinks again. They were standing there together and Draco had his arm around her. And then he leaned over and kissed her and then he heard the flashbulb go off. He looked up and saw someone had taken their picture. But before he could even question them, they had stalked off and took the camera elsewhere. Draco just shrugged it off. He figured it was just someone taking pictures for an office newsletter or something, so he just pushed it out of his mind and got his drink. They spent most of the evening just standing by the bar and finally Hermione said they could go home. They'd put in enough time. Draco was relieved to get out of there. But he did manage to go the whole evening without anyone saying anything bad to him. Or anything at all. It looked like no one really cared, which was a good thing. It was a far cry from how it was when he first left home. He supposed that enough time had gone by now that no one even gave him a second thought. That's just how he wanted it to be.

The next morning, they got up and went about their normal morning routine and Hermione was making them breakfast when the familiar owl arrived through her window dropping off a copy of the Daily Prophet. Draco never really read it and always just handed it to Hermione who liked to keep up on the news in the magical community. He picked it up off the windowsill and went to give it to her but then he caught the headline. _War Heroine Hermione Granger Was Spotted Getting Cozy With Former Death Eater Draco Malfoy_. And right there was a big picture of the two of them kissing while standing in line for their drinks.

"Oh bloody hell," he muttered as he stood there transfixed on the paper.

"What is it?" Hermione asked him curiously as she made eggs.

"Look at this headline. So much for keeping a low profile," he said as he tossed the paper at her.

She picked it up and read it and saw the accompanying picture. "Oh my God. This is ridiculous! We made front page news?" she asked astonished.

"I guess someone noticed I was there after all," he said miserably.

Hermione read the article and then just threw it back down on the counter. "It's a stupid article. It talks about how I jilted Ron in favor of you and that the entire magical community is in shock over it. Who the hell said that? No one even said a word to us! Who was in shock? All it says is 'sources close to the couple'. Who do you think that is?"

"It's either Ron or Harry. Take your pick. No one else would have talked to the press. My bet is on Ron. Especially after you made it quite clear to him last night that you were never going back to him."

"I can't believe this. Of all the stories to print, why this one? This isn't supposed to be a gossip rag. It's supposed to have actual news in it," she complained.

"Well apparently we're news."

Meanwhile, someone else was reading this same paper and the look on their face was a mixture of shock and elation. Narcissa Malfoy stood there in the study of her home staring at the picture of her long lost son. She thought she'd never see him again. But there he was. Right on the front page. But he was kissing Hermione Granger. That was a shocker. And it appalled her slightly, but her relief at seeing Draco's face overrode any unpleasant feelings she might have had. She called out to her husband.

"Lucius! Come in here quickly! Look at the paper!" she called out to him.

He walked into the room and looked at her curiously. "What is it?"

"Look at this. It's Draco!" She shoved the paper at him and he took it and read the headline and saw the picture.

"Draco is with Hermione Granger? Surely this is a misprint," he said disbelieving.

"No, it's not. It's really him. Look at him. Oh my God, I never thought we'd ever see him again. But there he is!"

"Yes, there he is. He looks well enough. But what on earth possessed him to take up with the Granger girl? No wonder he ran away. He knows we'd never approve of this nonsense. What is he thinking?" Lucius said shaking his head.

"Oh will you stop it. Who cares who he's with. He's alive and well and right there in the paper. Don't you realize what this means? We've found him!"

"Yes, well, I'm pleased at that. But he's kissing this girl. And the article says they've been seeing each other for months. That doesn't sound like our son."

"Will you please just get over his choice of romantic partner and understand that this means we might get our son back?" Narcissa scolded him.

"How do you propose we get him back? Are you planning to visit this Granger girl?"

"Yes. She obviously knows where he lives and I'm going to make her tell me."

Narcissa didn't much care who Draco's girlfriend was. It was a little shocking and unexpected, but all she really cared about was that he was okay. He was still out there in the world and even being invited to Ministry functions. He wasn't in trouble or hurt in some way. Now all she had to do was convince Hermione to lead her to him and then they could be a family again. It was the only thing Narcissa wanted and she'd do anything to get her son back.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

**Lyrics are from Linkin Park Numb**

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
>Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface<br>Don't know what you're expecting of me  
>Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes<br>Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_I've become so numb, I can't feel you there  
>Become so tired, so much more aware<br>I'm becoming this, all I want to do  
>Is be more like me and be less like you<em>

_And I know  
>I may end up failing too.<br>But I know  
>You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.<em>

Hermione sat in her office at her desk and just wanted to hide from everyone. Everyone had seen the article in the paper and now everyone was asking her about Draco. Some of the people had seen them together at the party but had no idea who he was until it was blasted all over the front page news. Now everyone wanted to know why she was dating a former Death Eater. And no one could seem to understand the concept of people turning over new leaves and changing. A couple of people were sympathetic to her plight and said Draco was too handsome to pass up. So what about his past? But those were mostly vacuous women who only cared about how hot a guy was and nothing else. Plus some of them were also quite intrigued by the size of his bank account as well. But other people were less nice about it and gave her dirty looks and there were whispers of her being a traitor to their cause. She felt like crying over it because since when did her personal life become relevant to her job? She had questioned Harry extensively and he swore he wasn't the one who talked to the press. But when she asked if it was Ron, Harry just got quiet and said he didn't know. She wasn't going to confront Ron herself because it would only make her more upset. But she knew it had to have been him. No one else would do it. But if he thought the negative press was going to make her break up with Draco, he had another thing coming. She was stronger than that. And she loved Draco more than that.

Just then there was a knock at her door and her secretary popped her head in.

"Miss Granger?"

"What do you want?" Hermione snapped at her.

"Um, sorry am I interrupting something?"

"No, no. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. What is it?"

"Well there's someone here to see you. I didn't know what to tell her."

"Who is it?"

"It's Narcissa Malfoy. She said it was urgent that she speak with you, but she has no appointment. What should I tell her?" the secretary asked.

"My God…Did she say what it was she wanted that was so urgent?"

"No. She said it was personal."

Hermione sighed. "Okay, let her in. I'm pretty sure I know what this about."

The secretary vacated the office and Hermione waited for Mrs. Malfoy to appear. She was nervous and her hands were shaking. She'd never actually met her before, but she could only assume there was one reason she'd visit her and that was Draco. Obviously she'd seen the paper. The door opened and the secretary ushered Narcissa in and closed the door.

"Uh, hello Mrs. Malfoy," Hermione said as she stood and greeted her.

Narcissa held out her hand for Hermione to shake it. "Please, call me Narcissa. And you are the lovely Miss Granger. We've never formally met."

"No we haven't. Why are you here, might I ask?"

"Well I think you probably know. I saw the newspaper. I saw you with my Draco on the front page. I admit I was a little astonished to witness you two kissing, but I was just so pleased to see Draco again," Narcissa explained.

"Yes, well, we've been dating for awhile now. I know he hasn't been in contact with you though," Hermione told her uncomfortably.

"No, he hasn't. We haven't heard from him in nearly two years. I thought the worst had happened, but Lucius assured me he was alive and well somewhere. He was watching the bank withdrawals. For a few weeks though, when he first left, I thought perhaps he was dead. He was in an awful state before and not in his right mind. I feared for him, but he wouldn't let me help him."

"Yes, he was pretty traumatized when he left. He needed time alone."

"Yes, well he's had plenty of time alone now. And he looks well. Is he well? Is he really okay?" Narcissa pressed her.

"He's fine. He's still a little upset over some things and sometimes has nightmares, but he's doing alright. I've helped him. He was alone for a very long time and it wasn't good for him," Hermione admitted to her.

"Oh dear, what did he do? What was he like when you found him?"

"He was pretty down on himself and the entire world. He drank a lot. He was rather a mess, honestly."

"I knew it. I knew it when he left that he wasn't himself. He was so withdrawn. And so angry at his father. We tried to find him. We tried to have the goblins at the bank alert us when he entered the establishment and then we'd rush over there, but he was always gone. And you can't really trust goblins either. Such low creatures. But we were desperate," Narcissa told her with tears forming in her eyes.

"Well he's okay now. He's not in any danger. He's been trying to get his life together. You'd be proud, I think. Maybe anyway. I know seeing him with me must upset you and your husband," Hermione admitted quietly.

"Yes, well, it was a surprise to say the least. But I'm not as close minded as my husband. Of course I wished for Draco to eventually marry a pureblood girl, but I also wish for him to be happy. And after the fights he had with Lucius, I saw that he no longer cared about such nonsense as blood status. He was quite adamant that it didn't matter to him anymore. And I suppose the best way to get back at us was to find you."

"He's not using me to get back at you. We're in love. It has nothing to do with either one of you. Draco is just living his life," Hermione protested.

"I see. Well, either way, I'd like to see him. And I know you know where he is. Will you take me to him?" Narcissa asked hopefully.

"I don't know. He's made it quite clear to me that he doesn't wish to see his family. I-I can't just go against his wishes," Hermione told her regretfully.

"But surely he would see me. I'm his mother! I love him. And it wasn't me he was cross with when he left. It was his father. I was just helpless to do anything. I want to see my son and I won't leave here until you tell me where to find him," Narcissa said forcefully.

Hermione didn't know what to do. She was lost. She didn't want Draco angry with her, but she also didn't know how to get rid of his mother either.

"Please understand that I can't just take you to him. It has to be his choice. He'd freak out if you just walked in the door with me. I can't tell you where he is. I'm sorry."

"That's just not acceptable. I've been looking for him for nearly two years. And you know where he is. I will not have you turn me away. Not when I'm this close. You don't understand since you're not a mother. You aren't a mother, are you? Please tell me I don't have a grandchild I've never met," Narcissa fretted.

"No, no. I'm not a mother. There's no grandchildren. I promise you that. And you're right I don't understand what it's like to lose a child like this. But he's a grown man, not a little boy. How about I just talk to him for you? I'll try and convince him to meet with you. That's the best I can do," Hermione told her firmly.

Narcissa sighed and shook her head. "Fine. Talk to him. But please be convincing. You have no idea how much I've missed him. I need to see him again. I need to be a part of his life."

"I'll do my best. I promise."

"Alright. If I don't hear anything in a few days, I will be back here. And I'll follow you home or pay someone to tell me where you live. I won't just give up," Narcissa promised her.

"Like I said, I'll do my best. I don't need you following me around or paying people to get my address."

"Then be convincing."

"I will be."

"Alright. Good day to you then. It was nice meeting you, Miss Granger."

"Nice to meet you too."

Narcissa turned on her heel and marched out the door and Hermione just laid her head on her desk. How was she ever going to convince Draco to see his mother? He was so adamant about keeping his distance, she had no idea what she could say to convince him. That stupid newspaper article was ruining everything.

She got home and found Draco in his usual spot on the sofa. He smiled at her when she came in, but she found it hard to smile back.

"What's wrong, love? Was work awful? Did people give you a hard time over the article?" he asked her.

"You could say that. I'm famous at work now. I can't even go to the bloody loo without overhearing people talking about us. But that's not why I'm upset," she told him.

"Well then what is it?"

Hermione sighed and plopped down on the sofa next to him. "I had a visitor today. Someone who I was not expecting and who was very adamant that I tell them where to find you."

He looked at her strangely. "Who? Who would want to find me?"

"Um, your bloody mother, that's who. Duh, Draco. She's only been looking for you for almost two years," she said giving him a look.

"Oh shit. My _mum_ was there? At your office?"

"Yes. And she was really pushy and threatened to follow me home or pay someone for my address. You have to talk to her," Hermione pleaded with him.

"Talk to her? What would I say? It's been almost two years. Was my father there too?" he asked feeling his stomach sink.

"No, thank God. It was just her. She claims that you weren't cross with her and would want to see her. But I didn't know what to say. I just told her I'd have to talk to you first."

"Oh fuck. She's right though. I wasn't really cross with her. I know she loves me. But she's also insufferably loyal to my father. And I don't feel like she's really on my side. That's why I avoided both of them," he explained.

"Well she really misses you and loves you and will stop at nothing to see you. Did you know they had the goblins at the bank spying on you? They were telling your parents when you would arrive, but they always got there too late to catch you," she explained.

"Shit. They had goblins spying on me? I had no idea. They must have done a shitty job of it since it's been almost two years and they never managed to get to me in time."

"Yeah, well now your mum knows how to get to you better. She knows you're with me. And she knows where I work. So unless you see her, she's going to be a bloody thorn in my side," Hermione told him seriously.

"What do I do though? I don't want to go back to the Manor."

"Maybe you should? I mean, maybe your father will be so happy to see you that you can just put your differences aside?" she offered hopefully.

"Not bloody likely. My father is stubborn. And notice how he didn't rush off to the Ministry to see you. It was just my mum. He probably doesn't even want to see me after he saw us kissing in the paper," Draco lamented bitterly.

"You don't know that's true. Your mum said she only wanted you happy. Perhaps so does he?"

"Yeah because he's always been real concerned about that. All he cared about were appearances."

"But he wanted you happy. He gave you everything you ever wanted. Surely he did that out of love?"

"I don't know. I guess. If he even knows what love really is. I'm not so sure he does," Draco admitted.

"Just go and see them. How bad could it be? And if it is really bad, just leave. You never have to go back there again. But I think you should at least show your face. For your mother's sake," Hermione pleaded.

"I'm doing this for you. Just so my mum doesn't stalk you or drive you insane. But if it goes horribly, I will not go back no matter how much my mum pleads," Draco said firmly.

"Okay. But I do think this is something you need to do in order to heal yourself properly. You can't leave a huge rift in your life. It's unfinished business. This will at least bring closure if nothing else."

"Yeah, maybe you're right? I don't know. But I'll go. Tomorrow. Tonight I just need a drink or a thousand. Something to steel my nerves. I feel like I'm getting ready to face a firing squad."

She ran her hands through his hair and kissed him on the cheek. "It'll be alright."

Draco didn't believe her, but he knew she meant well. He never meant for his mum to hunt her down at work and bother her. Of course he never expected to be on the front page of the bloody paper either. He knew he should have refused to go to that stupid party. But what's done, was done. And now he had to face up to his family. And he had no idea what they would think of him or his life choices. But he wasn't expecting hugs and puppies. He was preparing himself for a battle.

The next day he sat on Hermione's sofa trying to get up the courage to go to the Manor. He already had three drinks and it was only eleven. Plus he knew showing up drunk wasn't going to win him any points. But he had to do something to calm himself. But he finally got off the sofa and prepared himself for the inevitable. He apparated out of Hermione's flat and right onto the grounds of his old home. It looked different. It looked overgrown. Or maybe he just wasn't used to being there anymore. The house didn't look inviting at all. It was big and looming and just stank of snobbery. He already hated it there and he hadn't even gone inside yet. He tentatively walked up the driveway and ran into the flock of peacocks his dad kept on the grounds. Stupid birds. They always seemed so pretentious to him. He ignored them and continued up the drive. When he got to the door he didn't know what to do. Should he knock? Just barge in? He had no idea. So he just knocked. It felt weird to knock at his own house, but he didn't live there anymore. And he never planned to live there again. It took some time, but eventually his mother came to the door.

"Hello Mum," he said as politely as he could.

She ran at him and hugged him tightly. "Oh Draco! You came! I'm so pleased. Let me look at you," she said as she held his shoulders and put him at arms length so she could scrutinize him. "What sort of clothes are these? And do I smell liquor on your breath?"

"Mum, don't give me a hard time. I'm here because you begged Hermione for me to see you. So here I am," he told her.

"Yes, okay. You're right. I shouldn't quibble over silly things. You look different though. Your hair isn't combed and those clothes are a bit shabby, you must admit."

"These are the clothes I like. And my hair is fine. Are you going to have me in or are we just going to critique my appearance on the doorstep?" he asked.

"Of course, come in. Come in. I'm so happy to see you. Where have you been?" she asked him as she ushered him into the foyer.

"I've been in London. I needed to get away from this house. I don't like it here anymore. Plus I needed to get away from all the fighting and prying into my life. It wasn't good for me here."

"Nonsense. This is your home. And I know you and your father didn't see eye to eye, but that's no reason to just up and disappear for almost two years! I was horrified. I was so worried. Why didn't you ever write to us to at least tell us you were okay?" she scolded him.

"I just didn't. I wanted my space. And the only reason I'm here now is because I don't want you bothering Hermione about me."

"Yes, Hermione. She seems nice. Are you in love with her?"

"Yes, I am. Does that disappoint you?" he wondered.

"I have no opinion. If you're happy then I'm happy," she said in a clipped tone.

"I bet Father has an opinion, doesn't he?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" she told him, just as Lucius walked into the room and caught sight of his long lost son.

"Ah, the prodigal son has returned. I thought I heard your voice, Draco. Your mother said you would come, but I didn't believe it," Lucius told him.

"Well I'm here. And how are you, Father? Well I assume."

"I've been fine except for worrying about you. Obviously you've put your mother and me through quite a lot of stress these last two years. What do you have to say for yourself?" Lucius asked.

Draco shrugged. "I have nothing to say for myself. I wanted to leave, so I left. I was a big boy. I didn't have to tell you where I was going," he said defiantly.

"Very well, but it was not exactly the most considerate thing to do. To up and disappear in the middle of the night, and not be heard from for almost two years? What sort of son does such a thing?"

"A very angry one. Don't you get it yet, Father? I was angry. I didn't want to live like you wanted me to live. I didn't want to join your business or be a snobby asshole anymore. I wanted to be someone else. Someone different. And you wouldn't allow me that freedom. So I got the hell out of here."

"As if your life here was a bad one. I offered you everything. And your mother was always doting on you. What more could one ask for?" Lucius asked him.

"I wanted freedom. Not smothering or being told what to do or who to hang out with. And you never once said you were sorry for what happened to us with Voldemort. You were the reason he took over our lives. But you always told me to never speak of it again. But guess what? I couldn't do that! You just brushed it all under the rug!"

"What would you have me do? Dwell on it? We were found innocent of wrong doing. I saw no reason to sit around and mope about things. We were given the opportunity to have our lives back. That's all I was trying to do."

"Well I couldn't just go on about my life like nothing happened. I'd seen too much and been through too much. And the whole pureblood thing was nonsense to me. Voldemort himself was not even a pureblood, yet he somehow convinced everyone that purebloods were better than everyone else? That made no sense to me. And he was taken out by a half blood and a Muggleborn, so who is really better in the long run?"

"Yes, the Muggleborn of which you speak, you're now dating I gather. If the picture in the paper is any indication," Lucius said distastefully.

"The picture doesn't lie. Hermione is my girlfriend now. I can't wait to hear what you think of that."

"Does it matter what I think of that? You seem to have made up your mind against me and everything I taught you. Look at you. You look like a common Muggle yourself. And what is that on your arm? Is that a tattoo?" Lucius asked him.

"You mean the writing? Yeah, it's a tattoo. One that I actually got of my own free will," Draco told him.

"Honestly, what is wrong with you Draco? Rebelling against us just because I didn't say I was sorry? Fine then, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that Voldemort was part of our lives. Happy now? Will you stop this nonsense and come back home where you belong?"

"Yeah, that was a heartfelt apology. Thanks. I feel so much better now," Draco said sarcastically.

"Will you two please stop arguing? Lucius, just be glad Draco is home again. Stop berating him. And Draco, show a little respect. You're behaving appallingly," Narcissa told them.

"Mother, I didn't want to be here. I came for you. I don't know what you were expecting. That I'd just move back home again and forget about the life I've made for myself now? It's not going to happen. I am not coming back here to stay. And I don't care if either of you approve of my life now."

"You don't really mean that. Surely you missed your home?" his mother asked.

"Honestly, no I didn't. I didn't miss this place at all. I never wanted to come back."

"Don't you still love us? At all?" his mother wondered sadly.

He walked over to his mother and put his hands on her shoulders. "Mum, I will always love you. But that doesn't mean I'm going to live here. And frankly, it's up to the two of you as to whether or not you're a part of my life. I will not be told what to do or whom to date or what to wear. I won't be a good little boy and follow the rules of this family. I'm my own person. And if you can accept that, then fine. You can be a part of my life. But if you're just going to get on my case for everything, then I have better things to do," he explained to them.

"Fine, I accept your choices. Whatever they may be. I just want you back in my life," his mother told him sincerely.

"Father, do you have anything to say to me?" Draco asked curiously.

"What shall I say? That I approve of this Granger girl? Or the clothes you're wearing or the tattoo you got willingly?"

"It'd be a start."

"Are you going to marry this girl?"

"Maybe? Is that a problem?"

Lucius didn't know what to say. He wanted back in his son's life, but he was like a stranger to him now. He didn't know him anymore. He wasn't the same little boy he used to be. And he wasn't really pleased with how rebellious he'd turned out. He'd always fallen in line like a good Malfoy. And now he was defiant and deliberately doing things that would shame the family. And Lucius was just supposed to accept that? He didn't know how.

"I don't know what to say to you, Draco. This isn't how I raised you to be."

"No, it's not. Thankfully I escaped total ruination by your hands and grew a mind of my own. And I'm much better for it. Hermione is the most amazing woman I've ever met. You'd actually like her if you could look past your prejudices. But it doesn't matter. I don't need you anymore. And I stopped striving to be you. I'm me. And oddly enough, I kind of like the person I became. But you've made yourself clear. I'm not welcome here because I'm not what you groomed me to be. I understand. And I won't come here again."

"I never said I didn't wish to see you again. Stop inferring things from what I say. I'm simply at a loss. You are my son, Draco. I love you. And I want the best life for you possible. But you're making that difficult by rebelling against me," Lucius told him.

"I'm rebelling against your archaic ways, that's all. And believe it or not, that's not even why I'm doing the things I'm doing. I'm just living. And it just happens that the way I want to live clashes with how you want me to live. It's not a calculated move on my part to shame you or ridicule you. I'm just living."

"Alright. I give up. I won't have you up and disappearing on us again. If you want my approval, then you have it. I don't want your mother to suffer your absence because I'm too stubborn to accept your changes. And if you must hear it, sincerely this time, I really am sorry for what happened. It's my fault you were pulled into something you weren't equipped to handle. I exposed you to dark things that a child should never witness much less be a part of. Don't you think I hate what happened? I do. I never wanted you to be a part of my dark misdeeds. Perhaps if it had been your choice, that would be one thing. But you were forced into it, where as once upon a time, I went willingly. I didn't know what I was getting into, Draco. I must seem an old fool to you, but when I first joined Voldemort, I was just a boy too. A stupid boy. And when he came back, I felt I had no choice but to continue my allegiance to him. He would have killed me otherwise. As it was, he still threatened to kill us all, no matter what I did. I gave him you, and it wasn't enough. But I didn't do it willingly. I never would put you into harms way on purpose. So forgive me. I can't say anything else except that." Lucius told him sincerely.

Draco was stunned speechless. He never expected his father to actually apologize and mean it. This show of humanity was so unusual for him that Draco didn't know how to react. The only thing he could do was stare at his father until he eventually broke down. He couldn't stop himself. He sat down on the sofa and just held his head in his hands and tried to hide the tears that were flowing from him. His father always said crying wasn't allowed and was a sign of weakness. But Draco was only human and couldn't hold back. Draco's mother couldn't bear to see her son hurting so much and she sat down next to him and put her arm around him.

"Shh, it's okay Draco. You're safe now. Please don't shut us out of your life. We love you," she told him softly.

"I'm sorry, Mum. I didn't mean to make you worry or upset you. I was just so depressed and lost," he admitted. Then he looked at his father. "Father, all I ever wanted to hear from you was that you were sorry. I wanted you to acknowledge that you'd done something wrong."

"Draco, you know it's hard for me to admit such things. I want you to think of me as infallible. I wanted you to look up to me as you once did. I thought putting it all behind us was the best course of action. I didn't know how distressed you were. I didn't see it," Lucius said softly.

"I was a wreck. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. People were saying horrible things about me and you and all of us. I couldn't show my face in public. Plus, I had nightmares. Awful nightmares. I just wanted to die. I wished I had died," Draco admitted through his tears.

"Please don't say that," his mother told him as she smoothed his hair out of his face.

"I felt it. I wanted to die. I did everything I could to self destruct short of slitting my own wrists and just bleeding it all out. But even then I was a coward because I couldn't do it. I sat there one night with a knife at my wrists and I couldn't do it," Draco sobbed, feeling completely out of control for the first time in a long while. He was admitting to things he never even told Hermione and he shared everything with her. But not this. He couldn't bear to admit to Hermione that he had attempted to take his own life and failed at it.

"Oh my God Draco, you had a knife? What were you thinking? My heart can't take this. Please never do such a thing again! I couldn't live with myself!" his mother cried as she held him.

Lucius walked over and put his hand on Draco's head and smoothed his hair. "Son, don't ever try to hurt yourself for the mistakes I made. It's my fault. You did nothing wrong. In the end, you did nothing wrong. You were stronger than me because you defied Voldemort's orders. You were right to want to leave here because I was no role model. I wanted to be, but I wasn't. Just never even think of hurting yourself again. Life is worth living. At least if you don't give up. I'm telling you to not give up," his father assured him.

"I'm better now. I really am. I'm sorry for this heinous spectacle," Draco said wiping his eyes hastily and trying to pull himself together. "You must think I'm so weak, Father. Here I am crying like a little girl. I didn't meant to."

"Nonsense. You are just in pain. Do you think I've never cried in my life?" Lucius asked.

"No, you always told me crying was for girls and sissy's. When I fell off my broom when I was eight and broke my arm, you ordered me to stop crying and said I was making a fool of myself."

"Don't listen to me. What the hell do I know? I was just trying to make you into a man. But let me tell you, I have cried. I'm not inhuman or some sort of robot. I cried when you left here and I did so every time I failed to locate you and bring you home. And I cried when Voldemort made you his golden boy. I just did so in the privacy of my own bathroom where no one would ever see me. I had a reputation to protect. But I'm a liar. I've always been a liar. And I don't blame you for not wanting to become me," Lucius said honestly, even though it pained him to do so.

"Lucius, you cried? I've never seen you cry," Narcissa said with shock.

"As I said, I did so in privacy. Men don't cry. Except that we do. We just don't wish anyone to ever see such nonsense. But we're still human. Even I am, though I realize both of you have probably questioned that humanity in the past. Especially you, Draco."

"Father I spent my whole life trying to be what you wanted me to be. I thought I was less of a person when I couldn't live up to your expectations. I thought you'd hate me for the things I've done or not done. My life right now, you'd never approve. I live amongst Muggles. I pretend to be one. I have a Muggle automobile. And I'm in love with a Muggleborn witch who helped to kill the very man you pledged our allegiance to."

"I don't care. You are my son and I love you. And if you honestly thought of hurting yourself rather than face me again, then I truly have failed as a father and a human being. I know I'm not a righteous man. I've done a lot in my life that is considered horrendous and evil and I don't expect you to forgive that. But I've always put you above everything. Always. You and your mother are my shining achievements in this life. In the end, my family is all that I cared of. You must know that. Despite my actions to brush the bad things under the rug, I did it so we could live on and be happy again. That's all."

"I wanted to be happy again too, I just didn't know how to be. I know you expected great things from me, Father, but I was never much of a fighter. I was more of a jerk off using my words as weapons and not much else. When confronted with danger, I always just ran away. I wasn't a fighter. And I know that must disappoint you," Draco admitted.

"I didn't raise you to be a fighter. Nor did I ever imagine you'd have to be one. I never once for an instant thought you'd have to fight in a war. I just groomed you to be a proper gentlemen. Which I see has had no effect on you at the moment. But that's neither here nor there. I never intended you to walk the path you had to walk. You were braver than I because I was helpless. Voldemort despised me for my mistakes. But he coveted you. He thought you were on his side."

"I still don't understand that. I failed at the task he gave me. I didn't kill Dumbledore, Snape did. Why did he not punish me for that?"

"Because Snape stood up for you. He had a duty to protect you, and he didn't fail. I couldn't protect you, but he could. And he did. And for that, I owe him a debt of gratitude, except that he's no longer with us so I can't do anything."

"I just wanted to live my life. I never wanted to be chosen to carry out such dark deeds. I tried and I failed. My half hearted attempts at killing Dumbledore were a joke. And when I actually faced him, I crumbled. He was weak and ineffectual. I could have done it. But I didn't. If I killed him, then I became Voldemort. That's all I could hear in my head. If you kill me, you become him. Even though no one ever spoke the words, that's what I heard. I'm not a killer," Draco protested.

"Of course you're not," his mother assured him. "I didn't raise you to be a killer."

"But what if I'd done it? Would you two have been proud of me? Or horrified? I still don't know."

"I never wanted you to kill anyone, Draco. But if you had, then we'd deal with that reality. I honestly didn't know where you stood. I didn't know if you truly had allegiance with him or not. I was just trying to keep us all alive," his father told him.

"I was never on his side. I realize that I hated Harry and constantly complained to you about him, but the truth was, I was upset that Harry didn't like me. I wanted to be his friend and he hated me instantly. I wasn't used to that. So my only recourse was to detest him and make his life hell. But the honest truth was, I wanted him to win. I didn't want him to die. I wanted him to bloody annihilate Voldemort. I wanted to be free again and I knew Harry was the only chance we had," Draco admitted.

"To tell you the truth, I wanted him to win as well. I didn't want to be a prisoner anymore. I didn't want to live in fear. I wanted my family safe. And if Potter was the answer, then so be it. I didn't care. As long as Voldemort died, I would be happy. I knew I couldn't do it myself. And though part of me wished it would be you to turn and finish him, I knew you didn't have the wits about yourself to do such a thing. You were too scared. As you should have been. The whole thing was a disaster. The only saving grace is that Potter stood up for us at the hearings. He helped us. He urged them to let us go. And while I'd never admit it to him, I owe him. If not for his help, we'd all be in Azkaban right now."

"Harry still hates me. Even though I'm with his best friend, he detests the sight of me. I can't break through his exterior. He thinks all Malfoy's are scum. He won't even try to know me," Draco told them.

"Well it's his loss. At least this Hermione girl sees the real you. That's something," Narcissa told him soothingly.

"She does see me. She forgives me. She loves me. And if not for her, I might not be sitting here right now. I was a disaster area when she met up with me. I won't go into personal details, but let's just say our first meeting was a huge mistake brought on by lots of drink. She still hated me. But eventually she came around. And now she actually loves me. She gave up a life with a bonafide hero in favor of me. That says something. And she's had to put up with a lot of bullshit just to stand by my side, and yet she still does it. She was scared for me to come home and receive disapproval from you both for our relationship, yet she set that aside knowing that I needed to face you. That's how good she is. She'd risk losing me just so I could be okay again. That's what love is. And I don't care who her parents were. They could be from outer space and I'd still love her. And I'd hope that you two could someday accept our love," Draco informed them.

"Son, you know I wished you to marry a pureblood. I won't lie. It's been ingrained in me since my own birth. But I'm not going to stand in your way. If this girl loves you, then she has good taste. You're a fine man and any girl would be lucky to have you. I won't say a word about her heritage. I promise. I owe you that much, if you're willing to forgive my mistakes and allow me into your life. I know I don't deserve it, but if you let me, I will be here and support you. To hell with my old thinking. Where has that gotten me? It only made me lose my only son. And I won't stand for that," Lucius told him seriously.

"You really mean that? Both of you? You don't care if I'm with a Muggleborn? A mudblood? It doesn't upset you?"

"Draco darling, if you love her, we'll learn to love her. After all, she's still a witch. If you wanted to marry an actual Muggle it might be another story. But let's not go there," Narcissa said patting him on the back.

"So if she was a straight up Muggle, I'd be out on my ass then?" 

"No, of course not. But it would be very awkward and weird. But that's not the case, so let's just not think of it. She's a witch. A talented and brave one. That's all that matters."

"What say you, Father? Do you feel as Mother does?"

Lucius sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I guess so. What good will it do me to disapprove? You'll just disappear again. I can't have that."

"You're right, I would disappear again. Technically you still have no idea where I live and I'm not certain I'm ready to tell you yet," Draco informed them.

"Honestly Draco, what do you think we'll do? Force you to come home? You're twenty years old. We realize we have no say in your life. Not really. Stop trying to hide from us," Narcissa told him with a hard look.

"Fine. I'll tell you where I am. But I'm warning you right now, you won't like it. It's dark and dank and smells bad. And I'm a horrible housekeeper. Mostly I stay at Hermione's. We don't actually live together, but we might as well be. I hardly go home except to get clothing. And even that's getting rarer as most of my clothes now live at her place."

"Well tell us where she lives then," Narcissa said plainly.

"If I do, I do not want any unexpected or uninvited visits. This is still my life. I won't shut you out, but you must respect my privacy. If you abuse this privilege, I will not be nice about it," Draco warned them.

"We promise not to come by unannounced or uninvited. Now just tell us where to find you if we wish to," Narcissa said pleadingly.

Draco reluctantly gave them the location and he hoped it wasn't a huge mistake. He'd lived in secret so long it was weird to tell his parents where he could be found. But he knew he couldn't hide anymore. He didn't want to. He'd gotten much more than he expected from his parents. From his father especially. They actually spoke like two human beings and that had never happened before. If Draco wasn't being bossed around, he was being ignored for the most part. He wasn't prepared for his father to be so open and honest with him. It was weird. And unsettling. But he liked it. He never knew his father to be capable of such human emotion and honesty.

When he finally left, he promised to come back again. Sooner rather than later. And they both wanted to meet Hermione properly. His mother had already met her, but his father never really had. Not formally. And not now that they were seeing each other. Draco had no idea what to expect of such a visit, but he promised he was at least open to the idea. And he promised not to be a stranger. Both his parents hugged him as he left. He felt more at peace with himself than he had in years. It was like a revelation to finally come home again and face what he'd left behind. Perhaps Hermione had been right when she said he needed closure, if nothing else. He couldn't keep things as they were. It wasn't helping him, it was only hurting him. He arrived back at home at Hermione's and just sat on the sofa and contemplated the visit. He felt different now. Somehow stronger and better for it. He wasn't entirely alone in the world, except for Hermione. He still had a family who loved him. And he knew that was more than Hermione could say. She didn't have her family anymore. So he was lucky. He just hadn't known that all this time. He expected scorn and reproach and did not expect love and acceptance. Those were foreign concepts to him. But it had happened that way. They didn't shun him or judge him. They embraced him. And he didn't know what to do with all the misplaced anger he still held. Where could he direct it now? He didn't know. So he just sat there and thought about it and absently petted the cat and wondered where did he go from here?

**Lyrics: Buffy Musical Episode**

_Understand we'll go hand in hand, but we walk alone in fear_

_Where do we go from here? _

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They all belong to JK Rowling. I merely thank her for writing such a compelling series that it sparks my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended. I make no money from this, I just use it to live out my fantasies.**

Draco waited for Hermione to come home so he could tell her about his visit with his parents. He was still in shock over how it had gone. He thought maybe that by leaving his family it had actually been the only way for any of them to ever be honest about their feelings. If he had just stayed and fallen in line like a good boy, his father never would have shown Draco his human side. Nor would he ever have approved of anything Draco had done now. His parents needed to feel his loss or else they'd never wake up and be actual people. They'd always remain caricatures of the consummate pureblood family who did everything properly and never spoke of anything untoward or resembling actual truth. If Draco had never left, they'd never have become close or a real family. They'd always be cardboard cutouts with no real emotions or any sense of consequence for their actions. Draco had obviously been relieved to escape prison along with his family, but in his heart and mind, he felt like they got off too easy. So he made it his own duty to punish himself and them too. But living that way was killing him inside. Holding onto such anger and hate was crippling him at times and he couldn't let go of the past. But maybe now he could start to let go a little and really move forward instead of just standing still. He wasn't sure though, because it was obvious there were a lot of people out there who also believed they'd gotten off too easy. And he didn't really know what he could do about that.

When Hermione arrived, he was pleased to see her.

"Hey there. How was your day?" he asked her.

"It was alright. I'm much more interested in your day. How did it go? Was it awful?" she wondered.

"It was interesting, to say the least. But it was actually okay. My father and I actually spoke to each other like human beings. I didn't even know he was capable of that. But he actually apologized to me. For real. At first he just spouted some lame fake apology with no actual meaning. But then he finally broke down and admitted how wrong he had been. It was the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. I've never seen my father behave like that. He showed actual love and concern and sorrow for my pain. It almost doesn't even feel real," Draco explained.

"Well that's good though. You made up with him. That must feel like a huge weight lifted from your shoulders. To not have to carry the burden of hate anymore must feel freeing."

"It does. I'm just not sure what to do with it yet. I thought I was done with them forever, and now they wish to be a part of my life again. They say they don't even care about the choices I've made, they just don't want to lose me again. It's like I want to believe that, but part of me feels like it can't be real."

"What did they say about us? Were they horrified?"

"Not really. They both expressed their disappointment that I was not marrying a pureblood girl, but they both claimed to be okay with the idea of us together. My father even wants to meet you."

"Meet me? That sounds daunting. Why does he want to meet me?" she asked.

"Because I told them how much you mean to me. They want to know who you are."

"But they probably won't like me. Your mother was pretty chilly when I met her."

"I know. My parents don't inspire warm fuzzy feelings. I get that. But if you could have heard them talking today, you'd see them differently. I know I did. I admitted to them how low I'd really been when I left. Things I never even told you. And they were so upset that they were a huge reason I felt that way," he explained.

"What haven't you told me?" Hermione asked curiously.

"It's nothing. It's just personal garbage. I can't even believe I told them. But I wanted them to see what life had done to me."

"Personal garbage? You could tell me. Did you do something foolish?"

"No. I just thought about doing something foolish and quite dark. It's embarrassing."

"You know I won't judge you. If you can tell them, you can tell me," she pleaded with him.

Draco sighed. "Alright, so one time after I left home, I got very drunk. And I hated myself for everything. So I got a knife and I wanted to kill myself with it. I sat there forever just trying to get the nerve to make the cuts and I chickened out. In the end, not only could I not kill anyone else, I couldn't even off myself properly."

"Oh Draco…why did you never tell me this?" Hermione asked with extreme concern.

"Because I didn't want anyone to know. I mean, I didn't do anything. I just thought about it. I sat there and thought and thought and in the end, I was too cowardly to do it."

"But that's a good thing! Imagine if you'd actually gone through with that? We never would have met again. We wouldn't have this. I had no idea you felt suicidal at one point."

"It's not a big thing. It passed. Mostly. I mean, I never tried again but I did make sure that I lived my life as destructively as possible. I figured if I couldn't outright do myself in, I might as well kill myself slowly," he told her.

"I hope you don't still feel that way. I know that things have been rough and this latest bout with the newspaper article is not exactly helping, but I hope you're not in that mindset anymore," she said as she put her arm around him and held him close to her.

He shook his head. "No, I'm not of that mind anymore. Not since I found you. You're what I live for. No one else will give me a chance even, but you saw a broken man and you picked him up and patched him back together again. Where as the rest of the world just walked past and did nothing."

She kissed him softly. "I would do it again in a heartbeat. After all, you found a broken woman and you took her into your heart too. I was mean to you and I acted dreadfully and used you for my own comfort. And instead of just letting me continue on that way, you wanted to be my friend. I treated you like a piece of meat, and you wouldn't allow it to continue because you knew it wasn't really who I was."

"I know that when we met again you were hell bent on just being bad. And I was a bad thing you did. But somewhere down the line actual feelings developed. You cared about me and I cared about you. We were both sinking like the Titanic, but instead of letting each other drown you scooted over and let me climb aboard that piece of debris, unlike Rose. You didn't let me sink and I kept you alive. We kept each other alive. I don't know where I'd be without you," he said kissing her again and just holding her tight.

"I never knew that two people who couldn't be more wrong for each other on paper would ever find love the way we did. I just wish other people could understand it," she whispered.

"It doesn't matter if no one else understands it. At least not to me. I know it matters more to you though. I know you're upset over your friends reactions," he told her softly.

"I am upset. But it's really unfair. I don't know whether to be angry or sad. I expected Ron to behave badly, but I thought Harry would come to my side. But he's cordial to me. He says he's fine, but I know him too well. He's not fine. And that upsets me more than anything. Ginny is my friend and I love her, but Harry was my best friend. I never really had girlfriends in school. Ginny and I didn't get that close until after I was dating her brother. So I think I feel the loss of Harry's friendship the most. I know you guys hate each other, but he's really a great guy. Or at least, he used to be. I don't know. He's trying at least."

"I don't hate Harry. Contrary to my actions in the past, I actually respect him quite a lot. I only wish he could see me for who I am now, and not who I used to be. But I don't suspect he's as forgiving as you are. Sometimes saying you're sorry isn't good enough to right the wrongs you did against someone. I could say I was a foolish boy and it'd be the truth, but I was really mean to him. To all of you. The only person I don't feel bad about hurting is Ron. And I'm sorry, because I know you care for him, but in my mind he's a total fuckhead. And I won't be apologizing to him any time soon. Especially not when I think he's the one who talked to the press and put us on the front page."

"I don't blame you. Honestly, this side of Ron is something I've never been able to stomach. He's mean sometimes. He hurt my feelings more times than I can count, but for some reason I still loved him. But after awhile, it got tiresome. We were just all wrong for each other. And right now, I don't forgive him either. I'm angry at him. And I don't care if his feelings are hurt because I met you. Me and him were already over. I didn't cheat on him. So he needs to get over himself," Hermione said with anger in her voice.

"That he does. I really wanna pummel him or hex the shit out of him. But I'm a good little boy and won't stoop to such a level. But just so you know, I could take him. I could completely fuck his shit up if I wanted to. But I know you still care what happens to that tosser, so I won't do it. Plus, I don't need it splashed on the front page of the paper that I attacked one of the Ministry's precious Aurors. They'd lock me up in Azkaban so fast, my head would spin," Draco informed her.

"I know you could take him. I mean, he's a good wizard, but he also lacks focus. But I appreciate you not going after him because it won't solve anything. And you're right if you attacked an Auror, you'd be sent to prison. And I don't fancy that happening to you," she said seriously.

"Don't worry, I can control my semi-murderous urges. I just wish the fucking prat would apologize for hurting you. I don't care about me, but he hurt you. And that's not acceptable. He claims to still love you, but he doesn't show it very well."

"Ron is just a bit immature. He likes to think he's not, but he is. He gets mad too easily and holds grudges forever. Where as I feel like maybe given enough time Harry might actually like you. It's possible," she said hopefully.

Draco laughed slightly. "Love, that's probably not gonna happen. But you can think it if you want."

"But he's much more able to forgive people. He has a huge heart. When I first met him he was nice to me right off the bat. No one else would even speak to me. Even Ron told Harry I was annoying and I didn't understand that no one liked me. But Harry didn't say a word. It's hard to explain because I know you don't feel like a woman and a man can be just friends, but Harry was like my brother that I never had. I love him. But it's not the kind of love that's threatening to you, I promise it."

"I know. I'm aware of your feelings for him. I know it's friendship. I have no experience of which to speak of loving someone in friendship, but I get how you feel. You care what he thinks. And I hate that I'm the reason there's a rift. I don't know how to fix it though without letting you go, and I'm not willing to do that."

"No, no way. That's not even an option. Harry will just have to come around. I hope. But if I live the rest of my life with no one else in it but you, it's still a happy life for me. Please know that. I've made my choice. And you're it. That won't ever change," she promised him.

He pulled her to him and kissed her greedily. "You have no idea what that means to me to hear you say that," he whispered to her. "I want to be enough for you. I want to be everything for you. And I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me. I've had a lot of losses in my life these last few years, so I'm not willing to suffer another. Not if I can prevent it. If it's just you and me against the world, then so be it. At least we have each other."

"Yeah, we do. I love you. It's so weird saying that because I'm not used to feeling it, but I love you so much. I'd be lost without you."

"Me too. I feel the same. I love you. And maybe I'm crazy, but if I am, then I don't care."

"We can both be crazy," he told her as he pulled her in for another kiss.

They got lost in each other, as they so often did. Neither one of them wanted to let go of the other. They were all they really had to cling to in this life. Except Draco knew now he had his family too. But he still didn't trust how much they'd accept Hermione in his life. He didn't want to get his hopes up, even though they promised they only wanted his happiness. He was still gun shy. And who could really blame him? His entire life was based on the notion that Malfoy's didn't interact with anyone who wasn't a pureblood and here he was bringing a Mugglborn witch into their fold. He knew his parents were cringing inside, despite their affirmations of approval. He wasn't stupid. But also, if he could change his opinion, then maybe they could too? Perhaps he wasn't being fair to be so skeptical? He didn't know. But if it was only Hermione in his life forever, then he was okay with that. They'd make their own family someday. And perhaps even make new friends who didn't care about the things other people cared of? They had their whole lives ahead of them, and for once to Draco, the future didn't seem as scary as it once did. Maybe he wasn't a lost cause? Maybe he had a real future after all?

A few days went by and Hermione was immune to the gossip at work by now. She didn't care. It wasn't going to change her feelings. But then she ran into Ron on her way to lunch. She tried to ignore him as she usually did, but he stepped in front of her and stopped her from walking.

"We need to talk," he told her seriously.

Hermione sighed loudly. "No, we don't. Now get out of my way."

"Listen, I know you think it was my doing you ending up in the paper, but that's not true," he told her.

"Well then who else talked to the press? No one else even spoke to us that night except you and Harry, and it wasn't Harry."

"Look, all I did was answer some questions. I didn't know it was for a bloody article. Or that they'd put your picture in the paper. Some woman came up to me and asked me how I felt about my ex being with Malfoy and I told the truth. That's it. I didn't do anything wrong."

"Well you started a shit storm. So I hope you're happy. Now everyone looks at me like I've gone mad. And I did not jilt you for Draco! We were already broken up."

"I know. I never said you jilted me. That was made up. They twisted my words! I feel stupid about it because I didn't know she was a bloody reporter. And now Harry tells me you're super pissed off at me. But I swear, it wasn't my fault!" Ron pleaded with her.

"You should have just kept your big mouth shut. If you didn't know she was a reporter, what on earth possessed you to tell a total stranger your feelings about me and Draco? Why would you do that?" she demanded.

"I was drunk, okay? I had a little bit too much and suddenly some woman is asking me questions. I just fucking told her the truth. And just so you know, Sarah dumped me over this. She thinks I still want you."

"Really? How stupid of her, considering you yourself told me that you still wanted me. Where does that silly girl get her ideas from?" Hermione said sarcastically.

"I told you, I was drunk. I don't want you back. I'm over it."

"Really? Well good, you should be."

"Okay, so that's sort of a lie. I mean, if you wanted me back I wouldn't say no. But I understand your feelings," he explained.

"You do? So you understand that I love someone else and you're okay with that?"

"How am I supposed to be okay with that when it's bleeding Malfoy you're with? But I accept it. I didn't try to mess things up for you. I may be an idiot sometimes, but I wasn't trying to embarrass you."

"Fine. You were drunk and talked to the wrong person. I get it. But it doesn't change anything. I'm still angry with you. Not just for the bloody article, but how you marched into my flat and tried to punch Draco. That was appalling. You call him a jerk off, but you're the one hurling punches and talking to reporters," she said heatedly.

"God, I said I was sorry! I know you're done with me and I accept that. But I don't want you to hate me. I'm just a bit of a fucked up mess right now. I mean, you dump me and then you hook up with my worst enemy. And then Sarah fucking dumps me because she thinks I'm hung up on you. Everyone is mad at me! Even Harry!"

"Well forgive me for not feeling sorry for you. You caused this mess. I didn't. But I don't know why Harry is mad at you."

"Because. He thinks I talked to the reporter on purpose. He thinks I was trying to hurt you. But I wasn't. Everything is so screwed up. I just wanted you to like me again. I don't want to be enemies."

"I'm not your enemy. And neither is Draco! He stopped being your enemy a long time ago. So I suggest you wake up and realize that before you have no friends left. You're acting like a git."

"Right, I'm the git. I was just stupid, that's all. I really thought you'd come around again and we'd get back together. But now I see that was wrong of me," he admitted.

"Yes, it was wrong. Honestly, you can be the most amazing person I've known, but you can also be the biggest prat in the world. I don't get you and I never will. That's why it's over between us. And that's why we'll never be together again. You had a sweet girl in Sarah and you blew it," Hermione informed him.

"I blew it? You think I don't know she came on to Draco and suggested if he was done with you that he come give her a go? She fucking told me she said that. It's like I can't win. Draco is a love god and I'm chopped liver. In fact, I think chopped liver gets a better rap than I do and everyone hates that shit except for cats who will eat garbage."

"Ron, stop. It's not my fault your girlfriend was a skanky ho. You obviously didn't make her feel special enough when you were coming on to me at the very same dance! What did you expect?" Hermione asked him.

"I was drunk!"

"So? You think that makes it all okay?"

"It should. I mean, I didn't know what I was doing. And now I'm fucking dateless and desperate again. Fuck my life," Ron complained unhappily.

"I'm sorry you got dumped, but that's not my fault. And the part of me that still cares for you feels badly. I really do. But you made this bed and now you have to lie in it. You hurt Sarah, you hurt me, and now you have to live with it. And if you don't mind, I want to eat my sodding lunch now, so I'm leaving," she told him as she pushed past him and walked towards the cafeteria.

"Bloody women. Why do I even try? They all suck. The whole lot of them. I should just fucking give up," Ron muttered as he walked away and hung his head down in shame. He knew he fucked up big time but no one cared to hear his apologies. He just wanted to crawl into a cave and stay there. It would be safer than letting him out in public where his foot lived inside his mouth and fucked everything up for him. He wanted to be mad at someone else, but he knew that everything was his own fault. And that was a hard pill to swallow.

Harry ran into Hermione in the lunch room and he could tell by her face that she was extremely brassed off. He was concerned and he decided to go up to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked cautiously.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. I just had words with Ron. Sometimes I just want to throttle him," she told him with fierceness in her eyes.

"Yikes, is this about the stupid article?"

"Mostly. I don't know. He claims he had no idea he was talking to a reporter. I don't know if I believe him."

"I don't know either. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's my best mate. But that was low even for him. He had to know the trouble it would cause you," Harry admitted.

"He says he was drunk and not thinking. I don't know. I do believe he was drunk, but that doesn't make it okay to spread my love life on the pages of a newspaper. I thought he had more sense than that."

"I know," Harry sighed. "I've already had words with him myself. And he can't blame Rita Skeeter pretending to be a beetle overhearing stuff, because he actually spoke to someone. I just think he's in a bad state. I'm trying to cut him some slack," Harry told her.

"I've cut him enough slack. People are looking at me funny now and I hear the gossip. And it's idiotic because no one even knows Draco or what he did or didn't do. Just because he has a Dark Mark doesn't make him irredeemable!"

"I know. I realize I've not been ultra supportive, but I've heard the talk. It's ludicrous and unfair. And I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You had nothing to do with it. I just wish people were more open minded. Including you. I wish you'd stop walking on eggshells around me and just talk to me like I'm your best friend and not just some acquaintance you barely know," she said sourly.

"Hermione, don't be like that. I'm trying my best. It's just weird! You have to admit it's weird."

"What's so weird about it? He's a man and I'm a woman, and things happen. He's clearly changed and you can't deny that. If you'd only give him a chance, you'd see," she said insistently.

"I know. I'm not giving him a fair shake. But I'm trying to. I just can't help but feel like this is a big joke he's orchestrated to inflict pain on all of us. You especially," he told her.

"Do you think I'm that daft? That I can't tell if I'm being tricked? I'm not a fool. Draco and I have shared some incredibly important moments together. He's open and honest with me. He's not faking it just for a joke."

"What if he hurts you? Then what? I don't know how to believe he won't hurt you. That's my only concern."

"You have to trust me. Even if you don't trust him, trust me. I know what I'm doing."

"Alright. I trust you. I believe you when you say he's changed. But is he really sorry for all the things he did before? All the name calling and getting us in trouble? Does he even feel bad about that?" Harry wondered.

"Of course he does. You have no idea how low he was before I came along. He'd hate me for telling you, but it was really bad. Like he hated himself severely. He didn't even want to go on living. That's how badly he felt for everything he did. And you, yourself, saw him at some of his lowest moments back in school. You saw his struggle up close. You knew he wasn't dealing okay or on board with the things he had to do. I expected you to be more forgiving," Hermione told him.

"Look, I know he wasn't evil. Much as I thought he was, he wasn't. But he was still a complete asshole for most of our school lives. It's hard for me to see him as a friend." 

"But he wishes you would. Maybe not a friend, but not an enemy at least. For my sake, I wish you could."

"I'm trying. Hermione, I've done my best to be nice to him. I really have. And I know you love him, so there must be a good reason for that. I trust you above just about anyone, so I don't think you're crazy. I'm just a little unnerved by it all. I don't want anyone getting burned. The last time I felt bad for Malfoy and wanted to help him, he tried to crucio me in a bathroom. So forgive me if I have trust issues with him," Harry explained.

"But he'd never do that now. And as I recall you completely destroyed him in that bathroom with that stupid spell of yours. He could have died."

"I know. I felt like shit. I didn't mean to hurt him that way. I was horrified at myself. I was a moron for doing spells I didn't know what they were. You know I felt bad about that."

"I know. But you still did it. So it was a major fuck up for you as a boy. Draco fucked up too. But that's the past. Now is the future."

"You're right. Listen, Ginny has been bugging me to have you to dinner. It seems she's taken a strange liking to Draco, which I can't explain, except she feels sorry for him. And she wants us to make nice. So what do you say? You want to come over for dinner? Or we could go out? Ginny would probably like that better so she doesn't have to cook anything. It'll just be us. The four of us. Let me see Draco in a normal setting and see how it goes. I don't want to lose your friendship or cock things up like Ron has," he said sincerely.

"You mean that? You really want to have dinner with me and Draco?"

"Yes. And I promise to be nice. And it won't be fake nice. It'll be real. I'll give him a chance for you. But if he says or does anything, I won't be responsible for the outcome."

"He's not going to do or say anything wrong. He wants you to like him," she admitted.

"Well then this is his chance. Tomorrow night?"

"Okay. Just get back to me with details. I'll let Draco know."

"Good. It's gonna be great. I promise. I'll be on my best behavior."

Hermione hoped he was telling the truth. She had to take him on simple faith. She'd already written Ron off and she'd like not to have to write off Harry too. For so many years, they were her lifeline. But times had changed. She could make a go without them. But if Harry was willing to actually try, she'd be grateful for it. She just hoped Draco was up for a night on the town with Harry and Ginny. It could be the most awkward double date in history. Or it could be the start of something new and wonderful. She had no idea what to expect. She just crossed her fingers and hoped for the best.

Draco had agreed to the dinner, but he was a bit reluctant as they were getting ready to meet Harry and Ginny.

"Are you sure Potter wanted to have dinner with me? He actually understood I'd be in attendance, right?" Draco asked curiously.

"Of course he knows that, silly. It was his idea. He's trying really hard. I know this might be disastrous, but maybe it won't be?"

"Yeah, maybe. Are we supposed to dress up or what?"

"No, we're going to a casual place. Burgers and chips and the like. And also beer. You like that don't you?"

"Yeah, not as well as whiskey, but I can drink enough of it to numb the awkwardness if I try real hard," he said.

"You don't need to be hammered to be in Harry's company. He promised he'd be nice. And Ginny already likes you, so you have that working for you," she informed him.

"Why does Ginny like me anyway? I mean, I pretty much insulted her entire bloodline and hated anything Weasley related. Why is she suddenly on my side of this?"

"I don't know. I think she just wants to give you a chance. She's soft hearted, even if she comes across as being very hard and slightly bossy. She has a soft spot for the underdog. Plus, she likes me and wants someone to be in my corner. Don't question it too much. Just be thankful for it."

"Alright. I think she's just blinded by my amazing good looks," Draco teased her.

"Oh shut up. She is not. Don't think you have the power to turn all women to mush just with a look," she admonished him playfully.

"Well it worked on Weasel's girlfriend. Past tense. She was pretty interested in me and I didn't do anything except dance with her."

"Yeah, and stare at her boobs. Some girls might take that as a sign of interest."

"Please. Just because I looked at her boobs only means my eyes were open. All men like boobs."

"I don't see you staring at mine all the time," she pointed out.

"I look at them. Mostly when they're naked and in my face. But I look."

"I realize I don't have a set that inspires awe like an amazing sunset, but it wouldn't hurt to ogle them now again when they're not dangling in front of your mouth."

Draco laughed. "I'm sorry. I promise I'll stare at your tits more if it makes you happy."

"Men. You all suck. What's so amazing about a boob anyway?" she scoffed.

"They're awesome. What's not amazing about them? But believe me, just because I looked at someone else's doesn't mean I love yours less."

"Whatever. Just don't look at Ginny's boobs tonight and we'll be okay."

"I'm not looking at hers. That's crazy. I'm trying to get Potter to not hate me and the last thing I'm gonna do is high five him and say 'your girlfriend has awesome tits!'. I'm not a fucking moron."

"My God, why are we talking about this? I started this conversation didn't I? What's wrong with me?" she sighed, shaking her head.

"Just relax. I'll be nice and you swear Potter will be nice. It'll work out. I pray, at least. I'm attempting to think positively."

"Are you ready to go?" she wondered.

"Yeah, I just need to get my shoes on."

He finished up and they apparated to the restaurant Harry had chosen. It was a pub like atmosphere and very laid back. Families ate there and so did a lot of couples. It wasn't too noisy or overcrowded, it was just right. It was the perfect place to meet with friends for a nice meal and some drinks. Ginny and Harry were already there when they arrived so they just walked over to their table.

"Hey, you guys made it. Sit down," Ginny said, greeting them warmly.

Hermione and Draco sat down across from them. "Thanks for inviting us to dinner," Hermione smiled at both of them.

"It's not a problem. We've both been looking forward to it, "Harry said in his most polite voice.

"I know I'm not exactly Mr. Popular so I'm surprised you'd even be seen with me in public," Draco told them.

"The people who are upset by that article are just idiots. I'm not afraid to be seen with you. The war is long since over and you were innocent. I think that makes you redeemable," Ginny told him.

"Well thanks. Honestly I expected you to hate me. I was never nice to your family. What gives? I feel like I'm being pranked or something," Draco told Ginny, feeling unsure about her friendliness towards him.

"You were a jerk. I won't pretend you weren't. And my parents really hate your parents. But I'm my own person. And you haven't wronged me yet, so I can forgive past misdeeds. But I wouldn't go crossing me now because I can turn on people quite quickly," Ginny warned him with a smirk.

"I'll be sure to behave then. Something tells me I don't want to be on your bad side."

"Ginny is quite a fierce fighter, so I would heed the warning," Harry told him.

"Message received."

"So what's good to eat here?" Hermione interjected, trying to keep the conversation light.

"Um, everything's good," Harry told her.

"What about drinks? Do they have a full bar or just beer and wine?" Draco wondered.

"No they have a bar," Harry told him.

"Good. I was under the impression I'd have to drink beer and that doesn't quite pack the punch I'm after. What's everyone's poison, huh? The drinks are on me," Draco told everyone, trying to win some points in his favor.

"You don't have to buy us drinks," Harry insisted.

"Well I want to. So everyone order up. I bet I could drink you lot under the table."

"So you need to be hammered to survive an evening with us, I take it?" Harry asked curiously.

"I'm a bit nervous to be honest, yes. I mean, I know we're all trying to make nice here and I'm afraid I'm gonna screw it up if you must know," Draco admitted.

"You won't screw it up," Hermione assured him.

"Yeah, but I might. And I know this dinner means a lot to you."

"I think we can all get along just fine if we try. I'm willing to overlook the past, just like Ginny is. We can start fresh," Harry offered, trying his best.

"Start fresh, eh? Alright."

The mood was awkward and they all felt it, but once the drinks started arriving it got a little better. Harry was just trying to see Draco as Hermione's boyfriend and not the same kid he used to detest. He was trying with all his might to treat him as he would a total stranger that he was just meeting for the first time, with no preconceived notions. But it was difficult to say the least. He couldn't help remembering some of Draco's most heinous misdeeds. Finally Draco spoke up and ended the uncomfortable silence that settled over the table.

"So, how long have you two been going out together?" Draco asked Harry and Ginny.

"Um, a couple of years. We had a little hiatus when I had to leave to hunt down horcruxes, but we didn't actually break up. It was just complicated during that time," Harry explained.

"Yeah? And you waited for him even though you never knew if he'd come back?" he asked Ginny.

"Of course I waited for him. I had faith. I knew he'd come back. I just didn't know if he'd live when he did. But I always thought positively," Ginny told him seriously.

"That must have been rough. You know, I never thanked you Harry. I really ought to have, but my mind was elsewhere," Draco told him with a serious look on his face.

"Thank me for what? Killing Voldemort?"

"Well that too, but I meant the other thing. You saving my ass in the room of requirement. I never understood why you didn't just let me burn. I probably would have if I'd been you."

"Oh that. Well, I wasn't going to let you die. I couldn't. I mean, you didn't start that fire. Plus, you did me a favor by not naming me at your house when we all knew you knew it was me."

"Yeah, I did know it was you. Barely. But obviously it was seeing as how you showed up with Hermione and the Weasel. Who else would you be? But I wasn't gonna give you up."

"Why not?"

"Because, it was wrong. And then you'd be dead and I'd be stuck in that house forever with Voldemort. No thank you. I wanted you to get away."

"Really?"

"I know we hated each other, but you were like my best hope. If not for you, Voldemort would still be here. I wanted you to kick his sorry ass. He was demented. I don't understand why my father pledged allegiance with him. I never would have. Not willingly. All I wanted to do was just live my sodding life. I didn't want to be a part of anything evil or good for that matter. I just wanted to be left alone to live my life," Draco explained.

"Well I'm sorry that the war mucked up your plans for your life. It kind of ruined my plans too. I just wanted a nice quiet life and yet I was hunted down like an animal for years. It was really inconvenient," Harry said somewhat sarcastically.

"Look, I'm not trying to sound like it was an inconvenience. I just meant that I wanted to be a regular kid. I didn't want to be a Death Eater. I wasn't much of a fighter really. The worst fight I ever got myself into before that was when Hermione punched my lights out. And then I just ran away like a girl. I couldn't even fight back. Or rather, I wouldn't. I'd never hit a girl. Even if she hit me first. It's not right," Draco explained.

"Did you want to hit me?" Hermione asked curiously.

"No. I didn't. I just wanted to get the fuck away from you," Draco laughed slightly. "You were scary."

"You lived with Voldemort, and you think _I'm _scary? That's kind of hilarious."

"At least him, I wanted dead. With you, I didn't want that. I'd never of fought you."

"Too scared?"

"No, I liked you too well. Plus like I said, I'd never hurt a girl. Not unless you're talking about my aunt, then I would have hurt her. If I could have. But unfortunately she was so batty that I know she would have killed me in an instant if I even looked at her wrong."

"Yeah, she was batty alright. How come your mum was relatively normal in comparison?" Harry wondered.

"My mum? Because she wasn't in Azkaban for years. That place will really do you in. Besides, my mum wasn't a Death Eater. I told Hermione this. She had no Dark Mark. She was simply loyal to my father."

"Yeah, I actually knew that. It was brought up at the trial. I just wondered how come she wasn't one of Voldemort's cronies like her sister was, that's all."

"Because my mum never cared about that shit. Kind of like me. We just wanted to go about our lives. It was my father who pulled us in unwillingly. If we had a choice, we would never have been party to that," Draco explained.

"Then why didn't you two run?" Ginny wondered curiously.

"Run? Where would we have run to? And you mean just leave my father behind? Are you crazy? We would never have done that. At least my mum never would have. She would rather die herself than leave my father to die alone."

"Your parents actually love one another then? Theirs wasn't just some preordained coupling their families dreamt up?" Ginny asked.

"I never asked them how they met. I don't know. I just know they love each other properly. Who knows if it was arranged or not? Doesn't matter where you start, it matters where you end up. Kind of like me and Hermione," he said smiling over at her.

"Yes, I'd say that's all that really matters. Where you end up," she smiled back.

"Did your parents pick someone for you to marry, Draco?" Ginny asked.

"Me? Not that I'm aware of. I left before they could talk of such things," he told her.

"But he has been in contact with his parents lately. For the first time in years. It actually went very well. They don't even hate him for being with me," Hermione piped up.

"How generous of them not to disown you for dating a mudblood," Harry said somewhat snidely.

"Hey now, I don't use that word anymore. I haven't in years," Draco said defensively.

"But I bet your parents still do. Would they honestly welcome Hermione to your family? I find that hard to believe," Harry told him.

"They gave me their blessing. Who am I to question it too much? Besides, it doesn't matter to me one way or another. I don't need their approval."

"Draco has been on his own for quite some time now. He's not really a slave to his parents wishes like he once was," Hermione defended him.

"But I'd think you'd still like their approval. You seem to still care for them," Harry pointed out.

"Let's just say we had a bit of a family bonding session recently. I do still care for them. But I also made it quite clear to them that I will live my own life without their interference. I'm not daddy's little boy anymore. I've grown up, Potter."

"Yeah, I guess you have. We all have."

"Yeah, and I don't see a reason why we can't all just get along now. Fuck the past. It sucked. At least now there's no one trying to control us or kill us. We're all free to just live and be happy and do whatever the hell we want without fear. Surely I'm not the only one who feels that freedom? You lot were just as affected by Voldemort as I was. More so, since he wasn't actively trying to kill me. He was just trying to make me into a monster like him."

"You could have never been like him. I mean, there was a time I thought you could be and that you were. I thought you were truly evil. But then I realized you weren't. You were a puppet. And in some ways, that's even worse than what I was. I was the sacrificial lamb, yet everyone expected me to be the hero," Harry told him, starting to feel the effects of the drink he'd had. It was making him talk more openly than normal.

"You _were_ a sacrificial lamb, Harry. Dumbledore knew it. Yet you revered that old codger. Now I couldn't kill him, but I still thought he was an asshat. He wasn't as great as you made him out to be," Draco informed him.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I just mean that he knew all along you were to die and he never fucking told you. And then he plotted his own death and left you holding the bag for everything when you had not one clue what the hell you were even looking for. I read the stories. I know how it went down. He gave you a mission but didn't give you any actual help at all. That was fucked up. Voldemort was pure evil but at least when I was given a mission I knew what the hell to do. You were flying blind."

"Dumbledore was a great wizard. It's not his fault he died before telling me more of what I needed to know," Harry said defensively.

"Oh bollocks. I was on that fucking tower that night. I couldn't kill him, but he begged Snape to do it. And as I read, it had all been set forth long ago. It was the plan all along. I wasn't to kill him, Snape was. And it wasn't to protect me like my mum thought, it was because Dumbledore wished to die. And then he didn't even leave you with any instruction. He just gave you lot some useless pieces of shit like a fairytale book and expected that to mean something to you. He didn't care what happened to you, Harry. He just wanted Voldemort dead."

"You don't know anything, Malfoy. You weren't there. I don't even know how you know as much as you do," Harry told him angrily.

"Did you not read the articles after the war? You gave the fucking interviews yourself. You said all this shit publicly. How hard it was, how you had no guidance. I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know."

"Well I still think Dumbledore is amazing. So stuff it. I don't want to hear bad things about him," Harry said taking a gulp of his drink and signaling the waitress for another.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist. I was just being honest. I'm just saying how it looked from where I was sitting," Draco informed him.

"Yeah, well you didn't know him like I did. He may have left me clueless and he may have known I'd have to die, but what use was it to tell me? I had to figure it out on my own. It didn't change anything."

"Suit yourself. Go ahead and name your firstborn after him for all I care. I just don't respect the man, that's all. Asking someone to kill you and take the blame for it so they look like a bad guy is a pretty fucked up thing to do."

"Snape had his reasons for going along with it. He was trying to look loyal to Voldemort. It was all a plan and he did it willingly."

"Yeah, he did. Which was stupid of him, in my opinion. I wouldn't have taken the blame for that shit. Do you know how hated he was for killing precious Dumbledore? Not by the Death Eaters, of course. But the rest of the students. You weren't there, you didn't see it. He was headmaster and almost no one respected him. And he deserved better."

"Where is all this Snape love coming from? Did you have a crush on him?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh please. Don't be disgusting. You yourself said he was a good man after all was said and done. And I dunno. He was my favorite professor. He always liked me," Draco shrugged.

"Yeah, well he hated me. And even though I know I said he was good, and I meant it, he was still dreadful as a teacher to me. And it was because he hated my father. He was jealous of my father. And he took it out on me."

"Yeah, Hermione mentioned to me Snape was in love with your mum. That's so weird."

"It is a bit creepy. Especially since his dying words were 'you have your mother's eyes'. I didn't know what to think of that at the time. I never even knew they knew each other," Harry admitted.

"Well at least his dying words were kind. He could have just told you to fuck off."

Harry laughed slightly. "Now that I would have expected from him. God he hated me, yet he actually protected me. I still don't get it."

"Some people are too complex to actually understand. Myself being one of them. I know you think you know me and what I'm about, and you dislike me immensely for it. But you really don't know me at all," Draco said gulping down his drink and setting it back on the table.

"So I've been told. Tell me then, who are you?" Harry wondered feeling slightly drunk.

"Hermione knows me. Right love?" he asked giving her a smile.

She put her hand on his arm. "Yes, I do know him. And he's not a bad person. He's quite good actually. He just never had a chance to be that way before. His whole life he was told to be a certain way and he just fell in line. But he's a grown man now and the only person he answers to is himself."

"You don't know what it was like to grow up in a family that preached hatred. I was a product of my environment," Draco informed Harry.

"Yeah? Do you know how I grew up? I grew up believing I was unloved and unwanted. I didn't even have a proper bedroom to sleep in. I slept under the sodding stairs with spiders and shit. I never once was hugged or told I was loved. I was only beat up and scorned and made to believe I was somehow deranged and horrid. But I turned out okay," Harry explained feeling the sting of bitter memories.

"I thought you were brought up by your aunt? Didn't she love you?"

Harry laughed bitterly. "Oh yeah, she loved me about as much as your aunt Bellatrix loved you. Perhaps a little less, actually. She despised me. And my uncle was worse. And my cousin? Let's just say I knew what it felt like to be someone's punching bag from a very early age. I didn't know a thing about my real parents except to be told they died in a car accident and that's why I had this scar on my head, because I survived it. It wasn't until Hagrid came to fetch me that I learned the truth. And I had to go back to those idiotic Muggles every summer until I was seventeen. You think you felt trapped in your house with Voldemort? I dare you to spend one hour with my aunt and uncle and cousin and not kill every single one of them."

"Shit. I had no idea. I'm sorry, Potter."

"You're sorry? Right. Sure."

"I am! I didn't know how your life was. It's not like you told me," Draco said defensively.

"But as if you care."

"I do care! I mean, sort of. No one should live like that. I would have thought you to be more bitter and angry and less heroic and noble."

"Yeah, well I didn't let them ruin me. Unlike you, who let your parents shape you into something ugly."

"Well forgive me for doing as I was told. If you had a father like mine, do you think you'd openly defy him as a child? I was terrified of the man. You don't go against Lucius Malfoy. Not even if you're his bloody son."

"Boys, no fighting. This is supposed to be a peaceful meal," Ginny interjected.

"We're not fighting, Gin. We're discussing. That's it," Harry told her.

"Let's talk about something else shall we? Like anything else at all," Hermione pleaded with them.

"How about another drink? I like that conversation," Draco said holding up his glass and signaling the waitress.

"We haven't even eaten yet. You'll be hammered soon enough," Hermione told him.

"I don't care."

"Yeah, neither do I," said Harry who held up his own glass for refill.

"So Ginny, we should go shopping someday soon, don't you think?" Hermione asked her, trying to change the subject and make things light again.

"Uh, yeah. We should. Did you see the new issue of Vogue? I realize it's a Muggle rag, but the clothes are to die for. I picked up a copy last time I was in the city," Ginny told her.

"I haven't seen it. It's good though?"

"Oh yeah. There's this whole spread about sexy lingerie. Well, I liked it and Harry couldn't seem to keep his mouth from hanging open when he saw it. I choose to believe he was envisioning me in it and not the model," she said giving Harry a look.

"What? Oh, the lingerie thing. Yeah, I liked it. It was very titillating," Harry said trying to catch up to the conversation.

"I don't know any man who would object to lingerie. Maybe you two _should_ go shopping? Hermione could surprise me," Draco said with a smirk.

"Oh yuck. Please do not infer sexual things while in my presence," Harry complained.

"Why not? You still think Hermione is a virgin?" Draco asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Draco!" Hermione scolded him.

"What? He's acting all weird about it."

"It's just I don't want to think of her dressing in lingerie for you. It's disgusting," Harry explained.

"Disgusting? The thought of me in lingerie is disgusting?" Hermione asked feeling upset.

"What? Huh? I don't know! You're Hermione! Am I supposed to think of you in lingerie?" Harry asked dumbfounded.

"No!" Hermione and Ginny both said in unison.

"Well then what's the problem?"

"It's just, _disgusting_? You think I'd be disgusting?" Hermione asked him.

"You're twisting my words. My god, why the hell are we talking about this? And where is my sodding drink?" Harry asked, looking around as he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.

""Okay, so that was a bad subject too," Ginny said shaking her head.

"Let's talk about something neutral like Christmas. It's coming up soon. Aren't we all excited for that?" Hermione asked desperately.

"It's not for awhile actually," Draco informed her.

"So what? What do you want for Christmas, Draco?"

"Um, I don't think I should say that in front of Potter since he's so weird about things. I'm sure you could take a guess," Draco said with a smirk.

She smacked his arm and gave him a glare. "My god, is nothing sacred? Isn't Christmas about Jesus or something?"

"Love, we're witches. We don't celebrate Jesus. We just eat too much and give each other extravagant presents," Draco informed her.

"Well it's still supposed to be special and not a time to ask for sexual favors," Hermione scoffed.

Ginny started laughing and couldn't stop. Harry kept glaring at her but she couldn't help herself. "That's not what Harry thought last year," she told them.

"Ginny! Oh my God. Shut up!" Harry pleaded with her.

"Oh no, this is so wrong. I don't even want to know what Harry got last year," Hermione said holding her head in her hands.

"Speak for yourself, love. I'm curious as hell. What did you do to him? Something kinky?"

"No one is going to talk about this! I forbid it! So everyone shut up!" Harry insisted vehemently.

"Fine. Party pooper. It was a good gift," Ginny shrugged.

"Now is not the time to share things like that with other people," Harry informed her.

"But why not? At least Ron isn't here. He'd freak out. But Draco and Hermione don't care. I'm not their sister." 

"But still, it's fucking private. So just stop it."

"Alright. But I was just trying to make the conversation interesting and not depressing," Ginny informed him.

"Well don't. There has to be something else we can talk of."

Everyone sat there quietly and couldn't think of a single thing to say. It seemed that the only things that went through their minds were either inappropriate or depressing. It was a strange dynamic. One they were trying really hard to rectify. Once the food finally came that at least occupied them so it was less stressful.

"This burger is fantastic," Hermione remarked, just to have something to say.

"Yeah, it's really good. But I don't like this weird lettuce they have on it. It's all squishy," Draco said peeling the offending item off his own burger.

"It's butter lettuce. It's fancy," Ginny told him.

"I don't like squishy lettuce. It should be crisp."

"I would think you were used to fancy type foods," Ginny remarked.

"We never ate hamburgers at my house. I don't think my parents have ever even seen a hamburger."

"But they've seen lettuce right?"

"Yes of course, but we always had the crunchy stuff."

"You're a picky eater," Hermione laughed at him.

"No I'm not. I like just about everything. Except pickles. You want this pickle?" he offered it to her off his plate.

She grabbed it and took a big bite. "I love pickles. I could eat a whole jar."

"A whole jar? You're not pregnant are you?" Ginny asked with a sly grin.

"Oh shut up. I'm definitely not pregnant! I just like pickles."

"Thank God you're not pregnant," Harry muttered in between bites of his food.

"Would that be such a horrid thing?" Draco asked him pointedly.

"Yeah. It would be awful."

"Why?" 

"I don't want to think of Hermione carrying your spawn. It's disturbing," Harry admitted.

"Spawn?" Hermione and Draco both said in unison.

"You act as if she'd be carrying a demon child. I'm not fucking evil!" Draco informed him heatedly.

"I know. I'm sorry. Poor choice of words. I didn't mean to say spawn, it just slipped out."

"Well control your tongue better, Harry. Besides, I'm glad I'm not pregnant too. I'm totally not ready for that," Hermione informed them all.

"Me neither," said Ginny. "I want enjoy being young awhile longer without any babies around."

"Yeah, we're waiting a few years," Harry told them all.

"Really? I rather thought you wanted kids soon," Hermione said.

"No, we talked about it, but we're both just enjoying life right now. Someday though," Harry told her.

"What about marriage? You two gonna tie the knot?" Draco wondered.

"Yeah, someday. There's no rush," Harry told them.

"We're just playing it cool, but I would like to get married. But Harry is a bit less intrigued with the idea," Ginny sighed.

"It's not that I don't want to, Gin. I do. I just want us to be ready. We're still really young. We've got plenty of time."

"I know. But a girl wouldn't mind having a ring on her finger during that time."

"I personally think you should go for it. Why not? It's not as if being married is much different than living together," Draco said with a shrug.

"Will you two get married? Ginny asked the two of them.

"Us? I don't know," Draco told her.

"Yeah, we haven't really discussed that all that much," Hermione told them.

"I still think your parents will flip their lids if you marry Hermione," Harry informed Draco.

"I don't honestly know what they'd do. They promised me they didn't care, but who knows if they were just placating me so I wouldn't run away?"

"Well it wouldn't matter if they flipped their lids or not anyway. Draco doesn't care what they think," Hermione said assuredly.

"That's right, I don't. We can always just run off and elope. I mean, you don't have any family anymore, and if mine refuses to back us up, we'll just take off and do it anyway."

"Would you really just run off? What about us? Don't we get to be there?" Ginny wondered.

"I don't know. I'm not sure Harry would want to be there," Draco said quietly.

"Of course I would. Don't be stupid. I know I'm not exactly jumping for joy over this union but I'd want to be there," Harry informed him.

"You would?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Yes. You're one of my best friends. I'd have to see you get married. It's in the friend rule book."

"The friend rule book? I don't know of such a thing."

"Well it should exist. I mean, you can't do something that important without me there."

"But you don't even approve of our seeing each other. Why would you want to be at our wedding?"

"Because. I love you. And I'll support your choices. That's what I'm bloody well trying to do tonight. It's difficult! But I'm really trying."

"Well don't hurt yourself over it," Draco piped up.

"Look Draco, you're not who I would choose to date Hermione. You're just not. But I respect her decision. And the truth is, I don't even know you. I mean, I feel like I do, but I don't. She does. So I trust her. You're just bloody hard to get along with. You're annoying," Harry told him making a face.

"I'm annoying? You're fucking annoying as shit. Calling my potential children 'spawn'? Get over yourself. I wouldn't say that shit to you," Draco told him.

"I said I was sorry. I didn't mean it. It's just I thought Ron and Hermione would be end game. I have that stuck in my head. And you? I thought you were gone forever. You just disappeared and I wasn't exactly missing you. And then one day suddenly you're right there in my face with my best friend and I don't know what to do. Or how to handle it. I'm doing my best."

"What is so fucking wrong with me that it's so hard? I'm just a person. I realize we have a sordid history, but come on. It's over. It's the past. Can't you see I'm changed?"

"I do. I see it. Okay? I can tell you're different. And it's unsettling and awkward. I mean, we were never supposed to be friends."

"No? Well someone up there must wish it to be so or else we wouldn't be shoved into each other's lives like this. So just deal with it. Besides, we're talking about crazy things like you not being invited to our wedding, when I've not even asked her and she doesn't even want to meet my parents. It's all a moot point anyway. I doubt we're getting married," Draco said shaking his head.

"You don't think we will?" Hermione asked him curiously.

"I don't know love. You refuse to even meet my parents. And I'm only twenty. I have no idea what the future holds. I don't even know if you're gonna stay with me long enough for me to ask you that question. I worry every day that everyone else's opinions are going to push you away from me. I don't feel safe. I feel worried and scared and nervous. And tonight hasn't gone that well so I'm a big failure at converting Harry into a Draco fan. So what's the point of even talking about this stuff? It's probably never gonna happen," he said feeling upset.

"I didn't know you felt so uncertain about our future. I thought I made it quite clear that I chose you," Hermione told him with tears slightly forming in her eyes.

"You did. But all that can change. Your best friend doesn't like me. And let's face it people, he's never going to. So Harry, you're off the hook. You can stop trying now. You don't have to like me. I get it."

"I never said I wanted to give up on this," Harry responded.

"Spare me okay? You hate me with Hermione. Everyone does. So let's just call it a night," Draco said getting up from the table and disappearing across the room.

"Is he leaving?" Ginny asked.

"I don't know," Hermione said shaking her head.

"I think he went to the loo," Harry said to them.

"Well go after him!" Ginny urged him.

"What? Why? He's right you know. This night is stupid. I can try all I want but we'll never be friends," Harry admitted.

"Just go after him and make this right. Stop being so bull headed. Go!" Ginny said shoving Harry off the stool he sat on.

"Gin, I don't want to go!"

"Go!"

"Fine. But he's just going to be mad at me for following him. If he's taking a piss he doesn't want to talk to me."

"He's not taking a piss, he's upset," Ginny informed him.

"How do you know what he's doing in there? When men run off to a bathroom they're usually taking a piss not crying like a woman."

"Draco has a history of crying in bathrooms," Ginny pointed out.

"Oh God, that was ancient history."

""Harry please just go see if he's okay. For me, alright? I don't know if he ditched me here or not. Please check," Hermione pleaded with him.

"Fine. I'm going. But this is ridiculous. If he's crying in there, I'm walking out. I'm not even trying to comfort him because he might curse me like last time."

"He never cursed you. You cursed him first! So go," Hermione said firmly.

Harry got up and drudged his way towards the loo. He didn't want to be doing this at all but apparently both of the women in his life seemed to feel Draco and he needed to bond over the urinals in a stinky bathroom. But Harry didn't know what to do or say no matter what Draco was doing in there. If he was crying, Harry wasn't going to hug him or anything. And if he was taking a piss, he wasn't holding his dick for him. What did they expect him to do? But he went in there anyway. He opened the door and saw Draco standing by the sink just staring in the mirror blankly. He wasn't crying or doing anything.

"Why are you in here?" he asked Harry, seeing his reflection in the mirror.

"Uh, the girls wanted me to check on you."

"Well I'm fine. So run along."

"Look, I realize tonight hasn't been the best evening we've ever had. But Hermione really loves you. So don't fuck this up with your insecurities. If she wanted to ditch you, she would have done it already. Do you know how much shit she's had to take at work for that stupid article? She obviously thinks you're worth the heartache and the pain. I don't get it, but it's not my place to get it. Hermione lost everything when she lost her parents and broke up with Ron. She has nothing left. Except you. You're like her entire world. You're all she can see of tomorrow. And if you fucking walk out of this restaurant and leave her, I will fucking kill you. Do you understand me? So what if I'm having a hard time embracing you into my life? Give me a sodding break, Draco. You were a complete fucktard to me my whole life. Hermione might be able to forgive and forget, but something tells me she's swayed by all the apparently hot sex you have, that I don't want to hear about. Orgasms melt women's brains. And since you're not gonna be giving me any of those, it's a bit harder for me to forget. But I'm working on it. Give me time. And do not fucking hurt Hermione. I mean it. Don't you dare walk away from her because you're sad people don't like you. She does, and she's all that matters. So buck it up cowboy and just go back out there and sit at the goddamn table and pretend we're friends. Got it?" Harry said to him very vehemently.

"Jesus fucking hell. What has gotten into you?" Draco asked staring at him oddly.

"I'm just trying to be a good friend. To everyone. That includes you, you assface. I love Hermione a lot and I would do anything to make her happy. Even if it means being friends with you. And don't think I won't get shit for that too, because I will. If people know I'm all supportive and going out to dinner with you, they will talk. And it won't be pleasant for me. But I'm fucking doing it anyway. That's what love is. It's sacrifice. So if you love Hermione, you'll stop acting like a spoiled child running to the loo to sulk and just go back to the table and be a man. She thinks you ditched her here. So go back out there and make it okay again."

"You're really fucking bossy. I thought Hermione was the queen of bossy, but you're worse. Can't a fellow go to the loo without it causing world war three? I was just calming myself down. Okay? All this talk about marriage is fucking terrifying. Do I look like I'm ready to be someone's bloody husband? I can barely take care of myself. And to know that absolutely no one will be happy for us if we should choose to do that, really fucking sucks. You'll hate it, my parents will hate it. The fucking world will gossip about it. How am I supposed to feel talking of such things?"

"We don't have to talk about that. You're the one who brought up marriage."

"Yeah, with you and Ginny. I never fucking said I wanted to get married."

"Are you honestly telling me you aren't gonna marry Hermione someday? Because if you are, just get out now. Because I know her and she sees her fucking future with you. And if you don't deliver that, she'd gonna be wrecked again, just like before. If you're not serious about her, then I want you to just leave and go away and never come back."

"Fuck you, Potter. I'm not leaving and never coming back! And I never said I didn't want to do it. I love her. I'd love nothing more than to have her as my wife. But it's all premature. I'm a sodding mess still. I can't marry anyone. That doesn't mean I don't want to. I want to! I will! Someday, I will. She's my everything. This isn't a fucking game to me. I'm not going to hurt her. If anything, I fear her hurting me. How long until she just gives up on me getting my shit together? Or how long do you think she'll put up with the gossip and the scorn for being with a fucking Death Eater, huh? I'm the one in danger of being destroyed here, not her."

"She's not going to destroy you. She loves you. She wouldn't do that."

"She did it to Ron, didn't she? She said he was supposedly the love of her life and she dumped him like a hot potato and ran off. I hate the bloke, but I feel bad for him too. To have Hermione in your grasp and to have her leave you? It must be devastating. Not even a bleached blonde bimbo with huge tits could numb that pain. But I give him points for trying."

"Alright, so she did break Ron's heart. I'll hand you that. But she was messed up. And they didn't work. I love them both, but they just didn't work. They fought all the time. Even before they got together. You can't compare the two. No two relationships are the same. I think she loves you more than she loved him. It pains me to admit it, but I think she does. So don't blow it. You have the world in your hands, Draco. Don't let it go," Harry said seriously.

"You really think she loves me more than she loved the Weasel?"

"I do. I think you two share something that no one else can touch. Not me, not the public, not your parents. No one. That is unless you just roll over and give up."

"I don't want to give up. I want to be with her. It's just, I'm so fucking screwed up inside. Harry, you have no idea. I don't expect you to care, but it's true. I'm a sodding mess. I'm confused about where I fit in this world. I don't fit anywhere. The good guys don't want me and the bad guys hate my guts. Where do I belong?" Draco asked, starting to get really emotional, much to his dismay.

"You fit with her. Sod everyone else. Even me. Don't listen to me when I say stupid shit. Plus, you've not given many people a chance to get to know you. You fucking dropped off the radar for almost two years. Give people a chance to warm up. It takes time."

"Yeah? All I've got is time I guess."

"Well put it to good use. Stop hiding out in here. It's silly. Just come back to the table."

"Fine. I'm sorry you had to run in here after me. I know you probably didn't want to."

"Eh, it's fine. Just don't make me do it again. Only girls go off to the loo to sulk. Men don't do that," Harry informed him.

"Yeah? Well where else should I sulk? Outside? Maybe that would have been better. I could have had a smoke."

"Just go back to the table. Let's put this past us."

"Alright. I'll go back. But now I feel stupid for running off. I was making a dramatic exit and you ruined it by coming to get me. No one was supposed to do that," Draco said to him.

"Blame the girls. They made me come after you. I didn't want to."

"Thanks for doing it anyway. Your extreme pep talk did wonders for me."

"Really?"

"Sort of. I mean, you showed me how stupid I am. And I don't usually admit that freely."

"Yeah, well, it was stupid to hide in here. What's your fascination with bathroom sulking anyway?"

"I don't have a fascination with bathroom sulking. It's just supposed to be a private place. Not that it ever was. Someone was always bloody interrupting me. If not you, then a sodding ghost girl. There was no privacy at Hogwarts unless you locked yourself in the room of requirement."

"Which you did very often."

"How do you know?"

"Because I was watching you. You disappeared off my map all the time. It took me ages to figure out where you were going to."

"Your map? What map?" Draco asked curiously.

"My Marauder's Map. It showed me everyone in the whole school and where they were and what they were up to. Believe me I saw some questionable things in the hallways late at night. It was entertaining," Harry admitted.

"A Marauder's Map? What the fuck is that?"

"It's something I was given. My dad and his friends made it when they were in school. It's just a thing."

"You still have it?"

"Of course."

"Are you gonna give it to your kids someday?"

"I don't know. Maybe?

"What about your invisibility cloak?"

"I still have that too. I'm saving it."

"Why did you always get the cool shit?" Draco wondered.

"I was the Chosen One. What can I say?"

"Fuck you, Chosen One. Can we go back to the table now?" Draco asked.

"Yes, let's. Please. And by the way, fuck you too for being a prick," Harry told him with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah. Fuck you's all around. Now that we got that out of our system, maybe we can drink some more?"

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Let's get out of here," Draco said heading for the door.

Harry followed after him and he sighed to himself. Little by little Draco was endearing himself to him. Not in big ways, but in small human ways. He'd see a little bit more of the real Draco each time he spoke to him and he was starting to understand Hermione's feelings. Not entirely, but the progress was there. If he could forget the past, Draco wasn't half bad. He was just really hard on himself and too self pitying. Harry hoped he'd get over that shit and just walk tall and stop worrying so much. They didn't have to be best friends in order for them to exist together peacefully. Harry was starting to understand that and he hoped Draco was as well.

**Feedback is much appreciated! I love reviews. Let me know if you like the story or if it totally sucks. Thanks for reading!**


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